She's My Kinda Girl
i forgive you.
Devan wasn’t sure if she was going to pass out or throw up. She wasn’t even sure what to say. It was one of those feelings where everything was hitting her at once and she wasn’t quite sure how to feel.
“Devan, I—“
Devan held up a hand, cutting him off. She shook her head. “You—“ she cut herself off, shaking her head again.
“I am so sorry,” Alex whispered. “I am so sorry.”
“Stop!” she snapped. “How can you—“
“Devan—“
“—lie to my face?” she asked.
“Dev—“
“This entire time, I trusted you,” she told him softly. “I thought you were my friend because…because we got along, had something in common. But it was all out of pity. Pity and lies. And you—“
“It wasn’t out of pity, Devan, I promise you that,” Alex said.
Devan scoffed. “You’ll forgive me if I don’t believe your pathetic promises. You— Were you ever going to tell me? Or were you just going to hope that I would forget about it and we could move on? You could go on tour, guilt free, and I would never know the truth? Is that what you expected?”
“I didn’t know how to tell you,” Alex told her softly. “Can you blame me—“
“Don’t you dare try to make me feel sorry for you, Alex,” she snapped.
“I—“ Alex stopped himself. She was upset and it was obvious. He had never heard her so upset and, well, he couldn’t blame her.
“There is absolutely nothing you can say that will ever make this better, Alex,” she told him, opening the passenger’s side door and slowly getting out. If she had been in any other position, she would’ve slammed the door and stormed off. But she couldn’t. So she settled for a physical calm that she most definitely did not feel and made her way into her house. The minute the door shut behind her, she tossed her crutches aside, and she cried.
+
Alex cringed when Devan shut the car door behind her. He knew it wasn’t going to go well, but there was no way of anticipating how bad it was really going to be. And, yeah, okay, he deserved it. Actually, he felt like he deserved a lot more. She barely yelled at him, she didn’t make a scene, she didn’t even try to hit him.
And Alex didn’t know why he had been anticipating something physical but. He was. And he was surprised that nothing else really happened.
Shaking his head, he left her house but he didn’t really remember driving home. He sat in his driveway for ten, fifteen, twenty minutes before his phone rang.
“Hey, Rian.”
”Dude, you still have my car. You’re lucky Jack gave me a ride home. When can you bring it back?”
“Oh,” Alex said quietly, “um. I can—I can bring it over now, I guess.”
”Lex, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing. See you in a few,” he told him before hanging up his phone. He tossed it in the passenger’s’ seat before making his way towards Rian’s house. He wanted to be angry with Rian and Adele for pushing him into telling Devan before he was ready, but he knew it wasn’t his fault. She was gonna find out either way. And, okay, maybe he should have told her, well, right after it happened.
But he didn’t. And he had no one to blame but himself.
By the time he got to Rian’s house, his mind was jumbled. He wanted to talk to Devan again—he needed to. There was so much more he had to say; he needed to make her understand. Even though he barely understood the situation himself.
“Hey, man,” Rian said, walking up to the drivers side window of his car.
“Hey,” Alex greeted, stepping out of the car and handing his best friend the keys.
“What’s wrong, Lex?”
Alex sighed. “I told her. Are you happy now?” he asked.
Rian bit his lip. “She didn’t take it well?”
“How do you think she took it, Rian?” Alex snapped, rolling his eyes.
Rian shrugged lightly—good point. “What happened?”
“She wants nothing to do with me. Are you happy now?”
“Alex—“
“You and Adele pushed me into telling her before I was ready—“
“It wasn’t about whether or not you were ready, Alex,” Rian reminded him.
Alex ran his hands over his face. “You have no idea how mad she is.”
“I can imagine,” Rian said softly.
“You really can’t, Rian. You weren’t there. She yelled at me.”
“You kind of deserved it, Alex.”
Alex sighed. “If this is you trying to help, then you really suck at it,” he muttered.
“Look, I know it must’ve been hard to tell her, but you should’ve told her right from the start.”
“Believe it or not, Rian, I wasn’t thinking about saving my own ass,” Alex told him. “We would’ve lost the record deal. We would’ve lost the tour.”
Rian sighed. “I know.”
“Is that what you wanted?”
“Of course not, but—“
“Now maybe you get it,” Alex said. “It’s not like I didn’t tell her and then forgot about it. I thought about it every single day, Rian. It wasn’t lost on me that it was all my fault, that she could have died, she could have been paralyzed. But when I found out I knew she was gonna be okay, I thought more about our situation since I knew hers wouldn’t be permanent.”
“I know you think you did the right thing—“
“You have no idea, Rian,” Alex snapped.
+
Almost a week later, Devan was sitting at graduation with her crutches to her right. She was still in a slight daze from the last conversation that she had with Alex. Even though she knew she should have, she didn’t tell her father what she had found out. It just wasn’t worth it.
She tried to tell herself that it was over, it was in the past. She wasn’t even angry that Alex had been the reason she had crashed—she was angry that he didn’t tell her, that he pretended to be her friend. She was angry that he lied. But most of all, she was angry that he didn’t even try to talk to her again after his confession.
Maybe she thought that he would try harder, and it hurt when he didn’t follow through.
Her row of students was called and she slowly made her way up towards the stage. As her name was called, reverberating through the church, she met her father’s eyes and she accepted her diploma. As she hobbled down the steps, she made the mistake of looking over the crowd.
Alex was staring right at her, clapping furiously with the rest of the class.
She looked away quickly, following the students back to the pew where she sat down. She looked down at the folder in her hand, glancing back up, and Alex was still looking at her.
+
“Are you ready to go home?” Leonard asked his daughter as she removed the robe that she was required to wear at graduation.
Devan paused, handing the robe to her father. “I’ll meet you at the car in five minutes?”
“Do you need any help?” he asked.
She shook her head. “No, I got this. I just wanna say goodbye to some people.”
“Okay. I’ll meet you at the car,” Leonard agreed, turning away and walking towards his vehicle.
Devan sucked in a deep breath before scanning the crowd, eyes landing on Alex. Even though she was used to her crutches, it still took a few minutes for her to finally reach him. She tapped him on the shoulder and waited for him to turn around.
Alex’s dark eyes widened as they landed on Devan. “Hey.”
“Hi.”
Alex shifted from foot to foot before turning around and motioning for Jack and Rian to give them some space. “So…”
“I don’t know if I’m ever going to forgive you.”
“Ouch,” he said softly.
“I know that I’m still hurt and angry. And even though I understand where you were coming from, it doesn’t make it right. And I’m sure that you know that,” she told him.
“I do,” Alex agreed with a slow nod.
Devan sighed. “Good luck, Alex.”
“What?”
“Touring, recording,” she said with a shrug. “You’re gonna do great.”
“You—“
“I just…wanted to say that,” Devan said.
“Devan, I’m so sorry. Even if you never forgive me, just know that, okay?”
“I know. But being sorry doesn’t always make it better or take away the pain,” she told him. “Good luck. I’ll buy all your albums, I promise—“
“Will you come see us when we play?”
“Alex—“
“I’ll put you on the guest list—“
“You don’t—“
“—every single time,” he finished with a nod. “You’re always welcome at our shows. And you have my number if you ever want to talk.”
Devan nodded. “Enjoy your summer,” she said quietly before turning around to walk away.
Alex reached out, touching her shoulder gently. When she turned around, he pressed a kiss to her temple. He didn’t even know what to say, so he didn’t say anything. He just let her walk away.
Devan walked away from him slowly, meeting her father at the car before wiping at her cheeks.
“Are you okay, Dev?” Leonard asked, worried.
Devan nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m good.”
“Devan, I—“
Devan held up a hand, cutting him off. She shook her head. “You—“ she cut herself off, shaking her head again.
“I am so sorry,” Alex whispered. “I am so sorry.”
“Stop!” she snapped. “How can you—“
“Devan—“
“—lie to my face?” she asked.
“Dev—“
“This entire time, I trusted you,” she told him softly. “I thought you were my friend because…because we got along, had something in common. But it was all out of pity. Pity and lies. And you—“
“It wasn’t out of pity, Devan, I promise you that,” Alex said.
Devan scoffed. “You’ll forgive me if I don’t believe your pathetic promises. You— Were you ever going to tell me? Or were you just going to hope that I would forget about it and we could move on? You could go on tour, guilt free, and I would never know the truth? Is that what you expected?”
“I didn’t know how to tell you,” Alex told her softly. “Can you blame me—“
“Don’t you dare try to make me feel sorry for you, Alex,” she snapped.
“I—“ Alex stopped himself. She was upset and it was obvious. He had never heard her so upset and, well, he couldn’t blame her.
“There is absolutely nothing you can say that will ever make this better, Alex,” she told him, opening the passenger’s side door and slowly getting out. If she had been in any other position, she would’ve slammed the door and stormed off. But she couldn’t. So she settled for a physical calm that she most definitely did not feel and made her way into her house. The minute the door shut behind her, she tossed her crutches aside, and she cried.
+
Alex cringed when Devan shut the car door behind her. He knew it wasn’t going to go well, but there was no way of anticipating how bad it was really going to be. And, yeah, okay, he deserved it. Actually, he felt like he deserved a lot more. She barely yelled at him, she didn’t make a scene, she didn’t even try to hit him.
And Alex didn’t know why he had been anticipating something physical but. He was. And he was surprised that nothing else really happened.
Shaking his head, he left her house but he didn’t really remember driving home. He sat in his driveway for ten, fifteen, twenty minutes before his phone rang.
“Hey, Rian.”
”Dude, you still have my car. You’re lucky Jack gave me a ride home. When can you bring it back?”
“Oh,” Alex said quietly, “um. I can—I can bring it over now, I guess.”
”Lex, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing. See you in a few,” he told him before hanging up his phone. He tossed it in the passenger’s’ seat before making his way towards Rian’s house. He wanted to be angry with Rian and Adele for pushing him into telling Devan before he was ready, but he knew it wasn’t his fault. She was gonna find out either way. And, okay, maybe he should have told her, well, right after it happened.
But he didn’t. And he had no one to blame but himself.
By the time he got to Rian’s house, his mind was jumbled. He wanted to talk to Devan again—he needed to. There was so much more he had to say; he needed to make her understand. Even though he barely understood the situation himself.
“Hey, man,” Rian said, walking up to the drivers side window of his car.
“Hey,” Alex greeted, stepping out of the car and handing his best friend the keys.
“What’s wrong, Lex?”
Alex sighed. “I told her. Are you happy now?” he asked.
Rian bit his lip. “She didn’t take it well?”
“How do you think she took it, Rian?” Alex snapped, rolling his eyes.
Rian shrugged lightly—good point. “What happened?”
“She wants nothing to do with me. Are you happy now?”
“Alex—“
“You and Adele pushed me into telling her before I was ready—“
“It wasn’t about whether or not you were ready, Alex,” Rian reminded him.
Alex ran his hands over his face. “You have no idea how mad she is.”
“I can imagine,” Rian said softly.
“You really can’t, Rian. You weren’t there. She yelled at me.”
“You kind of deserved it, Alex.”
Alex sighed. “If this is you trying to help, then you really suck at it,” he muttered.
“Look, I know it must’ve been hard to tell her, but you should’ve told her right from the start.”
“Believe it or not, Rian, I wasn’t thinking about saving my own ass,” Alex told him. “We would’ve lost the record deal. We would’ve lost the tour.”
Rian sighed. “I know.”
“Is that what you wanted?”
“Of course not, but—“
“Now maybe you get it,” Alex said. “It’s not like I didn’t tell her and then forgot about it. I thought about it every single day, Rian. It wasn’t lost on me that it was all my fault, that she could have died, she could have been paralyzed. But when I found out I knew she was gonna be okay, I thought more about our situation since I knew hers wouldn’t be permanent.”
“I know you think you did the right thing—“
“You have no idea, Rian,” Alex snapped.
+
Almost a week later, Devan was sitting at graduation with her crutches to her right. She was still in a slight daze from the last conversation that she had with Alex. Even though she knew she should have, she didn’t tell her father what she had found out. It just wasn’t worth it.
She tried to tell herself that it was over, it was in the past. She wasn’t even angry that Alex had been the reason she had crashed—she was angry that he didn’t tell her, that he pretended to be her friend. She was angry that he lied. But most of all, she was angry that he didn’t even try to talk to her again after his confession.
Maybe she thought that he would try harder, and it hurt when he didn’t follow through.
Her row of students was called and she slowly made her way up towards the stage. As her name was called, reverberating through the church, she met her father’s eyes and she accepted her diploma. As she hobbled down the steps, she made the mistake of looking over the crowd.
Alex was staring right at her, clapping furiously with the rest of the class.
She looked away quickly, following the students back to the pew where she sat down. She looked down at the folder in her hand, glancing back up, and Alex was still looking at her.
+
“Are you ready to go home?” Leonard asked his daughter as she removed the robe that she was required to wear at graduation.
Devan paused, handing the robe to her father. “I’ll meet you at the car in five minutes?”
“Do you need any help?” he asked.
She shook her head. “No, I got this. I just wanna say goodbye to some people.”
“Okay. I’ll meet you at the car,” Leonard agreed, turning away and walking towards his vehicle.
Devan sucked in a deep breath before scanning the crowd, eyes landing on Alex. Even though she was used to her crutches, it still took a few minutes for her to finally reach him. She tapped him on the shoulder and waited for him to turn around.
Alex’s dark eyes widened as they landed on Devan. “Hey.”
“Hi.”
Alex shifted from foot to foot before turning around and motioning for Jack and Rian to give them some space. “So…”
“I don’t know if I’m ever going to forgive you.”
“Ouch,” he said softly.
“I know that I’m still hurt and angry. And even though I understand where you were coming from, it doesn’t make it right. And I’m sure that you know that,” she told him.
“I do,” Alex agreed with a slow nod.
Devan sighed. “Good luck, Alex.”
“What?”
“Touring, recording,” she said with a shrug. “You’re gonna do great.”
“You—“
“I just…wanted to say that,” Devan said.
“Devan, I’m so sorry. Even if you never forgive me, just know that, okay?”
“I know. But being sorry doesn’t always make it better or take away the pain,” she told him. “Good luck. I’ll buy all your albums, I promise—“
“Will you come see us when we play?”
“Alex—“
“I’ll put you on the guest list—“
“You don’t—“
“—every single time,” he finished with a nod. “You’re always welcome at our shows. And you have my number if you ever want to talk.”
Devan nodded. “Enjoy your summer,” she said quietly before turning around to walk away.
Alex reached out, touching her shoulder gently. When she turned around, he pressed a kiss to her temple. He didn’t even know what to say, so he didn’t say anything. He just let her walk away.
Devan walked away from him slowly, meeting her father at the car before wiping at her cheeks.
“Are you okay, Dev?” Leonard asked, worried.
Devan nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m good.”
♠ ♠ ♠
To those who celebrate, Merry Christmas/ Happy Hanukkah/ Joyous Kwanza. If you don't celebrate, happy Sunday. I'm in a wonderful mood because life is good and Jesus is good. My cousins are home from Iraq and Afghanistan, which already makes this the best Christmas ever (and the HP series in Blu-Ray doesn't hurt either). Tis the last chapter and, well, y'all probably know what I usually say. I adore each and every one of you who has read and commented and subscribed to this. I'm not like most other authors on here who get pissed at silent readers and few comments. I love all of you equally. It makes me so happy that people read this--the comments are wonderful but it's not why I do this. You're all beautiful. It's possible a sequel will take place in the future, once I finish the other two stories I've been working on. But that's not the point. The point is: you're beautiful. All of you. You're so wonderful and I'm so blessed to have amazing readers like you. I love you.