Right Here Waiting

****

If you are going to cope with fate,
you can't go on saying you are sad or [lonely.]

****

I groaned as I awoke a week later since Sai's arrival. There were noises coming from downstairs, so I knew that everyone else must have been awake by now. It was still a bit weird to me to wake up to a lot of noises in the morning. I mean, even when it was just Toshiro here with me, all I could hear was the low sounds of the morning news. Now, that same familiar morning news was accompanied by noises from the kitchen, and occasionally, Rangiku's light hearted laughter.

As soon as I pulled off my blankets I felt the need to pull them over me again. My room was surprisingly cold, and when I looked out my window, I soon saw that it was because pure white snow had begun to fall from the sky.

When I walked down into the kitchen Rangiku and Sai were seated at the table, drinking coffee. Toshiro was probably in the living room, sipping on tea. After the incident with the Starbucks coffee, he seems to be boycotting any and all coffee. Sad, really. But I wasn't much of a coffee drinker myself. I preferred water and lemonade actually.

My brother and Rangiku were discussing Christmas decor that Sai wanted to put up. When I entered, Rangiku gave me a bright smile before turning back to talk some more with Sai. Before I was really bothered by all this, but since they seem to be getting along just great, that feeling shrunk a good deal.

Just as long as my dear older brother didn't decide to start a doomed romance with the shinigami. It really would be doomed, in my opinion. Why you ask? Simple. A human can't expect to live their lives with a shinigami. When they die, shinigami continue on to live, and then we humans become nothing more than a memory.

Just like all that was happening to me now.

To Toshiro and Rangiku, this will be nothing more than a memory, that will eventually fade from their minds.

It was something that I thought about every single day.

I didn't want to stand there seeing my brother fall for a woman who would eventually break his heart, so I exited the kitchen and walked into the living room. Toshiro glanced away from the television for a second, and read my face. I hated when he did that. Before he got a chance to act all concerned again, I spoke. "For a bunch of otherworldly shinigami, you guys sure are fitting in well here. Look at you guys, you're making this place feel all family-ish and homely."

My eyes wandered to the walls, and more importantly, the calendar that was hanging on the wall. Before Toshiro got a chance to reply to my remark, I let a smirk onto my face and said a few more words. "Wow. Tomorrow's Christmas Eve." A bit of excitement was evident in my voice, and I strolled over to the white haired boy.

My hands latched onto his shoulders, and I shook him. Toshiro got this shocked look on his face, and he tried to keep his tea from spilling all over him. "Santa is going to come!" I told him happily, and then I let go of him, much to his relief.

From the kitchen table Sai spoke, "Santa, Hikaru?" His voice held a hint of disbelief.

I ignored it, and nodded my head stubbornly. "Yes, Santa. Ayame always told me he was real. She actually met him you know." I told him proudly. "Just how do you think Santa got my gifts to me? He gave them to Ayame, and then she gave them to me. Santa's pretty smart, you know."

Sai smiled a bit. "Oh I see. Well, if Ayame said so, I guess it must be true."

I stared at him, trying to ignore the seed of hate that still remained. I wasn't going to get over my childhood events in a week, but I was trying. At least for Sai's sake. I mean, he was trying to be all brotherly and stuff.

It then occurred to me that I hadn't picked up everyone's gifts yet. They were still sitting at the Gift Wrapping store, waiting for me to pick them up. Toshiro took a sip of his tea, and I tapped his shoulder impatiently, much to his annoyance. "Hurry up! You take your time like a old geezer! We need to go shopping!"

"Shopping?" Toshiro asked, raising an eyebrow at me. He didn't want to go along like he did last time. Last time I went dress shopping for the Winter Ball, and he was none too happy about it. Mr. Grumpy complained about how long I was taking and that Rangiku wasn't really helping. Which was semi-true, since she just got any dress that she really liked off the rack for me to try on, regardless of the price. As if I could afford half the dresses she brought to me. But I finally settled on a baby blue off the shoulder dress. It had ribbons on it, and although it was a very simple dress, I really liked it.

But I don't think Toshiro truly enjoyed the whole adventure. If anything, I think he was slightly disturbed at how girly I can get sometimes. Which is a rarity by the way, since in my opinion, I'm not as girly as I can be.

I rolled my eyes at him, and moved my face dangerously close. The young shinigami inched back, and I whispered into his ear. "I need to go pick up Ran-chan's and Sai's gifts from the shop. Like you always say, I can't go alone."

Toshiro thought about this for a few seconds, "Fine, fine." He told me reluctantly.

I let a small smile on my face, " 'Kay. Let's get going then." I pulled him off the couch and dragged him over to the door.

"Wait! Don't you want some breakfast Hika-chan?" Rangiku asked as I pulled on my black wool coat. I glanced over to what my brother was eating.

Yuck...

Rangiku had some really strange recipes. I had an odd feeling that the only reason that my brother managed to scarf it all down was because he genuinely liked the free spirited woman.

But it didn't mean that I had to make my stomach angry at me because my brother just happened to like her. So no, I would have to take that offer some other time. I didn't want to be throwing it all up later on in the day.

I wrapped my new scarf that Sai had bought for me around my neck. "No thanks. I'll get something while I'm out." I responded, grabbing Toshiro's scarf and putting it around his neck.

He swatted away my hands. "Don't treat me like a child Hikaru." Toshiro stated, his voice showing hints of irritation.

I found myself grinning as I messed with his hair. "But you are a kid, kiddo."

****

"Girls are strange." Toshiro stated, as I stared into a window of a shop we were walking by.

I suppressed the urge to giggle. It seemed like a thing someone his age would say. At least, how old he appeared, Mr. I'm actually decades and decades old. "You really think so? Why is that?"

My eyes strayed from one item to the next, until I caught sight of a little scene thingy with little people skating around in a fake ice rink. It lit up with little lights, and I could hear music from inside the store. These things had always caught my attention in stores, but I never had the courage to ask for one.

"Well, lets take you for example." Toshiro said in much more mature voice than earlier.

"Me?" I questioned, still eyeing the Christmas scene. There were buildings in it, and a train would come out from one of them and circle the little fake town.

"Yes. You agreed to go out on a 'date' with a boy you don't even know very well,"

I interrupted him before he could continue on. "It's only a dance. A one time thing, if you will. Besides, why do you even care?" I saw him scowl out of the corner of my eye. "I've done worse... Like letting some little boy that's not even human stay at my house, within forty-eight hours of meeting him. Wow, and you think a one time date is much worse."

I heard him sigh. "Dismissing your interruption, you go around dressed up like a wannabe Yankee, keeping up this odd tough girl exterior."

I rolled my eyes. "Toshiro, I am not a Yankee." I argued, "I'm a teenage delinquent with no gang affiliation. It's different."

"It's basically the same." He countered."But when it comes down to it, you're just a normal, living, breathing human girl who just doesn't know what she wants."

This time his words forced me to pull away from the glass window. I felt the bags that I held in my hands rustle against me. "What? Of course I know what I want." A white speck fell in front of my face and onto my nose. I blinked rather stupidly, before finding out that it was a snowflake.

After a small sneeze, I averted my attention back to Toshiro. It was snowing again, and a little child nearby squealed with glee. The snow fell around my short friend, and I liked how it gave this nice affect to his features. Even though at the moment he was giving me an annoyed look.

There must have been something on my face again, because he turned his gaze away from me. "You see? This is exactly what I mean."

"Eh?" I let out, in utter confusion. Toshiro began to walk away, while I stood there, as if my feet had been glued to the cement. Um... what just happened exactly? "Hey! Kiddo wait up!" I pushed and shoved until I thought I caught up to him, but I couldn't catch a glimpse of his unusual snowy white hair.

Crap. I must have lost him within the crowd.

But then again, it is his fault. I mean, who told him to go off on his own all of the sudden? I guess I should try and find him.

I walked along the street until I came upon a fortune telling shop. It was highly unlikely that Toshiro would be in there, but places like this always intrigued Ayame and I. We had always liked this kind of stuff. Once, Ayame was pointing out to me where my life line on my palm was, and she told me that it was incredibly short. She laughed afterwards, but for a second, I was seriously freaked.

I decided to enter the little shop, as a sort of gift to Ayame. To let her know that I hadn't forgotten about the things we shared.

There were bells that chimed when I stepped through the front door. My nose wrinkled as a strong scent filled my nose. I had always hated incense, and I think it was because my mother had always chosen really strong ones to put around the house. The scents were really disgusting, but the one from the shop wasn't that bad, but still, my nose was not too happy to be smelling it.

From somewhere within the shop, a voice called out to me. "Come in, come in young child." It was a woman's voice, and I followed it. I came across a woman in her mid thirties, with black hair which was puled back into a loose bun. She didn't look like the stereotypical fortune tellers. The woman was seated behind a small table with a crystal ball in front of her. "Shining light, would you like your fortune told?"

Shining light? Oh that's right... my name means shining light. I sat down across from the woman. "Sure."

She nodded enthusiastically, then moved her hands around the crystal ball. I tried not to think that any of this was fake, since I was here for Ayame, and she loved this stuff. I would try and believe it as well as I could. Besides, she called me shining light with out knowing my name. I wasn't wearing any name tags to give it away either.

"Hmm... this is most interesting." The woman stared intently into the crystal ball, and I inched forward. All I saw was a foggy ball, nothing remotely interesting if you ask me. "You're life has been and will be in constant danger. Even more so since destiny decided to act."

I frowned. That didn't tell me anything new.

"Ah, but never fear. There is a brave soul by your side. Someone who your heart is very close to."

I shook my head. "What? No... I don't like anyone."

A small smile came to her lips. "Are you so sure? Love is blind. Your meeting with this person set your fate into motion."

Someone I met? I couldn't help letting out an uneasy laugh. "You don't mean Toshiro do you? We're just...." My voice trailed off as I remembered the night when his lips were so close to mine, and the awkward day after that.

She had to be kidding.

There was no way I could possibly be in love with him. No way.

I shook my head trying to find something of importance to find out. Something other than my non-existant love life.

"Ayame... what about Ayame?" I asked urgently, forgetting all about Toshiro.

The woman looked up at me in mild surprise. "The iris?" I nodded, and her eyes wavered. What did she see? "She is the one who has died, correct?" I nodded slightly again, flinching at the word, 'died'. "A bittersweet reunion..." She glanced up at me again, confused. "But how can that be? You are living... she is gone..."

She trailed off, and but I only heard my rapidly beating heart.

"Perhaps.... this is a sign of your own death?"

My brow creased, my own death? Impossible. I had Toshiro...

"I'm sorry. Maybe it's best you leave." She stood up all of the sudden, and began pushing me out.

"Wait, why? Did you see how I'm going to die?" By the time I had finished spilling out my questions, I was already out on the cold sidewalk.

"I'm sorry. I can not say anymore. Good bye, and good luck." The woman closed the door behind her, and the 'open' sign was flipped over to the 'closed' side.

"There you are. You made me look everywhere for you." Toshiro's voice made me jump.

The brave soul who is supposed to be close to my heart... I shook my head, trying to rid my mind of the thought. No way. Just no way. Toshiro didn't even like me at all. He just called me weird about thirty minutes ago. It was me leaning in that night in the darkness, when he almost kissed me. No, wait. That would mean that I do like him... Ugh... all this thinking was giving me an unwanted headache.

"Is something... wrong?" Toshiro pulled me away from my thoughts.

I shook my head, fighting down a blush that threatened to turn my face a light pink. Oh no... blushing was a bad sign. Major bad sign. "No... I'm alright."

"Are you sure? You look a bit red.... Have you been taking your medicine?" Toshiro leaned forward to touch my forehead, but I inched back involuntarily.

"Yes, I have." I half lied. The only times I had taken my medicine was when he himself forced it down my throat.

My eyes wandered around nervously, until I caught sight of a small bag in his hands. "What's that?" I asked, pointing to it.

He held it up for me to see. "It's for Matsumoto."

I opened my mouth in surprise. This was a first. He was usually complaining about how she was such a troublemaker. Then I caught onto the fact that he only waited till today to actually buy it. "What? Don't tell me that you almost forgot to get her something! Bad Toshiro," I lightly hit the back of his head while walking away from the shop. "Christmas is the second most important holiday to girls. After Valentine's of course. And sometimes their very own birthday." I informed him, while motioning towards a young couple who were buying something in a jewelry store.

"Right." Toshiro answered.

We passed the shop with the Christmas scene thingy that I liked so much, and my eyes fell upon it once again. I stared at it with a longing.

"What are you looking at?"

I shook my head. "Oh, nothing. Let's go home before Sai decides he wants to breed like a bunny with your fukutaicho."

Toshiro turned to me, with a horrified face which I found oddly amusing. I laughed, "Just imagine, little Rangiku's and Sai's running around in your office, making a huge mess!" I held onto my stomach as it began to hurt from laughing so much.

The look of pure terror didn't disappear from the taicho's face. "That's not funny, Hikaru. It's... disturbing."

I gave him a shifty look. "Right. I'd rather not think about it myself." But I was much too late for my own mind's sake. I cringed a second later, and began to shake my head. "Ewww! Mental image! Mental image!" I cried, holding onto my head.

It caused the shinigami to dodge my shopping bags that were just about to hit him.

Our home came into view, and the next thing I knew, my cries were interrupted as a snowball went flying into my face. Some of the cold snow made it into my mouth. Yuck. "What the?" I started as I whipped off the snow from my face. I heard Sai's laughter from behind a snowman.

Another snowball zoomed at me, but this time I was prepared. I ducked, and it went splat! Onto Toshiro's face. "Got you Taicho~!" Rangiku giggled and hid behind another snowman that resembled a certain shinigami.

"Matsumoto!" Toshiro yelled out, annoyed.

Within seconds, an all out snowball fight was in the works, which pitted sibling versus sibling, superior versus subordinate. And in midst of the chaos of flying snow, a thought came floating into my silly head. Toshiro wasn't actually that bad... I mean.. He's just a kid, sure, but now that I think about it, I trust him more than I meant to initially. But one fact still remained.

Toshiro is a shinigami.

I am nothing more than a simple human.