How To Save A Life

I woke up groggily in the tree house the next morning, all of the manila folder’s contents strewn across the floor. I was still in my dress from the night before and I hadn’t even brushed my teeth. Overall I felt gross and guilty and horrible and my back ached. It was even a strain climbing down from the tree house’s ladder and trudging my way around our crisp yard through the back door and to the kitchen.

“What time is it?” I groaned.

Liam was at the counter making coffee. He wore his usual painting clothes: sweats, a watercolor stained tee shirt, and some weird looking socks.

“Well, it’s past ten so Mom and Dad are both at work or at least Dad’s looking for work. They’ll be here later though.”

I sank into a stool at the kitchen island. Our house was quite nice in the morning, all the fresh sunlight gleaming on the light wooden floors and family photos. The necessary furniture was pretty much all we had still out and about.

“You shouldn’t be drinking coffee.” I muttered, laying my head against the counter. “You’re a little person.”

“And you shouldn’t be up in tree houses with boys all night.”

I scowled. “You always try and pull that. Trent and I are friends, always friends, always will be friends, and nothing else.”

He poured himself a mug of coffee. Then he added sugar and milk before pouring me a glass of something. He gently nudged glass of orange juice in my direction. He knew orange juice was my favorite.

“Then why’d Trent leave looking all upset?”

Shouldn’t a thirteen year old boy be eating Frosted Flakes, not downing cups of coffee?

“If you need to know he got upset when I told him I wouldn’t helping the boy with leukemia. He brought his dad’s death and he just left.” My eyes felt heavy and I didn’t know why, but I felt like crying.

“And why wouldn’t you want to help him?”

“Because Liam,” I finally raised myself up. “It’s a death wish. I’ll be hanging out with a dying person and I can’t handle that. My life’s already screwed up as it is. I can’t toss in leukemia.”

“But you’ll get money for college, it’s what you want.”

I shook my head. “It’s not and I’m starting to think it’s cruel. It’ll be like I’m using him for money while he’s dying. I can’t do that. It’s immoral.”

Now he drained the coffee from the mug and rested it in the sink.

“Well look at it this way… If I was sick and I talked to no one about anything, wouldn’t you want someone to come along and maybe save me? Make me a live again?”

I hated when he got like this, all philosophical and testy.

“But how could you possibly know that about that boy?”

Liam sat down next to me. If I looked at him closely, I could see he was becoming a handsome young man. His eyes were this shade of brown that if they hit the light, you felt like you see all sorts of shimmering shapes in them.

“You remember how I sometimes paint you; say that I can see things in your eyes that you don’t even see.”

I nodded.

“Well at that dinner, I looked into that boy’s eyes and his parents’ eyes. They’re in trouble. They’re not a family like we are. They’re not close like we are. If he dies without them having any closure or any sense of closeness, everything’s going to fall apart for them.” he said. “That boy needs you. His family needs you. You can fix this.”

My mind went back to the letter Mrs. Vladimir had written me and the heartache in the ink on that paper got to me then. Why did Liam have to be so damn right?

“I mean, Jess, don’t you believe in yourself? Don’t you think you can do this? I was only eight when you saved that little boy after that accident and even then I looked up to you. If you don’t do this, what am I supposed to believe in?”

That seemed to be the final blow in his words. He nudged the orange juice to me a bit further and we sat there in the silence of the morning hours.

I had a lot to think about.

* * * *

I rested in the gardens of the hospital. The flowers surrounded in spirals and there was just something about flowers that gave me an utter peace, a connection to Earth and life and nature. I remembered being only six years old and my father handing me a bouquet of sweet smelling lilies.

My dad came walking down the cobblestone path now, finding me on a bench that sat under the shade of a willow tree.

“Hey Dad” I muttered.

I’d showered, changed my clothes, brushed my teeth, and came here.

“Hey you called. Sorry I wasn’t there this morning. I know you probably want to talk.”

He sat down softly next to me and all I could manage to do was stare at the ground, stare and stare until those soft tears started falling. I’d been holding something in all morning and it hurt. It hurt so bad.

My dad pulled me into him, his arm over my shoulder.

“Oh God sweetie, I didn’t think it would upset you this much. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

The tears just kept on falling. He’d worked at the hospital and they’d done staff cuts. He’d been one of the first ones to go. An elderly woman in a wheelchair rolls by slowly.

“I know these last few months have been hard. The real world… it isn’t easy. I just never wanted you to feel the hurt of it so soon. I just wanted to protect you guys from it. It’s why your mom and I waited so long to tell you the money worries we were in. We never wanted you to worry.”

I leaned away from him, trying to wipe my red eyes, and trying not to choke on my words.

“But we’re your kids, how are we not supposed to worry?” I looked to him. “Even if I do go off to college, how am I going to know you guys are going to be okay?”

The last of my tears leaked onto the white cotton dress I wore. It was one of my favorites. I’d gotten it a few months ago at a flea market.

“That’s why you have to get out there Jessica and build your own life. Your mom and I did. That’s how we got you guys and its how we’re happy. We’d never give anything up if it meant not having you and Liam.”

I swallowed. “Even if it meant you guys had more money?” My head was pounding for some reason. I felt like I needed some aspirin.

“No, never your father and I love you guys and we want you to stop worrying about us. You’re young. You shouldn’t have any worried, but you do. Your mom and I just wanted to give you an option. It’s why we worked so hard for you guys. We wanted to give you and Liam options.”

I gave a weary smile. My parents had worked hard to make sure we lived comfortable lives, no worries, and just carefree childhoods. I guess that’s what made everything so hard when reality had crashed down on us. Sometimes it surprised me how easily everyone else took it and why I was the one so broken down by it.

“You’ve got an amazing soul, Jessica. You can save people’s lives just like I always wanted to. I never went to college. I never got that chance. You and Liam can be whoever you want to be. Just put what you were given in your heat to good use.”

He pulled me in again and planted a soft kiss on my forehead, just like he did when I was younger.

“Call me if you need to talk anymore. I’ve got to go inside and finish some paperwork.”

I watched my dad walk his way through the gardens and exhaled. Something had lifted off my shoulders, but another decision had come: to help Zachary Vladimir in his last times of life or find another way.

I think I know what I need to do. I struggled not to cry again as I walked home.