I Want to Hate You Half as Much as I Hate Myself

Ryan stood in front of the mirror fiddling with his hair, and he wasn't quite sure if he was nervous or stalling. But either way, he wasn't looking forward to the events that were about to take place that evening.

"Ryan sweetie, you hair is fine, lets go." Brendon said coming up behind him.

Ryan sighed and looked at his boyfriend. Brendon recognized the look of reluctance and brought his hands up to Ryan's shoulders, gently rubbing them in attempt to soothe his lover.

"Ry, everything will be alright okay?" Brendon tried. "Just try and have fun for Patrick. It's his party."

"I know, I know." Ryan said, closing his eyes and lolling his head back, relaxing into Brendon's touch. "I just... I did what you said and told him that I was okay with him and Pete, but I'm really not Bren. I'm afraid he's going to get hurt. I mean, I know Pete's your best friend and everything, but I just don't trust him. I really don't approve of this."

Brendon sighed and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's waist and rested his chin on his shoulder. "Ryan, Patrick is a grown man. He can make his won decisions. And if he makes a wrong one... you can't always be there to protect him. You'll just have to be there to pick up the pieces. Let him make his own mistakes."

Ryan sighed. "I know. But I'm still worried."

Brendon chuckled. "And you have every right to be. Pete is a bit immature and irresponsible. But he's also..."

"A slut?" Ryan finished. Brendon rolled his eyes, but also let a smile escape his lips at the truth. "Yes, sometimes, but he's also head over heals for Patrick. Something about your boy must have caught his attention, because I've never seen him work this hard in his entire life. He nearly worked himself to death so he could give Patrick a great birthday. Pete really does care about him."

Ryan sighed. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I still don't like him though."

Brendon laughed. "Of course. Well, let's go before we're late."

Ryan reached up and kissed his boyfriend before fixing his hair one last time and following Brendon out the door.

~*~

Pete took a deep breath before knocking on the familiar apartment door.

Patrick answered with a blank expression on his face.

After Patrick didn't say anything, Pete awkwardly brought up his hand to wave.

"Uh, hey." He finally spat.

"What? Finally done working enough to come see your boyfriend? How about the fact that I haven't seen you all day and it's my fucking birth-"

"Get your coat." Pete cut him off.

Patrick raised his eyebrow. "What?" He asked.

"Get you're coat. I'm taking you out." Pete said with a mischievous grin on his face.

Patrick sighed. "Fine." He said before closing the door and disappearing for a moment. Pete waited anxiously outside before Patrick finally reappeared with his coat and wallet.

"Let's go then."

~*~

"Where are we going anyway?" Patrick asked as he got in the car. "And where the fuck did you get a car?"

Pete laughed. "I borrowed it from Brendon. And I'm taking you out to dinner with our friends, then afterwards there's a surprise."

"A surprise...?" Patrick questioned.

"Yup. Happy birthday sweetie." Pete charmed, reaching over to kiss his boyfriend on the cheek.

Warmth filled Patrick's cheeks as he looked away, trying to hide his face.

"Don't try and butter me up. It's not going to make up for ignoring me for the last few days you asshole." Patrick muttered.

Pete laughed. "I wasn't ignoring you, you know. I was working my ass off, trying to save up so I could throw you the best birthday you've ever had."

Patrick sat up straight and looked at Pete with surprised eyes.

"Really?" He asked. "That's why you've been so distant?"

Pete smiled and leaned over to kiss him. "Mhm. Happy birthday sweetie."

Patrick flushed even deeper, but smiled.

"I... I don't know what to say." He mumbled.

"You don't need to say anything. Just have a good time alright?" Pete said, grabbing his hand.

Patrick nodded. "Thank you. This is really sweet, Pete. I never expected this from you to be honest."

Pete laughed again. "You, and probably everyone else on the face of this planet."

~*~

The two of them arrived at the restaurant to see an impatient looking Brendon and Ryan standing outside in the freezing cold.

"It's about time." Brendon said as they approached.

Pete rolled his eyes, and Ryan gave patrick a hug and wished him a happy birthday.

"Happy birthday Trick." Brendon said giving him a pat on the shoulder. "Lets go inside shall we? Before my balls freeze off."

~*~

For the majority of the dinner Ryan didn't say much. He mostly kept silent and kept his eyes on the table or on his food. He didn't mean to create an awkward atmosphere, but he was trying his hardest not to be bitter to Pete, and that just so happened to mean pretending he wasn't there.

Every now and then Brendon would give Ryan and supportive pat on the knee, or hold his hand and caress it lovingly, something to calm him down. But it wasn't working too well.

However, despite the awkward atmosphere, Patrick managed to have a great time, mostly because he felt like he had the best boyfriend in the world, and he was out with his friends. Just plain and simple.

"Uh, I have to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back." Ryan mumbled before getting up from the booth. Brendon looked after him for a moment before following.

Patrick sighed and turned to Pete.

"Sorry about that." Patrick said. Pete smirked.

"It's alright, that kid's hated my guts for as long as I can remember."

"Believe it or not, he's trying really hard. Not looking at or acknowledging you is his way of sparing you." Patrick said with an amused chuckle.

Pete laughed too. "My original plan had been to throw you some huge party and invite everyone on campus." He started. "But then I thought about it and realized, this is Patrick. Sweet, quiet, semi anti social Patrick. I was sure you'd rather have an evening out with your closest friends and your boyfriend. So I spent the money on something much better, and more fun then a big party full of drunk off their ass sluts." Pete told him.

"And what might that be?" Patrick asked.

"You'll just have to wait until after dinner to find out. But I know you'll love it."

Patrick sighed. "Fine then."

Brendon and Ryan came back, both with fake pleasant expressions on their faces.

"Sorry about that." Brendon said as they sat back down. "But Ryan promises to be on his best behavior from here on out."

Ryan rolled his eyes and sighed, but then nodded. "Yeah." He mumbled. "It was really nice of you to put this together for Patrick." Ryan mumbled, not meeting his eye.

Patrick looked amused at the obviously forced positive comment from Ryan, whereas Pete look surprised, and Brendon looked at his boyfriend as if he could do better.

"Uh, yeah. Well, he deserves it for putting up with me and everything." Pete said. Ryan nodded in response and looked back down at his food.

~*~

"Will you tell me what the surprise is already? You're driving me crazy." Patrick said as they got back in the car after dinner.

Pete sighed and pulled an envelope out of his jacket pocket, then handed it to Patrick. "Happy birthday Trick." He said. Patrick smiled at him and opened the envelope. His brow furrowed as he pulled out too tickets.

"What are these fo..." He trailed off as he read the name printed across the center of the tickets. His eyes widened and he looked at Pete in shock.

"These are Prince tickets." He deadpanned.

Pete smiled. "I remember you mentioning how obsessed you are with him. And it turns out he's on tour, and I did my research and it was perfect timing."

"Perfect timing...?" Patrick questioned before reading the fine print. His eyes widened even more if possible. "Tonight. These are for tonight." He stated again. "You're taking me to see Prince... tonight... for my birthday."

Patrick's voice lacked emotion, which made Pete nervous. He didn't fuck this up did he? Patrick said he liked Prince right?

"Uh, yeah, if you don't like-"

Pete was cut off by the sudden arms around his neck, then the sudden lips on his own.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou. Thank you so much." He exclaimed between kisses. "Oh my god I don't even know what to say." Kiss. "I love you so much oh my god." Kiss.

Pete turned red. It was the first time Patrick had ever said, "I love you." And it was still pretty soon, Pete wasn't sure if they had met that point yet, and he also wasn't sure if Patrick meant it or if he was just saying it because he was excited and it just came out.

Either way Pete smiled and kissed him on the lips again.

"You're welcome." He said. "The show starts at nine, so we should go get ready." He suggested.

Patrick nodded. "Yeah. Okay. For the record, this is the best fucking birthday ever." He beamed.

Pete smiled even wider. "That's what I was aiming for."