Snakebite Hearts & Bubblegum Smiles

Jack still hadn’t said a word to me when we got to the party later. We’d all walked as a group to Chase’s house and I wasn’t sure if it was just me being paranoid or if Jack really was making an effort to stay as far away from me as possible. When we reached the front door, I stepped forward and knocked. Moments later, Chase came out and immediately pulled me in for a hug before greeting everyone else. As we all filed in, I tried to wait for Jack to pass me so we could go in together, but he just walked by without pausing, leaving me in the doorway wondering how just this morning the two of us had been rolling around in pancake batter and now he could barely look at me.

“I’m really glad you came,” Chase said once I finally came inside.

“And miss this?” I replied, looking around. The little beach house was packed from wall to wall with people holding red plastic cups and cans of beer as music blared all around. The place had Ella written all over it.

“Can I get you anything? A drink?” he asked and I nodded, figuring I might as well try to have a good time despite Jack acting weird. I followed closely behind as Chase weaved through the crowd, stopping at a clearing in the kitchen, where an assortment of liquor bottles was set up on a table. He turned to me, smiling the way he had at the beach earlier. “What’ll it be?” I looked over the selection before me, hesitating for a moment. I’d never been a big drinker, but there was one thing that suddenly came to mind.

“Do you have any cranberry juice?” I asked. He nodded and got a huge jug from the fridge. I watched as his mixed it with Smirnoff and handed me a cup before going to make his own drink. I took a sip, a warm feeling rippling through me as I continued to gulp it down. This was the drink Ella made for me whenever she’d actually gotten me out of the house. It tasted a little stronger than what I was used to, but at the moment, I didn’t really care.

As the night went on, I was feeling more loose and free. The girls tore me away from Chase, who had been sticking close to my side the entire time, for a little while to dance and take a couple group pictures. Rian and Alex joined in soon after to photo bomb and snatch their girlfriends away, leaving just Brooke and me to dance with each other. I still didn’t know where Jack was, but the thought of him was sliding to the back of my mind with every drink. I was having a good time and I didn’t want his weirdness to ruin it for me. Eventually Chase found me again and Brooke excused herself to see what the rest of the guys were doing.

“You look like you’re having fun,” Chase said, smiling down at me as I continued to move to the music.

“Oh yeah?”

He bit his lip, glancing over his shoulder. “You want to get out of here?”

I started to laugh, though I wasn’t sure why. “I guess so!” His smile grew and he took my hand, taking me out of the living room and down the hall where it was darker and less crowded. I squinted my eyes as a sudden burst of light came from an opening door, a group of three girls emerging from it, hurrying back to the party. As soon as they were gone, Chase grabbed it and motioned for me to go inside, so I did. “Why are we in the bathroom?” I asked.

“It’s quieter in here,” he said, closing the door. “More private.”

“Private?”

He stepped closer, taking my hands in his. “You’re so cute,” he whispered, sliding one hand up my arm, curling it around the back of my neck. Then he leaned in and kissed me. At first, I didn’t pull away, mostly because I was too stunned to do anything, but after his other hand slid up my shirt, I pushed him back. “What’s wrong?” he asked, coming closer again.

“Why don’t we just go back?” I said, feeling myself sobering up as his hands reached for my hips. “I want to dance.”

He moved me up against the wall, holding me in place so I felt like I couldn’t move. “I don’t want to dance.” Then he kissed me again, this time with more force. I tried to push him off me again, but he grabbed my hands and pinned them to my sides, his grip so strong it actually started to hurt.

“Stop!” I managed to get out the split second our mouths were apart. He ignored me, continuing to kiss me roughly while running one hand down my side and back up my shirt. As much as I kept trying, I couldn’t break out from his hold. Every time I tried to pry him off, he pushed me back into the wall or yanked on my hair to make me stop. “Please!” I tried again, tears filling my eyes. I couldn’t believe what was happening and I felt like there was no escape. But right when I was starting to feel hopeless, the door swung open—I guess he hadn’t thought to lock it—and my chest nearly exploded.

“Shit, sorry—what the fuck?” Jack stopped dead in the doorway, staring with his mouth slightly open when he saw me. With Chase distracted, I pushed him back against the sink and ran for the door, past Jack, through the mass of people in the hall, not stopping until I was outside, the cool night air hitting my face that was burning hot with fresh tears. I couldn’t see or even begin to think about what had just happened, so I just sat on the ground and continued to cry until my head was throbbing and I was coughing so much my throat felt like sandpaper.

“Jane?” I jumped at the sound of Jack’s voice. We stared at each other, neither of us moving or speaking. I wondered if he had come out to yell at me and get out everything he’d been holding in all night. I didn’t think I could handle that at the moment.

“It wasn’t what it looked like, I swear!” I blurted out, fresh tears forming in my eyes as the image of Chase pinning me up against the bathroom wall flashed in my mind.

“I know,” he said after a long pause. He stepped over the threshold, walked over to me, and gently pulled me into his arms. I felt myself let go, physically and emotionally, as I melted into him, sobbing into his chest. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, smoothing back my hair and holding me tighter.


“Good Morning.” I opened my eyes and found Zack staring down at me, looking thoroughly amused. “Did someone have a good time last night?” I sat up, brushing my hair back out of my face, and looked around the room. I was still in Jack’s bed, but he was gone, probably downstairs eating breakfast. After my little breakdown, he’d walked back to the house with me and offered to tuck me into bed, but I’d told him I didn’t want to be alone, so we went to his room and he lied down with me until I fell asleep.

“Loads,” I replied in a raspy voice. I didn’t feel like getting into how it actually was; no one else needed to know.

“Wow, you sound terrible. Do you want some water?” he asked and I nodded. He went out to the bathroom and came back moments later with a small Dixie cup filled with tap water. I mumbled a “thanks” as he handed it to me and tossed it back like it was a shot. “So you and Jack, huh?” he said, sitting down on his bed.

“Don’t give me that look, Zack. Nothing happened last night.”

“I’m not giving you a look,” he laughed and I just rolled my eyes, biting my lip to keep from smiling. “But if nothing happened, then why are you in his bed?”

I sighed, looking down at the empty cup in my hand, crushing it. I wasn’t really sure how to feel; what happened at the party just didn’t feel real. Sure I’d heard about girls getting assaulted tons of times at school and on the news, but it never seemed like something that would ever happen to someone like me. I was awkward and shy, not the kind of person who attracted much attention to themselves, and yet Chase had seen me. I could still picture it in my head; I could feel the way he’d kissed me so savagely, pushing me against the wall again and again until I stopped fighting back. It made me feel sick.

“You okay, Jane? You look like you’re going to throw up or something,” Zack said, his tone more serious.

“No, I’m good,” I told him and got out of bed. “Did you eat yet?”

He shook his head. “I was actually sent up to get you. Alex is making eggs.” I followed him down into the kitchen; Alex was by the stove, poking at the eggs with a spatula while everyone else, except for Brooke, sat at the table, waiting and looking half-dead.

“Jane! You’re alive!” Kara, who seemed to be the least hung over, smiled as I grabbed a plate. We were a little tight on space, so Jack scooted over in his seat, letting me share the other half with him. He didn’t say anything about the night before in front of the others, but reached down and gave my hand a gentle squeeze. Suppressing a smile, I squeezed back. After the food was ready and everyone had started to eat, Brooke stumbled in, her long hair clipped up, still wet from the shower.

“Morning Sunshine,” Zack greeted, earning a cold glare in his direction. “Aw, what’s wrong? Someone wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?” We all watched with curiosity as she grabbed a bowl from the cupboard and poured some Cheerios into it.

“Good morning everyone! Isn’t it just a perfectly wonderful day? It’s just oozing with awesomeness!” Brooke finally spoke, a big phony grin on her face. Something was off, I could tell.

“I know why she’s all cranky,” Lisa said. “She was having sexy time with her mysterious lover all night.” Brooke nearly on her cereal and everyone shot their heads up and stared at her.

“Mysterious lover?” Rian said sounding both shocked and a little impressed. “I never took you for the one-night-stand type of girl.”

“Shut up,” Brooke said, her voice cold. She didn’t seem to be as proud about it. “It was nothing.”

“That’s not what it looked like to me,” Lisa said in a singsong kind of voice. I noticed Brooke’s cheeks flare up and for a split second she actually looked embarrassed.

“Okay jerks,” Kara spoke up. “Time to lay off.”

“No it’s cool.” Brooke got up and tossed the rest of her cereal in the trash. “I’m not hungry anymore.” She turned and walked out of the room, the sound of feet bounding up the staircase following soon after. I waited a few minutes and then followed her up, stopping outside our door to knock.

“Brooke? Brooke, it’s me, Jane.” After a beat, I heard the knob click and the door opened.

“Hey,” she said, her back already turned toward me. She sounded like she’d been crying.

“You know everyone’s just giving you shit downstairs. It doesn’t mean anything.” She still hadn’t looked at me; she was too busy picking up clothes off the floor and fluffing up her pillow even though it looked perfectly fine to me.

“Yeah, it’s cool. I just wanted to get my life together up here. This room is such a mess!” She continued to tidy up even though there wasn’t that much work to do. Finally it got to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Brooke!” She stopped suddenly, turning to me with a look of surprise on her face. “What is going on with you? You’ve been acting so weird since you walked into breakfast.”

“I told you, it was nothing, I swear! I just hooked up with this guy at the party, but we’re never going to see each other again. It was a fling, it meant nothing!” Before I could say anything, there was a knock at the door and then the sound of Alex’s voice.

“Brooke, you in here?” I saw all the color drain from her face, her eyes wide with panic.

“Tell him I’m not here,” she whispered and dove into the closet just as Alex walked in. I would have started laughing if I hadn’t been so confused.

“Oh hey, Jane,” he said when he saw me, looking around the room as though he’d expected to find Brooke instead. “I thought I heard Brooke. She came up here didn’t she?”

I wasn’t sure what was going on, but I knew I couldn’t tell him where Brooke really was, and with her watching from the closet, I figured covering for her was the best possible option. “Sorry, Alex, I haven’t seen her. Maybe she went to the bathroom? Or to the beach?” He looked disappointed.

“Yeah maybe…”

Once he left, Brooke crawled out from the closet and sat crisscross on the floor. “Thanks for that.”

“Don’t thank me until you tell me what I just covered you for. Why don’t you want to talk to Alex?” We sat in silence for about five minutes, but I didn’t care, I just wanted to get to the bottom on this.

“Okay…I’ll tell you,” she said finally. “But this can’t leave this room. I mean it.”

“I won’t say a thing,” I promised and she nodded, looking extremely nervous.

“I kind of, um, hooked up with…” she started off, but began to mumble at the last part.

“What?”

She bit her lip, and then looked down, braiding the ends of her hair. I’d never seen her act like this before and it was starting to freak me out. “I slept with Alex last night.”