Absolutely Hate You

"If you want anything just call Mac later okay?" my mom said. I groaned.

"Mom, why is he taking care of me. I can take care of myself. Please, don't make him come." I said with a hoarse voice.

"Anne, no one can take care of you. And last time you were sick and alone you passed out. It was very lucky that Mac came in the house to get supplies for his mother's lawn." My mom reminded.

"I was fourteen then, now I'm seventeen. I am more capable now." I said to her.

"No, I mean it. Goodbye, I love you. Understand that he's not that bad." My mom said about Mac.

"To you." I said under my breath.

"What?" She asked turning around raising an eyebrow. I pouted.

"Love you Anne, I'll try coming home a bit earlier." She said and kissed my forehead.

"Okay, love you too mom." I said crumbling into her love. She left and I was alone... for now.

You see about three years ago I was sick... like I was now. My mom had work and left me alone. I wanted food so I cooked some and because of being utterly dead I left... the fire on. I went into bed and didn't know anything. When I woke up my face was buried into Mac's chest. He was screaming something but I couldn't comprehend anything. All I remembered was his heart... it was beating so fast. It felt so nice.. I was in the hospital when I got my senses back. My mom was holding my hand really tightly.... that was the first time in a long time when I saw my mom's face like that... it held hope and then relief. Her face was really happy when I woke up. She rambled promises.. I'm laughing right now just remembering it. I love my mom, and seeing her like that three years ago showed me that she was still my mom... my loving mom. She told me the whole story so I knew for sure it was Mac.. she also told me he left three minutes before I awoke. I felt disappointed that he left. I shook my head and got a major migraine from it. I sighed... but that was three years ago. I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

I felt someone stroking my face and playing with my hair. I opened my eyes to see Mac's chest. He was so close to me, my heart skipped a beat.

"What are you doing?" I asked him. He jumped then got off the bed and then stood away from me.

"Oh, you're awake... I came to be your caretaker." He said smiling and scratched the back of his head.

"Oh. Okay." I said then turned the other way... I could hear him sit down. I couldn't sleep anymore... but I stayed still and it was as if I was asleep.

"You asleep?" I hear him ask. He sighed... and I hear him shuffling.

"You know... you look so peaceful right now. It's very attractive." He said. He then laughed lightly, "What am I saying... you're asleep.." He sighed once more. "I want to say something... hopefully.. you'll never hear this.." He said hesitant.. He went over to my bed.. I saw him wave his hands over my face but I did nothing but stayed in my position and my eyes closed. He cleared his throat... I felt his body compressed on the bed.

"I think I'm falling for you somehow.. I don't know. If it's the fights, the glares, or me teasing you and you getting angry.. I don't know. All I know is that... I like you." He said his voice cracking. It was then quiet for awhile... I still stayed quiet while clenching onto my blanket.

"I feel so nervous right now confessing this even though you're dead asleep." He said stuttering a bit.

"I feel so stupid." He went on. "I mean why do I feel this way? Just that one day seeing you run and you helping someone it made me feel so in love with you." He said.

"Am I utterly stupid for falling for you?" He questioned. "It's pathetic because you're the last person I ever thought I would ever like.." He said getting quiet. "I hope you never know this... maybe these feelings will just pass by." He said then got up and left the room. I laid there...

"Please let them pass by..." I whispered to myself.

I knew what I felt for him, and it was hate.... all those cold shrugs and cold stares. The massive yelling and hating.. I don't like him. I... can't like him.

I fell back asleep but this time... a tear fell down my cheek.