I Fell in Love With a Dead Boy
The First Cut is the Deepest
Frank wasn’t joking; an hour after Green Day’s set, I, Billie and himself crashed open the door to Gerard’s room with a bundle of firecrackers. Letting them go and causing Gerard to jump up from his bed, skeleton clad pyjamas dashing from the room and into the hotel corridor running for his help.
“You fuckers!” he spat grinning widely.
“COME ON GEE! We robbed a karaoke machine!” Billie chuckled as we dragged him down to Bob’s hotel room, currently the party place of the night.
“Guys! Guys I want to go to bed, Oi No! No! ARE YOU LISTENING? Frank get off! Don’t touch me there!”
Laughing hysterically we sat Gerard down next to Adi and I took the vacant seat next to him.
Tre was currently slaughtering a Ramones song as we all looked and clapped the drummer on. I turned to Gee who took the beer Adi offered him.
“Ah, getting into the spirit of things are we now?”
“With that wake up call how can I not?”
“It was original I must say, nice PJ’s by the way”
“Thanks” he chuckled as Bob pretended to hump Tre on the balcony that had been converted into a stage for the karaoke night.
Un- fazed by this homosexual act I turned to Adi who smiled at me as she complimented Gerard on his gig. Before I knew it, I was being pulled by the wrist by Mike and dancing to some ridiculous Andrew Wk song that Bob was howling into the crackly mike. I turned to Adi and Gerard who laughed at my face before continuing their conversation.
It felt like only a few minutes had flown by and my head was out of it, dream-like drunk- world had taken over me. I turned to see Gerard gone from his seat, scanning the room I knew he had definitely left the party…already. What the Fuck?
I suddenly spotted him closing the door behind him…chatting on his cell and ignoring the party going on behind it.
Rage.
Why he is on his cell all the fucking time? He needs to learn to fucking talk to people, he needed to get involved people were gonna get sick of trying.
Before I knew it I had dashed from the room myself in a fit of frustration and loss… turning right, the way to Gerard’s hotel room I suddenly froze to the spot.
Sitting with his back against the closed door I felt my heart stop. Head in hands his face covered by the matting of his hair. What was wrong with him?
He looked up at my presence, also immobilized in shock. My heart melted at the look of confusion on his face, I couldn’t yell at him now, not while he was a distraught heap on the floor.
I sat down next to him, propping my beer against the wall, “What’s up Gee?”
He didn’t say a word just continued to stare where I had been previously standing.
“Lost your room key?” I smiled, my voice wavering at a whisper. He didn’t laugh, smirk even acknowledge my presence of shitty joke. Okay, no more jokes, this was serious. A good few minutes passed before he inhaled and started to speak,
“Fia I don’t know what’s fucking wrong with me you know? I was never like this, ask the guys…”
I turned to look at him, face so close to my own I could feel the heat from him, his piercing eyes turning dark upon meeting mine. My spine felt like it would pop from my back at the shiver those eyes produced in my body.
“It’s hard, it really is keeping the balance I mean, being able to party, getting enough sleep, playing good, behaving yourself for the people back home.”
Gerard looked away from me and down at his feet, “What if the people back home don’t deserve it?”
“Mostly they don’t, the trick is making them believe that you are, and then the battle is coping with your own guilt.”
Gerard chuckled, “Yeah, sounds familiar”
We sat there looking into space, time spun by so quickly when I was next to him, the feeling of his arm brushing against my own set my very skin on fire, shivers bursting through my body like miniature earthquakes every time he shifted next to me.
“Why did you follow me out here Fia?” he asked, his voice bursting the silence like a trodden grape. There was a million things I wanted to say to him all of them floating through my head like lost winds in a desert. I took a while to reply, feeling his eyes dancing over me, on edge for a reply that would satisfy him some how.
I turned to him, bursting embarrassment stretching across my stomach.
“I was concerned, I mean, your forever on your phone, I haven’t really gotten to know you… but I want to. You kind of fascinate me.”
Gerard turned a confused frown on his face, maybe I was being to honest, or not enough, either way I continued, or tried to…
“I mean, when Billie performs he goes a bit crazy, he thrives off of it, the audience I mean, because he IS always centre of attention, always thriving from an audience. But you…you go insane, you have a fanatical look in your eye and you screech every word like it’s your last…and yet, you’ll come off stage and go straight into your room like a hermit, only to emerge the next night to give another soul stretching performance.”
Gerard watched me as I nervously fiddled with my hands, not daring to look at him.
“…and then last night, we, we kinda had a laugh with the ice and I saw a different side to you, you know…Mr. Split Personality” I chuckled.
Finally I turned to him, his eyes boring away at my skull like he could read behind every word I had just said.
“Anyway, enough of me singing your praises, too many people do that.” I joked, a Mike technique, always save face with a pathetic joke.
He smirked, flitting his eyes from mine and back again. I felt myself drawing closer towards him without realising it…was he going to kiss me?
I could literally smell him, taste him, I felt like this perfect little guy had been made especially for me, a dish best served to Fia from God…
“FIA! WHERE ARE YOU? WE’VE GOT ROD STEWART HERE FOR YOU TO SING!” It was Adi. Mrs. Armstrong ruining the moment of course
“Coming Adi” I yelled back, moving away from Gerard disappointment racking my every nerve.
“I…I’ll have to go” I smiled at him, he still hadn’t said a word, I wished to god I knew what he was thinking.
I stood up, hearing Adi’s calls getting closer.
“Fia…”
I turned to Gerard who stood up also, grinning,
“Thanks”
I returned the Cheshire cat grin as Adi waltzed around the corner, eyebrow raising as she caught sight of us.
“Just coming…” I smiled at her turning to leave as Gerard entered his room.
After me killing off “The first cut is the Deepest”, my karaoke speciality, Adi grabbed me in the corner as I took my 10th beer.
“What were you and Gerard doing back there?”
“Just talking Aunt Ades” I smiled back, knowing I was about to receive a lecture.
She inhaled, I was ready for it, the Adi talk. Here we go and…yes…
“Look Fia, don’t, don’t get too attached to Gerard, I mean, there’s some nice boys I know I could fix you up with…”
“No thanks” I grinned.
“Okay fine Fia but, you know that Mark from Adeline always asks about you.”
“Yes I know but Mark has the brain of a four year old and smells his own used socks.”
“Ew…yes well he is a good designer though…anyway off track here, all I’m saying is don’t start liking him okay? Thinks will get complicated and Billie will kill you both, him first…actually he would probably just injure you.”
I nodded, too late I’m afraid my dear Auntie I’m already head over heels for Gerard Way.
“You fuckers!” he spat grinning widely.
“COME ON GEE! We robbed a karaoke machine!” Billie chuckled as we dragged him down to Bob’s hotel room, currently the party place of the night.
“Guys! Guys I want to go to bed, Oi No! No! ARE YOU LISTENING? Frank get off! Don’t touch me there!”
Laughing hysterically we sat Gerard down next to Adi and I took the vacant seat next to him.
Tre was currently slaughtering a Ramones song as we all looked and clapped the drummer on. I turned to Gee who took the beer Adi offered him.
“Ah, getting into the spirit of things are we now?”
“With that wake up call how can I not?”
“It was original I must say, nice PJ’s by the way”
“Thanks” he chuckled as Bob pretended to hump Tre on the balcony that had been converted into a stage for the karaoke night.
Un- fazed by this homosexual act I turned to Adi who smiled at me as she complimented Gerard on his gig. Before I knew it, I was being pulled by the wrist by Mike and dancing to some ridiculous Andrew Wk song that Bob was howling into the crackly mike. I turned to Adi and Gerard who laughed at my face before continuing their conversation.
It felt like only a few minutes had flown by and my head was out of it, dream-like drunk- world had taken over me. I turned to see Gerard gone from his seat, scanning the room I knew he had definitely left the party…already. What the Fuck?
I suddenly spotted him closing the door behind him…chatting on his cell and ignoring the party going on behind it.
Rage.
Why he is on his cell all the fucking time? He needs to learn to fucking talk to people, he needed to get involved people were gonna get sick of trying.
Before I knew it I had dashed from the room myself in a fit of frustration and loss… turning right, the way to Gerard’s hotel room I suddenly froze to the spot.
Sitting with his back against the closed door I felt my heart stop. Head in hands his face covered by the matting of his hair. What was wrong with him?
He looked up at my presence, also immobilized in shock. My heart melted at the look of confusion on his face, I couldn’t yell at him now, not while he was a distraught heap on the floor.
I sat down next to him, propping my beer against the wall, “What’s up Gee?”
He didn’t say a word just continued to stare where I had been previously standing.
“Lost your room key?” I smiled, my voice wavering at a whisper. He didn’t laugh, smirk even acknowledge my presence of shitty joke. Okay, no more jokes, this was serious. A good few minutes passed before he inhaled and started to speak,
“Fia I don’t know what’s fucking wrong with me you know? I was never like this, ask the guys…”
I turned to look at him, face so close to my own I could feel the heat from him, his piercing eyes turning dark upon meeting mine. My spine felt like it would pop from my back at the shiver those eyes produced in my body.
“It’s hard, it really is keeping the balance I mean, being able to party, getting enough sleep, playing good, behaving yourself for the people back home.”
Gerard looked away from me and down at his feet, “What if the people back home don’t deserve it?”
“Mostly they don’t, the trick is making them believe that you are, and then the battle is coping with your own guilt.”
Gerard chuckled, “Yeah, sounds familiar”
We sat there looking into space, time spun by so quickly when I was next to him, the feeling of his arm brushing against my own set my very skin on fire, shivers bursting through my body like miniature earthquakes every time he shifted next to me.
“Why did you follow me out here Fia?” he asked, his voice bursting the silence like a trodden grape. There was a million things I wanted to say to him all of them floating through my head like lost winds in a desert. I took a while to reply, feeling his eyes dancing over me, on edge for a reply that would satisfy him some how.
I turned to him, bursting embarrassment stretching across my stomach.
“I was concerned, I mean, your forever on your phone, I haven’t really gotten to know you… but I want to. You kind of fascinate me.”
Gerard turned a confused frown on his face, maybe I was being to honest, or not enough, either way I continued, or tried to…
“I mean, when Billie performs he goes a bit crazy, he thrives off of it, the audience I mean, because he IS always centre of attention, always thriving from an audience. But you…you go insane, you have a fanatical look in your eye and you screech every word like it’s your last…and yet, you’ll come off stage and go straight into your room like a hermit, only to emerge the next night to give another soul stretching performance.”
Gerard watched me as I nervously fiddled with my hands, not daring to look at him.
“…and then last night, we, we kinda had a laugh with the ice and I saw a different side to you, you know…Mr. Split Personality” I chuckled.
Finally I turned to him, his eyes boring away at my skull like he could read behind every word I had just said.
“Anyway, enough of me singing your praises, too many people do that.” I joked, a Mike technique, always save face with a pathetic joke.
He smirked, flitting his eyes from mine and back again. I felt myself drawing closer towards him without realising it…was he going to kiss me?
I could literally smell him, taste him, I felt like this perfect little guy had been made especially for me, a dish best served to Fia from God…
“FIA! WHERE ARE YOU? WE’VE GOT ROD STEWART HERE FOR YOU TO SING!” It was Adi. Mrs. Armstrong ruining the moment of course
“Coming Adi” I yelled back, moving away from Gerard disappointment racking my every nerve.
“I…I’ll have to go” I smiled at him, he still hadn’t said a word, I wished to god I knew what he was thinking.
I stood up, hearing Adi’s calls getting closer.
“Fia…”
I turned to Gerard who stood up also, grinning,
“Thanks”
I returned the Cheshire cat grin as Adi waltzed around the corner, eyebrow raising as she caught sight of us.
“Just coming…” I smiled at her turning to leave as Gerard entered his room.
After me killing off “The first cut is the Deepest”, my karaoke speciality, Adi grabbed me in the corner as I took my 10th beer.
“What were you and Gerard doing back there?”
“Just talking Aunt Ades” I smiled back, knowing I was about to receive a lecture.
She inhaled, I was ready for it, the Adi talk. Here we go and…yes…
“Look Fia, don’t, don’t get too attached to Gerard, I mean, there’s some nice boys I know I could fix you up with…”
“No thanks” I grinned.
“Okay fine Fia but, you know that Mark from Adeline always asks about you.”
“Yes I know but Mark has the brain of a four year old and smells his own used socks.”
“Ew…yes well he is a good designer though…anyway off track here, all I’m saying is don’t start liking him okay? Thinks will get complicated and Billie will kill you both, him first…actually he would probably just injure you.”
I nodded, too late I’m afraid my dear Auntie I’m already head over heels for Gerard Way.