Crazy

I go to school, the next day, like nothing ever happened with Josh. I go to school, filled with happiness. Even though I hate everyone there, I get a kick out of annoying them. I don’t even know why. It’s just a part of my personality, I guess. They’re reactions to me just being myself, are actually quite funny, in a weird way. I go to school, with my head held high and a big smile on my face.
I arrive at my locker, put my bag away, and get out the shit I need to start my day. I look in the little mirror, and put on my make up. Some lipstick. Some eyeliner. Some mascara. Etc.
I go to my first class of the day. It’s wicked boring. I don’t even listen to what my teacher’s saying. I don’t listen at all. I can’t listen to boring shit. I just physically can’t. I guess it’s just a part of my Aspergers. I don’t even know, to be honest.

After that, I go to lunch. This time, I don’t go out to smoke a cigarette. I think I’m trying to quit or something.
I just go upstairs.
I don’t even try to find Josh. Not today. I can’t after what he said to me…I don’t know what he meant by that, but I still don’t want to find him. I just have a bad feeling about it.
The bad feeling doesn’t keep me from being in a good mood though.
I just eat in the cafeteria. I walk around the place, looking for someone cool to sit with.
“HEY!” someone yells from their table. “YOU! EMO FREAK! WHY THE HELL AREN’T YOU SITTING ANYWHERE?”
I look at them. I’ve never seen them before in my life. Do they even know what emo is? I guess not, because I am far from it…
Then again, I probably have seen them before. Everyone in this school looks so much alike, that I can’t even tell the difference between any of them.
I roll my eyes and walk away.
“Sit somewhere, you fucking retard!” he yelled.
I look at them one more time as I walk away. They’re dressed really preppy. Extremely preppy. But they’re language is too vulgar for them to be preps. I don’t care what they are. They’re just assholes, I guess.
Then as I’m walking, I feel something surrounding me. It’s choking me. It’s around my neck, sucking the life out of me. I don’t know what it is. All I know is that I have to get away. I need to get away, like now..
I’m being thrown to the ground now, writhing in pain. I need to get away. I’ve got to get away. But I can’t.
I don’t want to do it, but I have to…

I some how get myself up. I’ve got bruises and cuts from the little fight that I aws just in.
After getting up, I look the person who tried beating me up right in the eyes. I look at his face.
Yes, it’s a he. I know what you’re thinking: what guy could ever go out of their way to hit a girl? Well, I’m no ordinary girl, and he’s no ordinary guy…
It’s Josh. Josh Brown.
He looks like he’s going to tackle me again, so I do what I have to do. I do what I didn’t want to do. I pull my knife out of my plaid pants.
“What are you gonna do now?” I ask him, trying to sound as tough as I can.
He looks like he’s going to cry now.
“You stole my car,” he says. “You deserve to pay the price.”
I laugh.
“I gave it back,” I reply.
Now he’s pointing his finger in my face, screaming with anger.
“I HOPE YOU DIE YOU LITTLE FUCKER,” He tells me. “YOU LITTLE CUNT! I HOPE YOU DIE AND GO TO HELL!!!”
Now, I’m the angry one.
He’s about to push me again. I take the knife and I stab him. I stab him right in the chest.
Everyone in the cafeteria is staring in amazement and astonishment. Mrs. Greyhound is doing lunch duty, but she’s in the bathroom. I bet she didn’t expect anything bad to happen, because nothing bad ever happens in this school. Sure, maybe a few kids go outside to smoke cigarettes, or maybe even weed, but nothing like this ever happens, and I don’t think they ever imagined it too either.
He falls down, lifeless.
I can’t believe I did that. I can’t believe it. A couple of tears slip out of my eyes.
Just yesterday, I was in love with him, but now I hate him. I hate him enough to kill him…
“I can’t believe you did that,” the guy who called me an emo freak before calls out to me from his table, laughing. “Maybe you’re not so bad, after all.”
“Wait, what?” I ask, totally out of confusion.
“Well, you know, he deserved it.” He tells me.
Now, I feel like killing him. I hold back all of my anger. I killed one person…that’s enough for me.
All of a sudden I hear a voice calling out from behind me.
It’s Mrs. Greyhound.
“What is going on here?” she asks, before noticing the dead body, shocked.
She always manages to keep a straight face, even when I did something as evil as killing someone, someone who I used to love.
“I killed him,” I say, my face staying straight too, until I finally let a tear drop from my eye.
“Go to the office,” she commands me, keeping her face straight and not saying a single other word.
I walk down the halls, with my head facing the ground. I don’t feel like looking anyone in the eye.
I go to the office. I think about not going, but then I realize that I deserve the consequences, so I keep walking.
I cry on my way there.

When I arrive, I see the principal staring at me with a look of shock and horror.
“So you killed him?” Mr Yorke the principal asks with a tone of absolute disbelief.
I reluctantly nod. I have to go through with this. I have to tell the truth, no matter what the risks are. I deserve the consequences.