Keep Me Close

“Should I wear the blue shirt with the grey cardigan or the green shirt with the black tie?” Benjamin fretted, standing in front of the full length mirror with both combinations on hangers in his hands. I laughed at him from where I was standing in the closet, buttoning up my plaid shirt. “Don’t laugh Jeffrey! I really need your help here. I want to make a good impression on your family.”

“Benji?” I asked softly. “Come here please.”

“What?” he asked, looking down at the options in his hands. “Neither of them, right? I knew it. They’re both horrible.”

“Benjamin fucking Ethridge, come here,” I said forcefully, chuckling afterwards. He snapped out of his freaked mindset and walked towards me.

“Yeah?”

I put my hands on the side of his face and pulled him in for a short reassuring kiss. “You could show up in a trash bag and they’d love you either way. Plus, it’s not like you haven’t met them a gazillion times before anyways. You’re already one of their favorite people,”

“I know, but – “

“No. Don’t even try to argue, Benji. I'm right and you know it,” I smirked, kissing him again.

“You know?” he smiled, seeming to drop some of his nervousness. “I love it when you call me Benji.”

“Yeah, well I love it when you turn into the girl of the relationship; however fleeting those moments are,”

“I am not acting like the girl right now,” he pouted.

“You totally were. But if you keep that lip out there like that, someone might get it,”

“Oh, we’ve already been through this one,” he laughed, referring to the time he told me that in the skate park.

“See? It’s cute when you’re being a little girly pissy-pants,”

“I disagree,”

“You can disagree all you want,” I laughed. I reached into the closet and pulled out two articles of clothing; a cement grey button up shirt and a black pull over sweater. “Now here, wear this. You’ll look great and you’ll make a wonderful gazillionth impression on my family.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” he gushed, taking the hangers out of my hands and running to the mirror. “Ooh! Almost forgot.”

“Almost forgot wha – ?” I started to ask, getting cut off by Benjamin running back towards me and giving me a huge kiss.

“Love you,” he smiled.

“Right back at-cha, baby-cakes,” I chuckled, knowing he’d blush at the pet name.



“Oh Benjamin, it’s so nice to see you again! It’s been forever since I've seen you. Since any of us have seen you! How the hell are you?” my mother gushed as soon as she spotted us in her doorway. She ran straight towards us with arms wide open, ready for hugs.

“I'm doing great Michelle. How are you?” Benjamin smiled like the perfect boyfriend. Of course, he was always like that, even when we were just friends back in high school. He was always the kind of guy you would love to bring home to your parents because he was always the perfect gentlemen. Parents loved to love him and mine were never an exception. They loved him from the moment he’d stepped over the threshold of our house.

“Oh I'm just wonderful now that my two favorite boys are here. I just knew you two would end up together at some point. What took you so god-damned long?”

“Oh mom,” he chuckled, shaking his head. He’s called her mom for years and she never once corrected him for it.

“Come on Ma,” I laughed. She was the most laid back mother I have ever met and growing up, she was always the cool one out of my group of friends. Of course, I guess she still is pretty cool for being in her 50’s.

“What? It was inevitable; bound to happen one of these days.”

“Mom, I didn’t even know I was gay until after high school.” Believe it or not, I really didn’t find out for sure that I was gay for a long time. I mean, I've always been a slightly feminine guy and people have always thought I was gay, but I only figured it out for myself during my first year of college.

“You may not have, but I've known since you were 12,”

“You couldn’t have, I don’t know, told me and have made it easier on me?”

“Well why on Earth would I want to make it easier on you?” she asked sarcastically. “But no, honey, that was your thing to figure out. On your own. Nobody needed to help you with that.”

“Alright, alright, let’s just get inside and eat or whatever,” I chuckled, dismissing my sappy, crazy-ass mother. “What did you make?”

“Well, your sister came out early this morning and she and I kind of went bonkers on the food.”

“Holy shit, yeah, I guess you did,” I laughed, looking at the dining room table and what little space was left on it. “There are five of us; what in the hell are we going to do with all of this food?”

“Well, you two are obviously taking some home,” she shrugged, as if she had thought of that already, which she probably did. “You know you always leave here well fed, Jeffrey.”

“Yeah, for the next year,” Benjamin laughed. It really surprised me how little he was talking so far, and really, how much of a girl he was being about the whole situation. He genuinely was worried about what kind of impression he would make as my boyfriend. It was actually quite comical – to me at least. Benjamin has never been the kind of guy that would be afraid meeting someone’s parents, and I've never known of him to do it before now. And he wasn’t even meeting them; he’s known them for years. This was just his first encounter with them as my boyfriend. Needless-to-say, he was very out of character for the beginning of the night. After a while of being with my family again, though, he became more like himself, which was greatly appreciated.

Once he calmed down, the rest of the night went perfectly fine, exactly like I’d told Benjamin it would have. It was a little odd at some points though, mostly because of my mother’s crazy. Once, she made Benjamin and I kiss in order to be allowed to get something else to drink. I swear that woman is my number one fag hag. She was absolutely elated when I came out, she was more upset about my breakups than me more times than not, and she wanted to hear all about my first time. I didn’t tell her about it, of course. That would be far too awkward. But still, the woman is beyond supportive, which is great to an extent, and can sometimes be really weird about it all.

We definitely went home with enough food to last us at least a month. I honestly don’t know if it would all still be edible by the time we could finish it all. Once we put everything away, we decided to lie in bed and watch TV for a while before actually going to sleep. Ironically enough, Doctor Who was on again. After the night we got together, Doctor Who kind of became “our show” like some couples have “songs”.

Benjamin was leaning up against the wall at the head of our bed and I was leaning against him. His arms were wrapped tightly around my waist as if he was protecting me from the world or something and my arms were lying across his.

During a commercial break, I felt Benjamin take in a sharp breath and yawn very suddenly. I laughed and looked up at him. “Tired, baby?”

“I guess,” he chuckled.

“Let’s just go to bed then, yeah?”

“That sounds like a plan,” he said, yawning slightly again at the end of his sentence. He released his grip on my midsection and stretched his arms out. I smiled contently, thinking back over the entire day, glad as fuck that I get to call this man mine. I sat up and reached over him to the side table, where the remote control for the television was, turning it off. I lay back down and nestled myself into Benjamin’s side, loving the feeling of his arms wrapping back around my center.

“I love you so much, you know that, right?” I asked quietly. It was so still and silent that not much more than a whisper was needed.

“Of course I do,” he said, placing a soft kiss behind my ear. I could hear the smile in his voice and could feel it on his lips, which in turn sent a smile immediately to my lips as well. “I love you Jeffrey. I love you like Rory loves Amy.”