Her Best Friend

“Lula, dinner!” Olivia called, it was the next evening. Olivia still hadn’t managed to get the crib up, she was very close to burning the thing. Lula appeared at the kitchen doorway, making Olivia jump slightly, she was so quiet, you can never hear her go anywhere. Seconds later, they were both sitting, in front of the TV, eating pasta, which had been chopped up for Lula, and Olivia was hardly eating at all.
They were silent as they ate, but neither of them minded, as they watched the children’s programme. The sirens of Police were heard outside, the random shouting of drunks nearby, it was the typical noise of London. It was Thursday evening, and normally Olivia would be out with friends, having a drink, and generally having a good time. When Anna died, everything changed.
At moments like these, Olivia was on auto-pilot, where her body seemed to just take over her mind and basically say “It’s okay, we get it….we’ll take over from here.” And then just somehow manage to get Olivia up in the morning, and to sleep, somewhat at night. She felt numb, that’s how she could explain it. She felt numb now, she knew that later she wouldn’t and that heart-piercing pain, that pain that makes Olivia gasp for hair, that pain would shortly be back again.
If only you understood this, the pain she was feeling. Olivia was in agony, literal mental agony. Her best friend, the one girl that was always there, the one she bloody adored, and admired, and couldn’t get enough of. She’s dead. Buried in the ground, never to be seen again. Olivia knew that Anna would want her to stop mourning, and to go out and enjoy life, Olivia however, didn’t see the point in enjoying life if Anna wasn’t there.
“Done.” Lula’s angelic voice broke the tense silence, and Olivia smiled quickly, just so she wouldn’t cry. Olivia took Lula’s finishing of her meal as the excuse to abandon hers, and takes both plates into the kitchen.
“Time for a bath Tallulah.” Olivia called, and she heard Lula turned the television up.
“Lula…” Olivia groaned, going back into the living room. Lula was nowhere to be seen.
“Lula, stop hiding.-“ Olivia stopped talking, as two tiny feet were hiding behind the curtain. Olivia strolled over, and pulled back the curtain. Lula roared, imitating a lion, and tackled Olivia’s leg, this adorable scene made Olivia smile, a small yet a genuine smile. Lula giggled, and she didn’t know why. Olivia couldn’t help enjoy the rush of warmth she got in her stomach as she heard Lula laugh.
“Bath time babe…” Olivia said and Lula pouted.
“I don’t want a bath!” Lula declared, as if it would make a difference. Olivia bent down to her level, giving a gentle smile.
“Lula, if you don’t have a bath and you’ll be a smelly girl, you want to be smelly girl?” Olivia teased.
“Yeah.” Lula replied, cheekily and gave a grin.
Olivia rolled her eyes, and picked Lula up with ease. “Too bad, I don’t want a smelly girl….” Olivia joked, and carried Lula, who shouted for help, into the bathroom. However, once in the bath, Lula loved it. She loved splashing Aunt Liv, she loved washing ‘Ducky’ s” head, and she also loved Olivia washing her hair, it felt so nice.
“Mummy use to sing…” Lula spoke quietly, as Olivia massaged Johnson’s baby shampoo in Lula’s, lusciously, thick curls. Olivia stopped for a moment, proceeding thoughts.
“What did she sing to you?” Olivia asked quietly, a picture of Anna in her head. Lula gave a smile, that reminded Olivia more of Anna if possible.
“Hallelujah….” Obviously, Lula didn’t pronounce this properly, but Olivia just about managed to figure it out. Olivia smiled when she understood, because that would be a song Anna would sing.
“I heard there was a secret code that David played that pleased the lord, you don’t really care for music do ya? It goes like this, the fourth, the sixth…” Olivia sang softly, and noticed as Lula shut her eyes, enjoying every moment.
Olivia sang reasonably, and washed the little girl’s hair along the way. Once bath time was over, and Lula was dressed in her pyjamas, Olivia softly dried her hair with a towel, once it was almost practical dry; Olivia said that Lula should sleep with her until they could get the crib up. Tucking her in slowly, and planting a sweet kiss on her warm head, Olivia watch as almost instantly, the girl’s eyes fluttered asleep, off to a peaceful sleep full of dreams. Olivia crept back into the kitchen, and made herself a cup of coffee, but when she realized she had no coffee left, she went to the fridge and got out the bottle of white wine, which she had brought four days ago.

Pouring herself a generous glass, Olivia went back into the living room, and stubbed her toe on one of Lula’s toys, whispering a profanity, and kicked the plastic thing to the side, and then sunk into her sofa, she switched the TV off, sick of seeing that children’s presenter’s face. Olivia sighed, before sipping a large amount of alcohol, and sighed afterwards.
It was quiet now, and Olivia was embraced by the usual feeling of loneliness, by this time of night, Olivia would ring Anna, and they would talk for as long as they wanted, simply because they could. Olivia couldn’t do that though, so instead picked up the phone and dialled another familiar number, it wasn’t too late, so she knew they’d still be awake.

“Hello?” the tired voice of Olivia’s father came through.
“Hi Dad.” Olivia said quietly, biting the tip of her thumb.
“Livvy, darling…are you alright, you’re mother told me of what happened. I support you entirely Liv, I’m always here for you.” Her father, Ted said warmly. Olivia and her father always had a close relationship and it was due to Ted’s faithfulness, and support.
“Thanks Dad, that means a lot.” Olivia replied, smiling weakly.
“Anytime you need a babysitter, just call darling…” this made Olivia chuckle humourlessly, but her father didn’t know that.
“How are you Dad?” Olivia asked, and there was silence on the other end.
“I think that question should be directed at you, my darling.” Ted replied softly.
Olivia sipped her wine and answered. “Not good Dad.” She said honestly, and Ted couldn’t answer.

“It will get better Livvy, the pain will weaken.” Ted said wisely, after a few minutes of silence passed.

“Just weaken?” Olivia asked, her voice was tired, and weak.
“I’m afraid so Liv, losing your best friend is a pain that never fully goes away.” Ted replied, he understood her pain. 16 years ago, when Olivia was only just three years old, Ted lost his older brother, Peter to lung cancer. Peter was his best friend, as well as his older, idolized brother. Ted was torn apart, and even now, wasn’t over it.
“I miss her Dad, so much.” Olivia said, her throat aching again.

“I know darling, I miss her too. She was such a wonderful girl.” Ted said fondly, he treated Anna like his own daughter, because she had missed out on her own.
Olivia sniffed gently. “Is Mum there?” she suddenly said, she hadn’t spoken to a mother in a
few days, and now she had calmed down, the guilt settled in and she readY to apologize.

“I’m afraid not Livvy, she and your brother have gone out somewhere secret. Not even I know.” Olivia nodded, despite the fact she was on the phone. Her older brother, Eddie was 24 years old, he worked in accountancy, but unlike others, he really did love it. He loved solving numbers, it was just his thing. Eddie has a girlfriend called Jasmine, she’s completely adorable and too good for him, or so Olivia thought. Eddie and Olivia had a distant relationship up until she reached 12, and Eddie was 17 and suddenly he became protective of her, it was an odd thing. Eddie and Olivia began to hang up more, because Eddie could drive. They soon became close friends as well as siblings, now that they were much older, their relationship hadn’t strained, yet lately it had been strained again but under the circumstances it was understandable. She hadn’t seen her brother since Anna’s funeral, and that was her own fault.

“Ah, okay then…will you tell her I called, I owe her an apology.” Olivia said, wishing her father was here, so she could hug him.
“I think she owes you one too, I’ll tell her you called darling.” Ted replied warmly.
“I love you millions, you know that right Dad?” Olivia blurted out, she yearned for his fatherly hugs. This was their little thing, the ‘millions bit’
“Course I do Liv, and I love you millions too.” Ted replied softly, and he wished he could see his breaking daughter.
“Come see me soon Livvy.” He said, not in a demand nor in a spiteful tone, but in a way that Olivia wanted to run over there now.
“I will, Goodnight.” Olivia promised.
“Goodnight darling.” Ted replied, and they both hung up.

Olivia drank the rest of her wine in silence, thinking of Anna, thinking on how she was going to do this. She wished desperately, so desperately she would do anything, to just turn back the clock to two months ago, and tell her best friend to not get in the car.
Olivia didn’t sleep that night. She lay awake, staring at the ceiling, the kitchen tap was dripping, Lula was gentle snoring, and moving around, and the boiler was making odd, cranky noises. Olivia blinked; she swore she could hear herself blink. Her heart rate was normal, pulsing in beat, and her breathing was soft, yet inside, her heart felt like it literally hurt, and her stomach was empty, she felt sick, and dizzy and exhausted.

The alarm clock, with huge red digital numbers taunted her, as each hour passed. Finally, at six o clock, she drifted off to a mindless sleep, but was only to be woken again by half past six by Lula.

“Aunty Liv….I wet the bed.” Lula confessed, tears in her eyes. Olivia woke up properly then, and stared at the ceiling, sighing. She could it was going to be a long day.