I Fell in Love With a Dead Boy
Blood Dolls
Gerard. He looked freshly washed and was huddled over a sketch pad, tongue sticking out the side of his mouth and pen busy scribbling across it’s surface. I took the crate of coffee from the cashier and headed over to him, grocery bag in my other arm.
“Morning” I smiled.
He looked up and gave me a small grin in return; “Hey…” he paused, glancing back down to his work and up again, “Take a seat Fia, if you want...”
I sat down slowly, coffee crate carefully placed onto the table next to us, grocery bag along with it. It was silence for a while as I watched him draw. He looked slightly paler than usual, his black hair hanging across his face as he worked the pen across the paper.
“Thanks for yesterday Fia” Gerard spoke softly, continuing to draw, not looking at me. God I felt awkward, maybe I should have just ran off when I had the chance.
“I didn’t think you’d remember…”
“Oh I remember.” He cut across me, “thank you.”
“Feeling okay?” I asked.
“Better thanks yeah.”
I watched him as he shaded in the bark of a tree next to some strange little creature, his skilled pen engraving the paper with perfectly aligned strokes.
“I err…I got you a present. To say thanks” he grinned at me, reaching into his bag below his feet and giving me a DVD.
“Thank You” I grinned taking it off him and staring at the title, “Blood Dolls?”
Gerard chuckled like an excited girl, “Yeah B horror, I thought that on the way to Glasgow me, you, Frank and Tre could watch it on the bus.”
I nodded, “That’s great, and thanks Gerard you didn’t have to” A warm fuzzy care bear feeling overtaking me.
“You didn’t have to last night…I feel ashamed I mean, well, I knew I upset you and I…I didn’t even ring you when you were a bit ill those few days. And then you, you look after me like that…when you had every right to walk off”
I felt my cheeks burning, “its okay Gerard really, you can pay me back with helping me carry this lot”
I nodded at the groceries behind me.
“Friends then?” he asked.
“Friends” I chuckled as he put his stuff away and made for the grocery bag.
"Well then, lets get going before the coffee gets cold."
Friends – I so wanted to be more, but how on earth it happen when he is so attached to his girlfriend? At least we had decided to brush everything over and talk again. Being ‘friends’ I suppose was better than not speaking or not being with him at all.
“That film was the funniest thing I have ever seen!” Frank collapsed onto the floor with chips splurging from his mouth in every direction. The film included scenes of dolls coming to life, a retarded girl rock group of dolls that played at the master’s command and of course, a walking head that talked. The bus was a mess, chips, sticky sweets and bottles of beer made a small fence around were we had sat for two hours watching this ridiculous yet hilarious film.
Frank stood up and wiped his fingers on the back of his jeans, before collapsing across Tre’s lap.
“We should have a competition, who can find the most obscure B Horror Movie” Gerard whispered into his sketch pad.
“Yeah, like Muffy the Vampire Slayer…” Tre giggled
“I dunno, we start verging on porn if we go down that line.” I shook my head.
They all cackled, “Don’t even think about it!” I yelled as they laughed harder.
“Come on then, we better get ready, Scotland calls” Frank sighed, rising up from Tre’s lap and darting for the toilet. I shared a glance with Gerard, we said that we would go and visit some sites together tomorrow and rediscover our Scottish roots.
“OCH AYE THE NOO!”
Billie yelled as we all piled into the tour buses for the night to get our stuff for the hotel. Another rip-roaring show and another night closer to finishing the tour, Billie's eyeliner had smudged around his face making him look like some hybrid panda bear. He darted around throwing some stuff into a bag before literally tipping the contents of the chest of drawers inthe back room trying to find something.
“Fia, where is my belt? The black one with the skulls?”
“You let Frank borrow it; it’ll be on the MCR bus…”
He looked at me with puppy eyes and I sighed, “I’ll get it you drama queen…before you smugde anymore eyeliner with your spoilt girl tears..."
Billie frowned and turned to the mirror, "I'm not spoilt" he spat rubbing under his eyelashes.
"Oh no never..." I sighed making for the door, "...I’ll follow you okay?”
Billie nodded and continued to groom himself in the mirror.
The My Chemical Bus looked deserted, but I had a sneaking suspicion that Gerard was in there. And he was, but I didn’t count on what I was about to discover…
“Gerard?” I questioned, as he turned around, sniffing quickly and tracing fingers underneath his eyes.
“Gerard are you okay?”
“Hi Fia” He turned around fully, face slightly red, he had obviously been crying.
“Gerard?” I questioned, but he waved his hand and forced a smile, pretending like nothing had happened he sat down and sniffed again. He patted the sofa next to him softly.
“Are you okay?” He asked as I sat down, slowly and uneasily, my mouth loose and my eyes bulging, confused and desperate to know what had just happened.
“Err, yeah, yeah” I stammered, “I’ve come to get that belt that Frank borrowed from Billie…”
“Ah, yeah, I think he left wearing it.” Gerard sniffed again. Tipping his head back slightly as if his eyeballs would soak back the tears.
“Gerard what…?”
“Just leave it Fia really.” He snapped.
I jumped slightly, “Okay…”
He sighed. His leather jacket creaking as he tugged at the ends of his hair.
“Sorry Fia…I just don’t want to talk about it…”
I nodded, “Okay.”
I could hear Gerard’s breathing begin to steady in the air, the musty bus smell filling my senses with the faint trace of his cologne.
“I…I found some cool places to visit tomorrow Fia…”
“Oh” I nodded, “Where?”
Gerard smiled and turned to look at me, those famous eyes piercing right through my skull.
“Well Braemar Castle, this guy I was talking to told me this story that a girl is said to haunt the place, she apparently committed suicide after marrying this guy who abandoned her.”
I nodded, “Sounds interestingly spooky…”
“Yeah and err… you know, the old favourites, Edinburgh Castle, Loch Ness and stuff, but I also want to see Baldoon Castle?”
“How come..?”
“Well this guy was saying that a girl was forced to abandon the man she loved and was forced to marry this other guy and on her wedding night she went mad and killed him. Then her and her lover jumped from the balcony. Then a ghostly engraving of them appeared on a tree in the grounds and I want to be a hopeless romantic and go and see for myself.”
I nodded, “morbidly fascinating, sounds great Gerard.”
He nodded, “I’m glad you’re into it, I was a bit nervous you know, in case you thought I was some weirdo.”
“Nah” I chuckled, “It fascinates me and scares me to death at the same time.”
Gerard smiled, “I love being scared, walking around old houses and castles, you never know what’s in those closets.”
I laughed, “Well I’ll try my best-est to make you terrified tomorrow…with the help of closets…”
“I have a closet fetish” he chuckled.
“I’ve discovered” I smiled back.
“No heart attacks though, with my smoking I don’t think my lungs could take it.” he grinned.
“No heart attacks, the trouble I’d get into for killing off Gerard Way by closet.”
“Good way to die though” He chuckled, “being scared to death by you jumping out of some castle’s closet.”
I laughed, secretly thinking that if I were to die by Gerard’s side it would be a heavenly way to die. How emo of me.
He turned to me again after looking down at his hands.
“You know. Err, before, when you walked in?”
I nodded in recognition,
“Well. I feel I should explain…I, my girlfriend I mean, well…”
There it goes again, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend…
He stopped talking and just looked at me. But, Oh god the way his eyes were piercing mine, the strength erupting threw those pupils of his made everything else in the world seem so trivial. All I wanted was for him to pick me up and slam me against the wall of the bus, girlfriend or not, he had that fire in his eyes that riddled me to a heap of ashes.
“Fia I…I mean…I don’t know where I am with it, I mean she…well…I…I”
He inched closer to me on the couch, the intense heat I was feeling now crackled beneath me, the dense feeling in the pit of your stomach before looking over a cliff’s edge clawed it’s way into my abdomen. Touch me Gerard, god just reach out and touch me, I don’t care, I was getting hot, his smell, his crackly voice and the look in his eye made everything he was saying to me utterly pointless, he could have been talking Chinese and I still would have nodded in agreement.
“Gerard…” I whispered my morality past caring, I wanted him, I needed him… now.
He stared at me, eyes glossing over and allowing me to bring my hand up gently and stroke his cheek. Whenever our eyes met I felt a burning in my chest, the feeling you get from indigestion, the blocking of the heart, only Gerard was in that bloody pump now, he encapsulated it all.
Gerard came closer to me, his hot breath tickling my skin. My heart thudded, an aching prerequisite in the pit of my stomach ran through me, the tiredness from not sleeping disappeared and a daze of hazy greed ran through my veins. Oh god I needed him, I would literally sell my soul for his lips just to meet mine once again.
The gap between us narrowed, I wished he could feel the pang of fire that I was feeling right now. My eyes closed uncontrollably and I suddenly felt the pressure of his lips against mine, he was kissing me. HE was kissing ME.
Oh God the wasted time that had gone by all for this moment, this sweet kiss, he tasted like I drunkenly remembered, his strong hands reached up to my neck sending a pulsating shake down my own spine. I moaned into his mouth as a warm tongue forced its way into mine. The tang of his taste engulfing my whole mouth, before I knew it I was moving backwards along the couch, grappling with him, my hands seizing his head, pushing him closer into me.
I NEEDED him closer, my whole body begged to be closer to him, to be in him, I wanted to feel him under my skin.
He groaned as his body lay down onto my own, the weight of him on top of my chest exciting me more, the feel of his clothed erection soaring heat against my thigh. The gusty whirlwind building in my stomach sped up to beyond recognition and I suddenly realised his hands had left my neck and were moving down, down, beneath my shirt. His palms stroked the bare skin on my torso and I moaned again, the warmth of his hands racing across my skin and setting it alight with goose bumps.
My hands were fighting with his shirt buttons, popping each one open, frenziedly unclothing him, desperate to see what lay underneath this black wrapping. His mouth still attached to my own, my palms found their way under Gerard’s shirt, the feeling of his warm pale skin sending me into a flurry of ecstasy, my clouded mind dazed as his lips left my mouth so my shirt could be removed.
His lips attached themselves to my neck and I let out an unnerving groan of satisfaction. I wanted him and I wanted him in me now.
Pushing him back off me I slid his shirt down form his torso, panting breaths filling the air as his eyes fixed on me, possessed with a dark fire that I had only seen when he was performing. My hands caressed downwards, his zip on his pants pulled down slowly, the button made free of it’s confides, the pants slid off the owner.
I smirked, commando Gerard.
His cheeks tinged pink and I smiled grabbing the back of his head and forcing his mouth against mine again. Oh GOD I could not get tired of the taste of him. Before I knew it, my own pants were removed and he entered me. Filling me, stretching me, joining us and feeding the toxic desire that had been growing just by sitting next to him alone on the couch. Both of us entangled and sweating, everything in the world was forgotten, nothing else existed, nothing else mattered, and thought and time were elapsed as emotions took over, only the two of us, trapped in this bubble of lust and love really made a difference.
The air suddenly filled with hitched post-cum heavy breathing, I opened my eyes to be met with those piercing green ones. His arms scooped me up tighter to his chest and I rested my head on his bare shoulder, kissing it tenderly. Oh god I felt so complete.
Gerard suddenly shot up, pulling on his clothes quickly; I grabbed my shirt and shoved it over my head, determined not to be left in my vulnerable state. The cold air hit me as soon as he left my body and widened the space between us.
“I’m sorry Fia” he whispered, “I…I shouldn’t have I…I’m sorry.”
I pulled on my own clothes and watched him as he sat on the couch doing up the buttons on his shirt.
“I…I have a girlfriend…I…”
My heart broke, I felt ashamed, used, what was wrong with him? This girlfriend was slowly killing him wasn’t she? Every time he was alone he was consumed in his own tears.
“Why did you do it then?”
He didn’t answer me; he continued to do the last few buttons on his shirt, staring at the floor.
“Why did you kiss me? You obviously know how I feel about you”
I felt my voice waver, don’t cry Fia, do not fucking cry.
He still didn’t answer, his head just bent down, staring at the floor.
I stood up, hot searing anger awaiting to burst,
“Don’t worry about it Gerard, I’m used to being used and dumped, I guess I know who I can count on.”
I walked past him, awaiting, begging for him to pull me back, tell me he was sorry, kiss me, just…SAY something.
I felt the tears prick behind my eyes, small daggers racing around my blood, axing their way into my heart, hacking away at it like a block of ice.
He didn’t say anything, he didn’t move, he just sat there, I had gotten to the door of the bus, I didn’t want to leave.
My hand reached for the handle…
“Fia…”
I turned to see him, looking up at me a glare in his eyes that I couldn’t pin point the meaning.
“…I…never mind”
I swallowed.
“Just…Just don’t speak to me Gerard okay? I suggest we stay out of each other’s way” I snarled slamming the door behind me and feeling the intense cold wind against my skin.
I felt dirty; I turned around, tears rolling down my cheek. I let out a sob, pulling my hood over my head and holding my face in abused hands. How could I let that happen? How could he do that to me?
“Fia?”
I turned, it was Mike.
Shit.
“Morning” I smiled.
He looked up and gave me a small grin in return; “Hey…” he paused, glancing back down to his work and up again, “Take a seat Fia, if you want...”
I sat down slowly, coffee crate carefully placed onto the table next to us, grocery bag along with it. It was silence for a while as I watched him draw. He looked slightly paler than usual, his black hair hanging across his face as he worked the pen across the paper.
“Thanks for yesterday Fia” Gerard spoke softly, continuing to draw, not looking at me. God I felt awkward, maybe I should have just ran off when I had the chance.
“I didn’t think you’d remember…”
“Oh I remember.” He cut across me, “thank you.”
“Feeling okay?” I asked.
“Better thanks yeah.”
I watched him as he shaded in the bark of a tree next to some strange little creature, his skilled pen engraving the paper with perfectly aligned strokes.
“I err…I got you a present. To say thanks” he grinned at me, reaching into his bag below his feet and giving me a DVD.
“Thank You” I grinned taking it off him and staring at the title, “Blood Dolls?”
Gerard chuckled like an excited girl, “Yeah B horror, I thought that on the way to Glasgow me, you, Frank and Tre could watch it on the bus.”
I nodded, “That’s great, and thanks Gerard you didn’t have to” A warm fuzzy care bear feeling overtaking me.
“You didn’t have to last night…I feel ashamed I mean, well, I knew I upset you and I…I didn’t even ring you when you were a bit ill those few days. And then you, you look after me like that…when you had every right to walk off”
I felt my cheeks burning, “its okay Gerard really, you can pay me back with helping me carry this lot”
I nodded at the groceries behind me.
“Friends then?” he asked.
“Friends” I chuckled as he put his stuff away and made for the grocery bag.
"Well then, lets get going before the coffee gets cold."
Friends – I so wanted to be more, but how on earth it happen when he is so attached to his girlfriend? At least we had decided to brush everything over and talk again. Being ‘friends’ I suppose was better than not speaking or not being with him at all.
“That film was the funniest thing I have ever seen!” Frank collapsed onto the floor with chips splurging from his mouth in every direction. The film included scenes of dolls coming to life, a retarded girl rock group of dolls that played at the master’s command and of course, a walking head that talked. The bus was a mess, chips, sticky sweets and bottles of beer made a small fence around were we had sat for two hours watching this ridiculous yet hilarious film.
Frank stood up and wiped his fingers on the back of his jeans, before collapsing across Tre’s lap.
“We should have a competition, who can find the most obscure B Horror Movie” Gerard whispered into his sketch pad.
“Yeah, like Muffy the Vampire Slayer…” Tre giggled
“I dunno, we start verging on porn if we go down that line.” I shook my head.
They all cackled, “Don’t even think about it!” I yelled as they laughed harder.
“Come on then, we better get ready, Scotland calls” Frank sighed, rising up from Tre’s lap and darting for the toilet. I shared a glance with Gerard, we said that we would go and visit some sites together tomorrow and rediscover our Scottish roots.
“OCH AYE THE NOO!”
Billie yelled as we all piled into the tour buses for the night to get our stuff for the hotel. Another rip-roaring show and another night closer to finishing the tour, Billie's eyeliner had smudged around his face making him look like some hybrid panda bear. He darted around throwing some stuff into a bag before literally tipping the contents of the chest of drawers inthe back room trying to find something.
“Fia, where is my belt? The black one with the skulls?”
“You let Frank borrow it; it’ll be on the MCR bus…”
He looked at me with puppy eyes and I sighed, “I’ll get it you drama queen…before you smugde anymore eyeliner with your spoilt girl tears..."
Billie frowned and turned to the mirror, "I'm not spoilt" he spat rubbing under his eyelashes.
"Oh no never..." I sighed making for the door, "...I’ll follow you okay?”
Billie nodded and continued to groom himself in the mirror.
The My Chemical Bus looked deserted, but I had a sneaking suspicion that Gerard was in there. And he was, but I didn’t count on what I was about to discover…
“Gerard?” I questioned, as he turned around, sniffing quickly and tracing fingers underneath his eyes.
“Gerard are you okay?”
“Hi Fia” He turned around fully, face slightly red, he had obviously been crying.
“Gerard?” I questioned, but he waved his hand and forced a smile, pretending like nothing had happened he sat down and sniffed again. He patted the sofa next to him softly.
“Are you okay?” He asked as I sat down, slowly and uneasily, my mouth loose and my eyes bulging, confused and desperate to know what had just happened.
“Err, yeah, yeah” I stammered, “I’ve come to get that belt that Frank borrowed from Billie…”
“Ah, yeah, I think he left wearing it.” Gerard sniffed again. Tipping his head back slightly as if his eyeballs would soak back the tears.
“Gerard what…?”
“Just leave it Fia really.” He snapped.
I jumped slightly, “Okay…”
He sighed. His leather jacket creaking as he tugged at the ends of his hair.
“Sorry Fia…I just don’t want to talk about it…”
I nodded, “Okay.”
I could hear Gerard’s breathing begin to steady in the air, the musty bus smell filling my senses with the faint trace of his cologne.
“I…I found some cool places to visit tomorrow Fia…”
“Oh” I nodded, “Where?”
Gerard smiled and turned to look at me, those famous eyes piercing right through my skull.
“Well Braemar Castle, this guy I was talking to told me this story that a girl is said to haunt the place, she apparently committed suicide after marrying this guy who abandoned her.”
I nodded, “Sounds interestingly spooky…”
“Yeah and err… you know, the old favourites, Edinburgh Castle, Loch Ness and stuff, but I also want to see Baldoon Castle?”
“How come..?”
“Well this guy was saying that a girl was forced to abandon the man she loved and was forced to marry this other guy and on her wedding night she went mad and killed him. Then her and her lover jumped from the balcony. Then a ghostly engraving of them appeared on a tree in the grounds and I want to be a hopeless romantic and go and see for myself.”
I nodded, “morbidly fascinating, sounds great Gerard.”
He nodded, “I’m glad you’re into it, I was a bit nervous you know, in case you thought I was some weirdo.”
“Nah” I chuckled, “It fascinates me and scares me to death at the same time.”
Gerard smiled, “I love being scared, walking around old houses and castles, you never know what’s in those closets.”
I laughed, “Well I’ll try my best-est to make you terrified tomorrow…with the help of closets…”
“I have a closet fetish” he chuckled.
“I’ve discovered” I smiled back.
“No heart attacks though, with my smoking I don’t think my lungs could take it.” he grinned.
“No heart attacks, the trouble I’d get into for killing off Gerard Way by closet.”
“Good way to die though” He chuckled, “being scared to death by you jumping out of some castle’s closet.”
I laughed, secretly thinking that if I were to die by Gerard’s side it would be a heavenly way to die. How emo of me.
He turned to me again after looking down at his hands.
“You know. Err, before, when you walked in?”
I nodded in recognition,
“Well. I feel I should explain…I, my girlfriend I mean, well…”
There it goes again, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend…
He stopped talking and just looked at me. But, Oh god the way his eyes were piercing mine, the strength erupting threw those pupils of his made everything else in the world seem so trivial. All I wanted was for him to pick me up and slam me against the wall of the bus, girlfriend or not, he had that fire in his eyes that riddled me to a heap of ashes.
“Fia I…I mean…I don’t know where I am with it, I mean she…well…I…I”
He inched closer to me on the couch, the intense heat I was feeling now crackled beneath me, the dense feeling in the pit of your stomach before looking over a cliff’s edge clawed it’s way into my abdomen. Touch me Gerard, god just reach out and touch me, I don’t care, I was getting hot, his smell, his crackly voice and the look in his eye made everything he was saying to me utterly pointless, he could have been talking Chinese and I still would have nodded in agreement.
“Gerard…” I whispered my morality past caring, I wanted him, I needed him… now.
He stared at me, eyes glossing over and allowing me to bring my hand up gently and stroke his cheek. Whenever our eyes met I felt a burning in my chest, the feeling you get from indigestion, the blocking of the heart, only Gerard was in that bloody pump now, he encapsulated it all.
Gerard came closer to me, his hot breath tickling my skin. My heart thudded, an aching prerequisite in the pit of my stomach ran through me, the tiredness from not sleeping disappeared and a daze of hazy greed ran through my veins. Oh god I needed him, I would literally sell my soul for his lips just to meet mine once again.
The gap between us narrowed, I wished he could feel the pang of fire that I was feeling right now. My eyes closed uncontrollably and I suddenly felt the pressure of his lips against mine, he was kissing me. HE was kissing ME.
Oh God the wasted time that had gone by all for this moment, this sweet kiss, he tasted like I drunkenly remembered, his strong hands reached up to my neck sending a pulsating shake down my own spine. I moaned into his mouth as a warm tongue forced its way into mine. The tang of his taste engulfing my whole mouth, before I knew it I was moving backwards along the couch, grappling with him, my hands seizing his head, pushing him closer into me.
I NEEDED him closer, my whole body begged to be closer to him, to be in him, I wanted to feel him under my skin.
He groaned as his body lay down onto my own, the weight of him on top of my chest exciting me more, the feel of his clothed erection soaring heat against my thigh. The gusty whirlwind building in my stomach sped up to beyond recognition and I suddenly realised his hands had left my neck and were moving down, down, beneath my shirt. His palms stroked the bare skin on my torso and I moaned again, the warmth of his hands racing across my skin and setting it alight with goose bumps.
My hands were fighting with his shirt buttons, popping each one open, frenziedly unclothing him, desperate to see what lay underneath this black wrapping. His mouth still attached to my own, my palms found their way under Gerard’s shirt, the feeling of his warm pale skin sending me into a flurry of ecstasy, my clouded mind dazed as his lips left my mouth so my shirt could be removed.
His lips attached themselves to my neck and I let out an unnerving groan of satisfaction. I wanted him and I wanted him in me now.
Pushing him back off me I slid his shirt down form his torso, panting breaths filling the air as his eyes fixed on me, possessed with a dark fire that I had only seen when he was performing. My hands caressed downwards, his zip on his pants pulled down slowly, the button made free of it’s confides, the pants slid off the owner.
I smirked, commando Gerard.
His cheeks tinged pink and I smiled grabbing the back of his head and forcing his mouth against mine again. Oh GOD I could not get tired of the taste of him. Before I knew it, my own pants were removed and he entered me. Filling me, stretching me, joining us and feeding the toxic desire that had been growing just by sitting next to him alone on the couch. Both of us entangled and sweating, everything in the world was forgotten, nothing else existed, nothing else mattered, and thought and time were elapsed as emotions took over, only the two of us, trapped in this bubble of lust and love really made a difference.
The air suddenly filled with hitched post-cum heavy breathing, I opened my eyes to be met with those piercing green ones. His arms scooped me up tighter to his chest and I rested my head on his bare shoulder, kissing it tenderly. Oh god I felt so complete.
Gerard suddenly shot up, pulling on his clothes quickly; I grabbed my shirt and shoved it over my head, determined not to be left in my vulnerable state. The cold air hit me as soon as he left my body and widened the space between us.
“I’m sorry Fia” he whispered, “I…I shouldn’t have I…I’m sorry.”
I pulled on my own clothes and watched him as he sat on the couch doing up the buttons on his shirt.
“I…I have a girlfriend…I…”
My heart broke, I felt ashamed, used, what was wrong with him? This girlfriend was slowly killing him wasn’t she? Every time he was alone he was consumed in his own tears.
“Why did you do it then?”
He didn’t answer me; he continued to do the last few buttons on his shirt, staring at the floor.
“Why did you kiss me? You obviously know how I feel about you”
I felt my voice waver, don’t cry Fia, do not fucking cry.
He still didn’t answer, his head just bent down, staring at the floor.
I stood up, hot searing anger awaiting to burst,
“Don’t worry about it Gerard, I’m used to being used and dumped, I guess I know who I can count on.”
I walked past him, awaiting, begging for him to pull me back, tell me he was sorry, kiss me, just…SAY something.
I felt the tears prick behind my eyes, small daggers racing around my blood, axing their way into my heart, hacking away at it like a block of ice.
He didn’t say anything, he didn’t move, he just sat there, I had gotten to the door of the bus, I didn’t want to leave.
My hand reached for the handle…
“Fia…”
I turned to see him, looking up at me a glare in his eyes that I couldn’t pin point the meaning.
“…I…never mind”
I swallowed.
“Just…Just don’t speak to me Gerard okay? I suggest we stay out of each other’s way” I snarled slamming the door behind me and feeling the intense cold wind against my skin.
I felt dirty; I turned around, tears rolling down my cheek. I let out a sob, pulling my hood over my head and holding my face in abused hands. How could I let that happen? How could he do that to me?
“Fia?”
I turned, it was Mike.
Shit.