I Want to Hate You Half as Much as I Hate Myself

The next morning, Patrick woke up with only a vague memory of the phone call and driving Pete home stoned at two in the morning.

He wasn't all that awake through out the whole thing, in fact he had managed to pass out on his bed fully dressed the minute he got home.

But he was awake now, and thinking about it.

He called Patrick why? Isn't Brendon usually the one taking care of his ass?

But that's not even what matters.

What matters is that Patrick is still confused as fuck as to what their relationship even is.

They hooked up a few times on Pete's accord, so obviously he's attracted to him in one form or another. (He hopes) But then he also took him on that weird awkward date thing. If that's even what it was. And ever since that Pete has refused to spend the night or even make out. But he's calling him up at two in the morning for a ride home? He's not using him right? As someone who will do favors for him and give him the occasional fuck he needs? Even if that were so, why the hell would he take him on a date? There's also the fact that he occasionally gives Patrick these sweet little kisses every now and then.

Like last night.

Patrick continued to think through things, utterly confused.

He liked Pete. He saw what other people didn't. He saw past Pete's reputation, and saw the cute, sweet, but lost guy that Pete was.

But he would also be content just being Pete's friend if that's what it was. He could always use a friend.

He decided the best thing to do would be to confront Pete. Ask him what the hell was going on, and clear things up.

Maybe then he'd sleep better at night.

~*~

"Hey Pete, will you meet me at the park in about ten minutes?" Patrick asked over the phone, deciding it would be best done in person.

"Yeah. Sure. Of course."

Ten minutes later, Patrick walked into the park, and Pete was sitting on a bench facing away from all the people, looking down at his hands.

"Hey." Patrick said, sitting down next to him. Pete looked up and smiled.

"Hey. What's going on?" Pete asked.

"Uh, well I wanted to talk to you, and I thought it would be better if we did it in person."

"Um, okay." Pete said, sounding like he was trying to hide his concern, or worry that this was "The talk." "Shoot." he said. There was a pause while Patrick thought over his exact question.

"Uh, what exactly are we?" Patrick asked, motioning between them, but keeping his eyes focused on the ground.

"What do you mean?" Pete asked.

"I mean, a week or two ago, we were fucking, y'know, hooking up. And I thought that's all it was. But then, you took me on a date... Type thing... And you haven't wanted to... Y'know... Ever since. So I thought we were just friends, but then like last night you kissed me and... I just don't know. I'm confused is all. I just want to know what's going on." Pete finished, still not looking at Pete.

"Um," but when Pete finally spoke after a pause Patrick looked up. "Do you... I mean... Are you not interested in like... Dating?" Pete asked somewhat meekly.

Patrick felt the color flood into his cheeks.

"Uh, n-no, I mean yes, well, no, that's not what I meant." Patrick finally spit out. He then cursed himself in his head. "I mean, if you want to then sure. But of not then, I'm fine with being whatever." There was a pause, and Patrick felt like he had just humiliated himself and kind of wanted to run away.

It was even worse when Pete chuckled.

"What?" Patrick asked.

"Brendon told me I shouldn't consider or even mention sex if I wanted this to work." Pete explained.

Patrick ached an eyebrow. "What?"

Pete sighed as he began his story. "I went to Brendon for advice, because I really liked you, but I havent been in an actual relationship since highschool, so I needed help. He told me I should take you out on a date, and that if I mentioned sex that you'd think that's the only reason why I was doing it. So I was trying to take things slow."

Patricks eyes widened a bit. "So you mean, you want to like... You want me to be your boyfriend?" Patrick asked; his face was on fire.

"That was the plan." Pete said with his famous smirk. "So what do you say?"

"I... Um..." Patrick stumbled over his words.

"I mean, you don't have to. We can go back to just, you know..." Pete rambled quickly when Patrick didn't answer right away.

"No, Pete. Yes. Yes I will." Patrick said, a slight smile on his face.

Pete's face lit up. "Awesome." he said grabbing Patrick's hand. He then leaned forward and placed a quick peck on Patricks lips. "I'd hate to get going, but I have class in twenty minutes. But can we meet after?" Pete asked.

"Yeah." Patrick said.

"Cool. I'll call you." Pete said, toothy grin slapped across his face. Then, before departing, he leaned in for one last kiss.

~*~

"Hey Trick, can I ask you a question?" Pete said, rolling over on his side to look at him. They had met at the now deserted park again when Pete got out of class, and decided to just lay on the grass and star gaze. Just because they could, and they didn't quite feel like dealing with civilization yet.

"Shoot." he responded.

"Why exactly... I mean... Well, why do you like me? I just can't figure it out. No one else seems too. They just like to get off."

Patrick smirked and continued to look up at the stars.

“Well, I don’t see what other’s do I guess. I don’t pay attention to labels or reputations. I see past those things. You’re cute, sweet if you want to be, charming, and just, fun to be around.” Patrick said, thankful that the dark hid his flushed face.

“That could have been dangerous you know.” Pete said, famous smirk returning.

“How?” Patrick asked.

“Because you could have fallen for me, and I could have just completely used you and broke your heart.”

Patrick was silent.

“But you didn’t. And I was completely content with just a one night stand or two as well. I would have been fine. Don’t underestimate me.” Patrick said, turning to look at him, a grin on his face.

Pete smiled and rolled on top of him.

Patrick let out an “Oof” and Pete kissed his cheek, then just looked down at him.

“So,” he started, “What do I like about Patrick?” He leaned down and pecked his lips. “You’re adorable for one.” Patrick raised an eyebrow. Pete chuckled. “You’re a really nice, sweet guy.” He leaned down to kiss him again. “You’re shyness and nervousness is charming.” Kiss. “You have beautiful eyes.” Kiss. “And you like me for who I am.” kiss.

Patrick smiled and reached up to kiss him again.

“Thanks.”