Stronger

Marina couldn't hold back the tears any longer. Because of keeping up with appearances, she'd held them in for much too long. She didn't want anyone to think she was too emotionally unstable to take care of her baby boy, Max, once he was born. Max was all she had left in the world.

"Marina, you okay?" Anne asked. Lucas looked over, suddenly worried about his cousin.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just a little nauseous. I'll be right back." Either they bought the lie, or they figured it was the wrong time to ask about the truth. If it was the latter, they were right. Either way, she sped out of the room and laid her head in her hands as she sat down on the couch.

Too much for a seventeen year old. Too much for me. What a life. What do I do? She repeated these things again and again in her head. She watched as the tears hit the stained carpet; watched them spread to soak the surrounding threads. It calmed her for a brief moment, but moments like that never last long.

CJ was going to help her. He was going to step in and be a father to Max. He even wanted to sign the birth certificate, despite Marina's assurances that he really didn't have to sign it to be the baby's father. CJ always countered it by saying, "The baby needs a father, caηte. A real father. A person who will always be there. I want to be that person, for you, and for the baby."

She always smiled when he said that. He was right, the baby did need a father. She had no idea who the biological father was. No one knew. Even in broad daylight, he had managed to get away with violating her. She rememebred when she got home, her mother stood in the hall, motionless. It was no surprise - wasicus had always gotten away with raping native women. It was just how things went on reservations and neighboring areas. As horrified as her mother was that Marina had been a victim, she was more unsurprised than anything. That was what made Marina fall to pieces. Sure enough, the pregnancy tests two weeks later - all six of them - came back positive. Max was on his way.

Marina stood up and went to the kitchen for some water. Lucas and Anne were in her room and she didn't want them to know she'd been crying. After a few minutes and three glasses of water, the tears stopped pouring and she wiped her eyes with the hem of her shirt. She was about to glance in the mirror on her way back to her room to fix any imperfections that crying had caused so she would look completely normal when she walked in and sat down. There would be no evidence that she had ever cried. However, Anne stood around the corner, a heartfelt look on her face.

Crap, Marina thought. She'd been caught. Anne wasn't saying anything, so Marina broke the awkward silence.

"Oh, hey, Anne."

"Marina..." Anne shook her head, unsure of what to say. She stared at the walls as if they'd prompt her with the right words. "You don't have to hide the evidence. It's okay to cry."

Marina lowered her eyes. She didn't want them to give away exactly how much pain she was in.

"That was the first time since CJ's funeral, wasn't it?" Marina just nodded. "Well I don't know how you made it that long. That takes strength."

Again, Anne stared at the walls looking for words. Once more, the walls must have given her exactly what she wanted.

"Would you like us to come back later? You should use this time to let it go, since it finally came." Marina shook her head.

"No, please stay. Just...don't tell Lucas about this. I don't want him to get overly worried. You know know he is."

Anne smirked. "I promise, I won't. He has nothing to worry about anyway. You're strong, you'll be just fine."

Marina smiled the way a person would if they had just been complimented. "I'm glad you think so."

And she was. Marina was happy that at least someone thought she could handle it, because Marina...Marina wasn't too sure herself.