I Want to Hate You Half as Much as I Hate Myself

The next morning, Patrick woke up to a half empty bed, a room smelling of sweat and sex, and everything a disheveled mess. He sat up, rubbed the sleep from his eyes, and stepped out of bed. It wasn't until he felt a cold chill that he realized his clothes were gone, and it wasn't until he tried to walk, that the quite literal pain in his ass caused the remembrance of last nights actions to come flooding back into his memory. 

His eyes widened as the flashback ran through his mind, and his face became flushed. 

Pete lifted his head from Patrick's shoulder, and placing his finger under his chin, and gently turned his face, so his eyes could meet his gaze. 

"You have nice eyes." Pete nearly whispered, his other hand still on the younger boy's thigh. 

Patrick flushed and looked down. 

"Uh, thank you." he mumbled. 

"Mhm." Pete responded, inching his hand up ever so slightly. "Can I buy you a drink?" 

Patrick gulped. "Sure. Thanks." he mumbled, cheeks bright pink. 

Why is this boy making me so nervous? Patrick thought. Oh wait. Probably because his hand is continuously inching up my leg. And he's incredibly good looking. And he seems to be interested, which is strange, considering his social status. Patrick continued to think to himself as he sipped his drink. 

What Patrick didn't know was that Pete's "social status" was all an allusion. Sure he had a lot of "partners" and was never home alone on Friday nights. And sure everyone seemed to know who he was, but he didn't have many real friends. He had Brendon, and that was about it, considering Ryan's hatred towards him. 

Sure people knew who he was, but that didn't mean people liked who he was. He was a good fuck. That's how they saw him, which was fine, because that's how he saw most of them too. 

"Seriously though, your eyes are gorgeous, sexy, beautiful..." Pete whispered into his ear. 

Patrick wasnt sure how to respond. It was obvious this boy wanted to go somewhere, have meaningless sex or whatever, but Patrick had never done anything like that. He'd never gone and just had a hookup, or even sex at all. 

Though that's not something he'd want to admit. In college and he's still a virgin? Definitely not something he'd want people to know. It's not like he's that much of a loser or anything, he's not even saving himself for marriage or "that one special person." he's just been socially awkward his entire life. He's had girlfriends, boyfriends once he figured out he was gay, but things just never seemed to progress enough. At first he wanted his first time to be special, but now he realizes that it doesn't even matter and he just wants to get it over with. Right? He doesn't need some fickle little romantic fairly tale virginity loss. He tells himself. 

"So, do you want to go somewhere maybe?" Pete mumbled, tubing circles on his thigh. 

He doesn't know what made him say yes. Whether it was the boys eyes, his seductive tone, or natural charisma, but he agreed. 

"We can go to my place." Patrick said. 

The older boy smirked, gulped down the rest of his beer, and grabbed Patricks hand. 

"Let's hit it then." he said, leading him out the bar. 

It wad a short ride to Patricks apartment, then a hurried walk through the door. The moment the door closed, it was lips and hips pressed together. And soon enough, clothes were strewn everywhere, and Pete got laid like everyone knew he would. Because he always does.

Patrick glanced at the clock and realized he was late for class. 

~*~

Pete sat in his music appreciation class, spacing out, as usual. The class began, and he was still thinking about the previous night. That cute innocent boy with the beautiful blue eyes, and the strawberry blonde features. He was so obviously a virgin, yet somehow, so good. 

Should Pete feel bad for deflowering the poor boy and just leaving him before he even woke up?

Something in the back of his mind told him he should, but he ignored it as usual. The kid had to have known who Pete was; his reputation. The kid could have said no. He had to have known what he was getting himself into. There's no reason for Pete to feel guilty. 

So he told himself. 

Pete was snapped from his thoughts when familiar blue eyes rushed into the classroom, late, and scanned the place for an available seat. 

Shit. That's right. He's in this class too. Pete thought to himself. He then realized that the only empty seat was right next to him. He pulled his bag off the table and gave the boy a smirk. 

A look of realization washed over the boys features before he flushed a deep red and took the seat next to Pete. 

"Hey." Pete whispered to him. It was odd, Pete didn't usually strike up a conversation with his past hook-ups, but this boy was just to cute. 

"Hey." Patrick muttered back, not meeting his eyes. 

"Do you have yesterdays notes?" Pete whispered in his ear. 

"Uh, yeah." Patrick said as he began to look through his binder. After about a minute of looking he stopped and sighed. "I think I left them on my desk at home. Sorry." he said  

"It's cool." Pete said, slightly disappointed. He had hoped to start an actual conversation. He didn't need fucking notes. He already had Brendon's. 

He was hoping Patrick would invite him back to his apartment for some heated note searching time.

The class ended and Patrick began to pack up his stuff. 

"Hey." Pete said. Patrick stopped and looked at him. 

Pete handed him a slip of paper with his name and number on it. 

"Call me sometime." he said with a wink. Patrick took it, and before he could respond, or even react, Pete was gone. 

~*~

"Hey Pat. Where were you last night? I tried calling but you didn't pick up." Ryan catching up to him as he walked towards the library. 

"I went out." Patrick said. "I needed a break from the stress." 

"Oh I see. I would have invited you over or something, but Brendon surprised me with a fancy dinner and a movie for our six month anniversary. That boy is so cheesy. But it's sweet." Ryan explained. 

"It's okay." Patrick laughed. "I just went out for a drink and stuff." he said leaving out the part about meeting Pete, and the events following. 

"Phew. Sounds intense." Ryan said with a sarcastic grin. 

Patrick rolled his eyes. 

"Did you meet anyone? Perhaps finally loose your virginity?" Ryan said in a mocking tone. 

Rather then glare at Ryan for his remark like he would have usually done, he flushed a bit and kept his eyes on the ground. Patrick was never really good at hiding things. 

Ryan's eyes widened. It didn't help that he could read his best friend like a book. 

"Oh my God. You totally did. Who was it?! Oh my god. You finally lost it. Was it just a hookup or do you have a boyfriend now? Is he cute? You weren't drunk were you? Cuz then I'd have to kick some ass for taking advantage of you. Oh my god you have to tell me everything!" Ryan exclaimed grabbing him by the shoulders. 

"Will you stop acting like a teenage girl?" Patrick said, pushing him off. 

"Sorry, but come on. This is exciting. Can you tell me everything please?" he said, stopping him outside the library. 

"Fine." Patrick said. "It's not that exciting though." 

"The hell it's not. Spill." 

"Fine. We met at the bar. He was being all flirty and bought me a drink, then asked if I wanted to go somewhere, so I brought him back to my apartment , and yeah. He was gone before I woke up." Patrick explained vaguely. 

"Oh man. What a loser.  Who was it anyway? Do I know him?" Ryan asked. 

"Um. You might know of him. He's this kid from my music appreciation class. Pete Wentz I think." Ryan said, trying to recall the boy's name. 

Ryan's eyes widened. "What?! You hooked up with Pete Wentz?!" he exclaimed. 

Patrick shushed him. "A little louder. I don't think the entire campus heard you." he said. 

"You slept with fucking Pete Wentz! Hell, you let him take you virginity!" Ryan exclaimed, slightly quieter. 

"Why is this such a big deal?" Patrick asked. 

"I fucking hate that guy! He's such a man whore and a loser! And he just took my best friends virginity!"

"Do you actually know him?" Patrick asked, somewhat defensively. 

"Yes as a matter of fact, I do. He's Brendon's best friend, and he's like always coming over to leach off Brendon, and... I just can't stand him." Ryan said. 

Patrick sighed. He didn't see anything wrong with him. Okay. So he had loose morals. That didn't make him a bad guy right? 

The piece of paper was burning a hole in his pocket. 

"Patrick, I just don't want to see you get hurt. He'll use you until he gets bored then he'll just leave you alone and a broken mess. I don't want that to happen to you." Ryan said, calmer now. 

"I can take care of myself." Patrick said. 

Ryan nodded, "I know. I'm sorry. But that doesn't make me hate him any less. Just, I think you should stay away from him." Ryan said. 

Patrick nodded. 

"Okay."