Gum and Cigarettes

****
"Where are we going?" I asked him, his hand slithered into mine. I smiled and he shook his hair out of his eyes. He grinned my grin. My favorite grin. My smile didn't fade.
"Shh, it's a secret." His voice was low and husky and I giggled, pecking him on the cheek as we walked down the empty hall way of my school.

"Can I know now?" I said, still giggling and pecking him quickly on the lips. He put on his poker face and that made me bite my lip to stifle my laughter.

"How about now?" I asked again, and stopped.

He narrowed his eyes as I wrapped my arms around his neck and his hands automatically slid around my waist. I kissed up his neck and then his jaw line. I could hear his quiet breathing in my ear. I traced his lips with my tongue and kissed him, my hands running through his light brown hair. He pulled away and sighed.

"You know I'm still not telling you, come on, it's late, we're not supposed to be out, imagine what a teacher would say if they saw us hooking up in the hall way at 1 in the morning?" His voice was full of humor. I pouted and pulled away.

"Aww, Logan that's not fair you know I hate surprises." I whined, but he was already walking ahead. I skipped to catch up to him.
"Please, please, please, please!" I begged. He grinned again. Fine. Time to threaten him.
"Tell me or I'll smoke." He looked at me in shock, but quickly recovered. I saw the quick sign of panic in his light brown eyes and immediately regretted stooping that low.

"I'm about to show you something beautiful and you're gonna get mad?" He made sure to sound beyond upset. I snarled and he laughed as we quickly slid into a secret entrance that led outside.

"Logan, just gimme a hint, how much longer?"
"Two more minutes, beautiful."
He began walking me through a bunch of bushes, and trees. I gripped his hand tightly, being terrified of the dark.
"I've never been here." I don't know why I was whispering.

"That's why I'm taking you here, silly willy." He led me into a small clearing and I gasped. The moon seemed to be feet away from me, so close that I could jump and touch it. The trees bent over it, the leaves looking as if they were scraping against it. The grass glistened from the days rain, and even though it was dark, a sort of brightness filled the small field. In the corners I could make out the shapes of flowers, the colors dull in the dark but still beautiful.
"Oh Logan, it's beautiful." I was crying, I don't know why. It's the small moments that mean the most. He kissed me gently, moving my hair out of my eyes.
"Happy 2 years, I love you."

****

Of all the moments to think of when I'm with Draco Malfoy I think of this. For some reason, this moment seemed so much like the other. Draco took my hand as I got up and smiled at Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fred and George. Just no threats guys, please don't say anything. They glared at Draco who stood there as if he just won a competition. In some ways he did. He began to lead me out the hall, still holding my hand. I scowled and pulled away.

"Where are we going?"
"My bed." I could hear the laughter in his voice.
"I thought you we're gonna show me around." I said, trying not to lose my temper.
"Yeah, around my room, where my bed is, so you know how to get there for future references."
"Seriously Malfoy." He looked at me and smiled.
"I wanna smoke, then I'll show you around." I sighed. No Hannah, no cigarettes. He walked to the common rooms, not saying a word as we entered. My eyes immediately fell to the carpet near the fire place. He followed my gaze and smirked.

"Last night was enjoyable."

"Not at all." I hissed back and sat down on the couch farthest away from the fire place. He pulled out a pack of Marlbolo cigarettes and I closed my eyes.

"You want one?"
Don't do it. Don't do it.
"Thank you." And I took it from his hand, tracing it with my fingers.
"Smoking is bad for you." He said, sitting down next to me and lighting the cigarette.
"I haven't smoked in over 4 months." I mumbled as he lit mine and I quickly put it to my mouth, taking in the sweet taste.

"Why not?"
"It's unhealthy."
"So why are you smoking now?"
Oh shit he got me.
"Okay, I quit cause of my friend."
"Ah I see."
Phew.

"So what's your story? Why aren't you all over me yet?" My eyes widened and I swallowed the smoke in my mouth, coughing and bursting into a fit of laughter. He smirked once again.
"You cocky asshole."
"I'm trying to figure you out, I don't quite understand how you can pretend that you hate me, and then hookup with me."

"That was a mistake, I have a boyfriend." Hannah what in the world are you saying.
"No you don't, if you did you would never have cheated on him." Fuck you Malfoy.
I looked at him, he looked back. I like the shade of blue in his eyes, it's almost grey. They sparkled, like two blue stars. There was humor, there was something else. Worry? Hannah chill.

"You're hesitating, so it's something personal. Let me guess, you had to come here, but you loved someone for a long time, a year? Perfect boyfriend all that and because of him you quick smoking, you changed, you became what he wanted you to be, then you had to come here and break it off and now you're a confused poor wittle girl." His voice turned mocking at the end and my mouth opened in shock. I swallowed and put the cigarette down. My hands were shaking.

"I didn't change for him, and two years." I could hear how dry the words were.

"Yes you did, you tried to make yourself perfect." I shot him a look of pure hatred and got up. He pulled me down.
"Listen to me Malfoy." But I didn't finish.

I started crying
He did the most humane thing I've ever seen him do. He hugged me. No groping, no touching sexually, no smirk, he held me while I cried.
And then it ended. With shaking fingers, I lifted up the cigarette and inhaled. His hand was still around my waist.

You'd think after all the pain I'd go through after losing Logan, Draco would be the last person I'd wanna kiss. But I did it anyway. I think we leaned in at the same time, but all I know was that cigarette still in between fingers, I had my arms around my neck and he was taking full advantage of this situation. I didn't care. But I knew I would later. I kissed him, no hesitation, no fighting or pulling away as he leaned over me on the couch. You'd think I lost my mind. I'm sure I lost it.