Life for Rent

“And if tonight my soul may find her peace in sleep, and sink in good oblivion, and in the morning wake like a new-opened flower then I have been dipped again in God, and new-created!”
(D.H. Lawrence)

So maybe I was that one person who loved to escape reality by searching comfort and protection in the cotton sheets of a bed. So maybe I was that one person who loved to escape each day and responsibilities by staying in my safe haven in the mornings deliberately. So maybe I was that one person who enjoyed the feeling of falling asleep and actually staying in that state for as long as I could. So what then? I was like this all my life, all my twenty eight years, and it was not something I would change, ever.

So maybe I had responsibilities that stretched far beyond the comfort of my bed and the state of unconsciousness, but that didn’t change the fact how I felt and what I felt was the best for me. I needed my sleep, I needed my state of nothingness consuming my being; I craved it each night and each morning. I was a sleep addict; I was a junkie for sleep. I was everything a person should not be and I was getting so much pleasure from a simple action such as sleeping. The smell of sheets, the sense of tiredness that would fade away in the morning, oh, how I loved these small little things.

My father always told me that I could sleep right through the day without anything disturbing me – that was the kind of sleeper I was. Nothing, absolutely nothing could wake me up, if of course I wanted to be awoken. But sometimes the little things gave me away and I found myself … disoriented.

There was a sudden movement behind me as I felt myself being dragged away from the unconsciousness state I was so blissful to be in. Something cold was tracing its fingers on my naked arm and I couldn’t help but shiver. Something was so wrong, so completely and utterly wrong, as I felt myself frowning when the sleep was slowly fading to the back of my mind.

I became aware of my surroundings and the feeling of disorientation increased until the final blow came – the feeling of rough lips and stubble covered the side of my neck and I opened my eyes just as the alarm bells went off in my mind.

The scream echoed throughout the room as I felt myself become paralyzed with fear, standing there at the side of the bed, hand squeezed on my heart, feeling it thumping in my ribcage violently. The figure on the bed I was just occupying started to move as I tried to get away from the intruder as fast as I could without stumbling over my own feet. What the hell was going on?

“The hell?” A rough voice asked as the room was embraced by a dim light. The figure on the bed became visible and I felt my eyes grow wide. There was a man in my bed, a half-naked stranger. My heart started to beat more violently with each breath I took, the ringing in my ears increased as I felt my feet drag me around the bed to make some space between myself and the intruder. God knows what he was trying to do to me … “Ko … Kas Tu esi?” (“What … Who are you?”) My voice asked shakily as I tried so hard to get away from the stranger, the panic slowly taking over my form.

“The hell is wrong with you?” the stranger hissed in return as I furrowed my brow in confusion still feeling the rush of fear running through my body. Why was he speaking English? What the hell was going on in here?

I tried to gulp down the tangle of uneasiness in my throat, but found it hard to do. I felt so disoriented and it didn’t help the fact that my surroundings were … slightly different than I remembered them being. I was not in my bedroom, of that I was sure.

“Where … Where am I?” I asked my voice coarse as I whipped my head around, trying hard to recognize my surroundings. The tongue I spoke was so foreign to me and I felt like this was some sick, twisted dream I couldn’t wake up from. The figure on the bed moved in its place as he yanked of the sheet covering his body and stood up preparing to leave the bed. I felt panic wash over my form once again as I was preparing myself for the worst to come, when the figure simply walked past me, sending me a look of annoyance, “have you been drinking?”

Not even bothering to hear my answer, the stranger disappeared behind a door with a loud click echoing through the room, leaving me all by myself. I exhaled feeling a bit safe before the confusion kicked in once again. Where the hell was I?

* * *

After what seemed like forever I found myself sitting on the bed, which I discovered was not mine also, surprisingly. Everything in the dimly lighted room was not mine and I tried so hard to understand where I was. I didn’t remember myself getting drunk last night; I didn’t remember myself drinking either. The last thing I remembered was passing out on my bed, in my room right after I called …

My eyes grew wide as the idea came to my mind. Phone, I needed a phone! I whipped my head around to find the thing I was searching and smiled contently as I spotted a black, sleek object that could be just what I was looking for, laying on the end table right beside the bed. Maybe I’ll finally get some answers.

I tried to tip-toe to the end table as quiet as I possibly could. From the running water I learned that the other room where the stranger had disappeared minutes ago was actually a bathroom so I had some time to think this all through before I would get caught. God knows what he would do to me now when I was awake. I knew I was exaggerating, but I had my reasons to – I usually do not wake up in an unfamiliar bed with a stranger kissing me … Hell, what would Janis say if he knew? And what happened? Did I hook up with some random stranger last night, drank so much that I couldn’t remember anything and maybe, just maybe I cheated on my fiancée. Oh God … The only thing I was thankful for was the fact that I had clothes on, if I could even call that a clothing – a skimpy lace panties, that barely covered anything and almost a see-through top that I would never ever, ever wear if I had some common sense which I apparently didn’t have if I was dressed like that.

I picked up the strange object and gazed down on it my eyes widening in surprise and a scream flying past my lips for the second time as the sleek object fell to the floor with a loud “thump”. My heart was racing violently once again as the ringing in my ears increased with every breath I tried to take in. It was not happening, it was not … Oh my God!

Mirror, I needed a mirror! I whipped my head around trying to find a mirror. There had to be a mirror in this freaking room! What kind of a strange dream was this when everything seemed so real?

The door to the bathroom opened and I stopped in my tracks the air escaping my lungs as the paralyzing stillness came over me. The stranger came out of the room a dark towel covering his wet form as he looked at me with confusion written all over his face. “What the hell is wrong with you?” he demanded his voice strict as his eyes pierced my flesh. The fear spread through me as I felt slight waves of nausea washing over my body – I couldn’t speak, my mouth was open but no words came out … It was like I lost my ability to speak.

And once again, the stranger didn’t wait for my answer. Instead he rolled his dark eyes and crossed the room to enter what I assumed was a walk-in closet. I let out a sigh trying hard to relax, but then the image I saw before in the reflection came back to my mind as my eyes widened. I glanced at the closet and ran into the bathroom as fast as I could, shutting the door behind me and pressing my back against the solid wood.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on steadying my breathing – the dream was too real for my liking and it was too much to take in. The fear and the confusion mixed together and I felt my mind go wild with all the thoughts and questions running through it. The image …

I held my breath as I saw the full height mirror at the end of the room. Curious and still feeling the panic racing through my body, I let my feet drag me to the moment of truth. I closed my eyes and stepped closer to the mirror breathing heavily. This was it …

I opened my eyes and took in my reflection as a cold dread washed over my form. There I was … Standing in the reflection, my whole form pale and frightened, lips white as a ghost. No, I stumbled back looking as the reflection mimicked all my actions perfectly. It could not be me … It wasn’t me … The stranger looking back in the reflection was not me, it couldn’t be!

My hair … my hair was straight and in a color of dark blond, cut short just reaching my chin. My eyes … a color I didn’t recognize as my own – so dark, so unfamiliar. And my whole body – a sun-kissed tan spreading all over my … full breasts and … a well-shaped stomach that was covered with the pathetic excuse of an outfit … The hell was going on in here?

I traced my perfectly manicured fingers over my face, leaning into the mirror to see if what I saw was some twisted kind of joke, but … the skin beneath my touch was real … The whole body was real and I was in it …

The woman standing in front of me in the mirror was not real, it was certainly not me. I would never dye my hair that light, let alone straighten it … And my eyes … I had green eyes with a hint of gold surrounding my pupils, but now they were brown … My breasts, they were not this big … they are not supposed to be this … huge. And what the hell was that shining thing in my belly … I had a piercing? I gazed upon my reflection, my eyes surprised as I touched the shining object … Since when did I have a piercing?

“Are you okay in there?” I jumped in my place as the voice rang outside the door knocking on it violently. “Yeah,” I shouted in return. “I’m fine …”
The voice seemed to hear me perfectly as there was no repeat in the knocking and I exhaled feeling slightly better …

I glanced at my reflection once again and tried to understand how could I possibly be this person I saw myself being.

* * *

When I opened the door to the bedroom I found that the man was gone so that gave me plenty of space to get acquainted to the place I woke up in. The room was big and held a hint of coldness to it – there was not many objects in this room apart from the basic furniture, of course. There was no hint of coziness in this place and suddenly a feeling of yearning washed over my form – I missed my bedroom, my creamy colored walls that were covered in various paintings, photos and posters. I missed my large, white bed with white cotton sheets instead of these silky-like dark pieces of … whatever these things were. I missed my curtains and my things – my things that made the place so unique and so me. Instead I was met with a raw coldness and emptiness the persons living in here called a bedroom.

What kind of a bedroom was this? And who in their rightful minds would enjoy being here without getting depressed? The whole atmosphere screamed of frigidity.
I shook my head and slowly walked towards the closet I saw the man entering earlier. Finding the light switch I lighted up the room and took in my surroundings. The closet was about the half size of the bedroom filled with racks of clothing and white colored wooden drawers. The floor was covered in white carpet which was surprisingly soft against my bare foot.

There were woman’s clothing on one side and men’s clothing on the opposite side. I let my fingers trace every cloth on my way as I took in the colors of each piece – white, black, nude, some colorful items, but most of all it was all too dull for my liking. I took out a random hanger with a white cloth on it and my eyes grew wide – it was a baby doll dress, if one could call it a dress. The cloth was so small I had to think twice if it was actually a piece that the woman would wear. Maybe a child, but after noticing the details of it I realized that I would never allow my child to wear something like that. It wasn’t too horrible, but … It wasn’t good either – too skimpy and uncomfortable for my liking.

I placed the hanger back in its place and tip-toed to the drawer section letting my fingers embrace the knob pulling it gently. The content of it made my eyes widen – a drawer full of what I assumed was some sort of underwear and by some sort I meant skimpy, skanky pieces that barely covered anything. Who would wear a pathetic excuse of a thong, no, not a thong – it was a piece of fabric on a strand. A thong was nothing compared to the pieces I felt my fingers brush against.

I roamed through the drawer trying to find something that I could call a normal kind of panties that wouldn’t get into my butt, but could actually cover it the way underwear should. After a while of searching through the drawer I found a decent kind of underwear and a matching bra that was supposed to hold my new breasts in their rightful places. The bra drawer surprised me too and not in a pleasant way because the person whose body I was occupying had a habit of pushing her breasts up in a painful way with an underwear that was a size or even two too small. How could she even fit in it all? I had to get some new clothes because God only knew how long I was trapped in this reality I still thought was a sickly twisted dream.

After an attempt of picking out the right clothes to cover my new body I gave up on random choosing and went through every hanger in search of a decent something, anything that wouldn’t scream “slut”, so I picked a lavender colored dress which was hanging in the far end of the room. I wasn’t even surprised why the peace of clothing was hidden so far away, hell, I was more surprised that this kind of dress was actually in the closet. With all the pieces the whole closet was filled with I found it kind of surprising that a sleeveless dress that actually covered my butt and reached my knees without any obnoxious cuts was in this closet. It was beautiful to say the least and it fit me perfectly on my new body hugging the curves in all the right places. It was also polite and didn’t show any unnecessary nudity which I was pretty content of.

The shoes was what surprised me in a good way – the woman had a taste in shoes that I had to admit because there were a lot of heels in the closet in every color a woman could imagine. The only thing I wasn’t so sure about was the comfort of them – they were too high for my liking, but I let that thought slide. It wasn’t every day I had a closet filled with shoes I could only dream about having.

After taking my time and finding matching shoes I settled on black pumps that were the lowest ones I could find and yet the heels were still too high for me. The person whose closet I was roaming through wore heels daily because those were the only shoes that were here.

Another thing I learned was that I was probably in somewhere warm because of all the pumps, stilettos, sandals and opened-toed shoes. That was good thing I supposed because the last thing I needed was ending up in a place where the sun didn’t even exist. On the other hand the realization of the fact that I was indeed somewhere warm scarred me even more because last thing I remembered before awakening to this nightmare was a snowstorm behind my window. I gulped down the uneasiness in my throat and switched the light off preparing to head out of the cold bedroom.

* * *

The house was huge, really huge and judging by the palm trees and a summer vibe outside I was indeed somewhere warm; unless, of course, the snowstorm had the ability to turn into summer after a few hours. Maybe, just maybe I was wrong.

I traced the hallway absentmindedly listening for any unknown sounds and trying to recognize anything about the place I was in, but no luck – surprise, surprise. This was the first time I was in a house like this – it screamed of money and coldness once again. I felt myself growing uneasy with every step I made as the heels made a loud sound of “click” on the wooden floor beneath my feet.

As I approached the stairs I heard unknown voices coming from the lower floor so I tried to step down as quiet as I could, but, of course, the heels were never known for their quietness. It didn’t help the slightest that I felt really stupid in heels – my new body didn’t come with the ability to actually walk in them. It seemed that the skill the previous host of the body took the gift of walking in these killer-shoes with her, wherever she was. Bastard.

Finally making it down the steps safely I exhaled loudly as I straightened out my dress. I noticed silence surrounding me as I looked up at the unfamiliar faces that were watching my every move.

There were three men and a woman – two of them sitting at the bar stool by the counter and the stranger I woke up in the same bed, behind it. The woman sat beside my stranger a look of curiosity written all over her face.

“Umm …” was the only thing that managed to come past my lips as I felt myself grow uneasy with all the stares they gave me. They were strangers after all and it didn’t help the fact that they were indeed staring. “Good morning …” I said forcing a friendly smile, but they saw past my attempts as they started to chat once again completely ignoring me.

I furrowed my brow in confusion as I tried to understand what I did wrong. Maybe they saw the way I stumbled down the stairs, although that was not possible because the stairs were behind the wall … Maybe they heard it and thought I was an elephant marching down, but they would surely say something. Maybe there was something on my face, but I remember my reflection perfectly as I finished with putting mascara on – it was the only make up I needed to help me somewhat blend in. With all the make-up tools I found in the bathroom’s drawer I realized that my host was in fact addicted to making her face look like a birthday cake.

I tried to walk inside the kitchen without stumbling over my own feet and without causing a scene. So when I reached the fridge I smiled lightly at the small accomplishment I made – there were no broken bones so far. I opened the fridge and tried to find something I could fill my growling stomach with when suddenly a voice behind me made me jump in my place. “What are you doing?”

I whipped my head around and looked at the stranger I shared the same bed with earlier. He was standing a few feet away leaning against the counter his large arms crossed over his chest as a look of disbelief written all over his face. “Umm … making myself some breakfast,” I replied my tone slightly shaking.

He looked at me like I was crazy, but didn’t say anything.
“Would … would you like some omelette?” I asked the strangers that were occupying the room. There was no answer, but their silent stares pierced through me as I felt like I did something wrong once again. Maybe … maybe they didn’t eat breakfast and I was offending them by asking?

The men sitting on the opposite side of the counter snorted as he took his glass of juice and drank it all empty. “Well, this is fun,” he said after placing the empty glass on the counter, “but … no matter how entertaining you can be,” he said looking at me his tone carrying a slight trace of sarcasm to it, “I have places to be and things to do.” And with that he stood up and walked out of the room without a second glance.

The man sitting beside him, his face covered in beard and moustache and his dark hair gathered in a low ponytail didn’t say a word as he stood up from his place and left after the men looking at me with unreadable expression.

What the hell was going on?
I looked back at the two remaining figures as the men was still staring at me trying to figure something out before he gave up and sighed leaving after the two men before him. There was something seriously wrong about this whole nightmare. Why couldn’t I wake up like a normal person? What was I even doing here and how did I end up in here?

I noticed a movement from the corner of my eyes and looked up at the woman sitting at the counter her eyes never leaving my form. I tried to place her in my memory, but without any luck, of course, because nothing about this place and these people seemed familiar.

I sighed and proceeded in making myself breakfast. No matter where I was and how everything seemed to be twisted I needed to have my breakfast and an omelette was something I was craving for this morning. The large refrigerator was filled with different kind of food, which majority of I noticed was vegetables. The strangers were vegetarians?

“You never eat breakfast,” the voice behind me spoke as I looked around at the woman still sitting at the counter and nursing her white mug that was steaming with hot liquid. “Oh,” I said trying to think of something to say, but she beat me to it. “What’s wrong with your eyes?” She asked and I brought my fingers to my face as confusion washed over my form. “What’s wrong with them?”

“The color … Are you wearing lenses?” She asked as I shook my head still feeling confused. “Yeah,” I replied. “Yeah, I’m wearing lenses.” I needed to get to the bathroom to see what she was talking about, but leaving now when she asked me about my eyes would cause suspicion ant that was the last thing I needed.

“You act weird,” the woman continued as I roamed through the drawers and cabinets, trying to find a bowl and a fork to mix all the ingredients for my omelette. “Why would you say that?” I asked looking at her amused face. “Well, for starters you do not bitch at me, but we are actually having a decent conversation,” she pointed out taking a sip of her white mug. “And you offered me a breakfast – something you do not eat and something you most definitely do not offer me any time and any place.” She said with a smirk covering her lips as she held the white mug in her fingers.

I gulped the feeling of uneasiness I my throat as I felt the coldness mixed with fear washing over my form before she opened her plump lips once again placing the mug down on the counter. “If you’re trying to actually be nice to me then I suggest you to stop wasting your time because I know you and your kind, and just because you are married to Shannon doesn’t mean that I have to like you, which is the last thing I want and would do. So stop trying it won’t get you far – it hasn’t before and it most certainly won’t in the future.” And with that she stood up crossed her arms over her small chest and looked at me like I was some piece of dirt under her shoes.

I tried to understand what just happened as I was left in the kitchen with silence surrounding me. The idea of making breakfast was soon forgotten as I felt my eyes burn with unshed tears. For the millionth time I was wondering how could things be so strange and so twisted. I have never met these people before and I sure haven’t had the time to do anything wrong so why I was feeling like crying if I wasn’t even at fault here?

Maybe there was something going between the host of my body and this household that got me in this situation. And I was married? If so, where was the ring and why wasn’t it on my ring finger? There were so many questions I wanted to ask, but it seemed like there were no answers. At least I couldn’t answer them because all the memories of this life of this sick reality have faded with the soul that was previously occupying this body.

Suddenly I felt the longing for my own life, for my previous reality that seemed so much brighter than this. I missed my friends and their faces, I missed my fiancée who I was due to marry in two months, I missed my clothing and shoes and most of all I missed my apartment and not this cold house I was currently in.

I was trying hard not to let the tears out in fear of someone walking in on me. Somehow I realized that this person I was supposed to be didn’t cry that often and if she did then she would never show the tears in public. That maybe was the only thing that we had in common.

A sudden ring throughout the house made me jump in my place as I whipped my form around trying to understand where the ringing came from. It wasn’t a phone, of that I was sure, so it sounded more like a … door bell.

I walked through the hallway to the large white wooden door and peered through the window that was positioned on the side of the door. A female figure waved at me enthusiastically and I assumed that we were acquainted so I opened the door and was met by a beaming face of a … bimbo. “Hi Doll,” she squeaked in her high-pitched voice. There was no need to understand or place her in my mind – I didn’t know her, well, personally, so I let her throw her hands sneak around me and squeeze me tightly to her form. She smelled nice, well, her perfume smelled nice and judging by the friendly gesture she was my friend of some sorts.

My parents always thought me to not judge a book by its cover so I didn’t judge the girl standing in front of me by her … skanky look. Instead I tried so hard to keep my eyes off of her breasts that were pushed up and falling out of her pathetic excuse of a tank top. She had a skinny shorts on and some sneakers showing off her perfectly tanned and shaped long legs. Her hair was blond and I found myself liking the color, it suited her and her baby smooth face with blue eyes that were embraced by long eyelashes. She was good looking, no doubt, but if she would wear a bit less make up and dressed properly then the words “bimbo” and “skank” would not come into my mind as the first associations with the person. She was a lady after all and maybe, just maybe it was not her fault that she didn’t think twice or maybe thought too much about her appearance.

“You look,” she raised her perfectly shaped eyebrow as her eyes roamed over my form. “Nice … Haven’t seen that dress in ages.” And with that she passed me by. “Thanks,” I said closing the door behind me. I followed her into the kitchen as she went straight to the fridge taking out a bottle of water out of the freezer.

“Are you okay?” She looked at me taking off the cap from the bottle and took a small sip before closing it once again. “Yeah, why?” I asked in confusion.
“Your voice is weird … and you have an … accent?” She asked shrugging.

“Oh,” I said avoiding her gaze and straightening my dress absentmindedly. I was nervous to say the least. She probably knew me inside and out and here I was being all not how I was supposed to be. “Not to mention your eye color and the things you wear. Are you feeling alright?” She placed the bottle on the counter and stepped towards me. I stumbled back trying to get some space between us as her blue eyes bore themselves into my form. She was studying me and I felt panic creeping in my mind. What if she saw past me? What if I gave myself out?

“Oh, look who’s here!?” A voice rang through the kitchen as the girl before me sighed annoyingly rolling her eyes at the newcomer. “Jared,” she said through gritted teeth letting a fake smile grace her plump, nude lips.

I felt like I have been caught in a battle field. The tension between the two was too much for me to bear and I didn’t even notice when the two started to argue throwing profanities at each other like there was no tomorrow. The ringing in my ears increased as I placed my hand on the counter trying hard to not pass out from all the emotions suffocating me. I wanted to wake up and never come back to this place. Please …

“Will the both of you just shut up?” A loud voice echoed through the room as I opened my eyes and looked at the stranger that was standing there, his arms crossed over his chest and his dark eyes looking deathly at them both. He held an authority in his form as I felt the shiver run down my spine and the fear kicking in. I couldn’t believe I shared a bed with him barely an hour ago; he looked so intimidating and menacing.

In my state of fear I somehow managed to take the stranger in without him noticing. He was well built – the muscles were the sign of it as a colorful tattoo was covering the right side of his upper arm. He was also very handsome and if he wouldn’t act so annoyed around me I would feel a bit self-consciousness if he would look at me with those dark eyes of his. He also had a shortly cut dark hair and a small stubble covering his face. He was wearing a shirt that was cut in the sides making his perfectly built body show more beneath the clothing and some pants that were hanging low. The thing that made me smile was that he was barefooted – a sight that was pretty amusing for my twisted mind.

He threw me a menacing look as I straightened my composure the signs of previous amusement whipped away from my face and from my mind. The way he looked at me made me want to disappear and never come back. He was so angry and I felt guilty to even smile. “Go do your shit, Laura,” he addressed me his voice stern. “And take your friend with you. I don’t need to hear any shouting under my roof.” And with that he left not even bothering to see if I did what I was told. From the looks of it he probably knew that I wouldn’t disobey, I was too afraid of him.