Set Fire to Rain

I held my breath as I decided the steps in my [URL= http://www.polyvore.com/slughorns/set?id=37901059 ] dress [/URL] nervous half to death about what Draco would think when he saw me. I kept fidgeting with the hem and pulling it down, not wanting it to reveal too much, but then cursing myself and pulling it up, reminding myself that I was a Slytherin and it was okay to show leg. I also was nervous to have Harry escort me when I knew Draco was waiting in the hallway. Both of them promised they would just shut their traps, or they knew they would both regret my silent treatment in the end. Especially Harry, who at this point was doing anything to keep our relationship a positive stream.
I let out a sigh of relief when I saw my brother standing at the bottom of the steps in his dress robes. It wasn’t until then that I noticed just how much we looked alike, with our eyes and black hair. I stared at his eyes for a long time, wishing I could remember what my mother looked like. All I had to do was look at him and see my father, the father that I did not have a picture of.
It was in that, that I decided is why I had finally broken down and accepted the truth of myself. I was a monster, and I was bound to destroy everything in my path, but I was also selfish. I was far too selfish to put aside what I should. The need to have parents had grown the moment I saw Harry for the first time, even if I didn’t know it at first. The ache in my heart was at ease around him, just as it was around Draco. I was broken, impaired and quite frankly, reckless.
“What are you thinking about?” Harry asked, breaking me from my thoughts. His face looked serious. “You have that look on your face, like you do when you struggle with yourself.”
I forced a smile. “It’s nothing.”
He frowned, and as if he knew what I was thinking said, “You’re not a monster, Reagan. You’re a human being.”
“I know, Harry. I was just nervous to see Draco, is all.”
He looked less pleased at that, but managed to get out, “You look beautiful- more than beautiful, in fact. He’s lucky to have you, and if I half to I’ll remind that git-“
“Harry-“ Hermione said sharply, coming to my rescue. “You promised her.”
I looked at Hermione to say thank you, but she was already walking away. With a sudden thought, I wondered if maybe she wasn’t saying it to save me. Maybe she was saving it to save Harry, because she truly knew how easy it would be for me to drop him. Hermione was a lot smarter than I thought she was.
We walked out into the hallway and I took a breath and held it, so nervous to see Draco that I wanted to slap myself for being such a little girl about it. I stepped out of the portrait and there he stood, leaning against the wall with his casual swagger, and he looked up at me. The look that overcame his face made my heart beat a million times faster. His face lit up, and he gazed at me like he was seeing the sun for the first time, as if something was lighting up his entire life.
Draco walked towards me without a single word. He stood a hairs breath away from me, causing Harry to walk with the others towards the end of the hallway to give us room quietly. Draco’s ice eyes searched my face and he gently lifted his hand, cupping my cheek and brushing his thumb over my lips, causing me to shiver.
He shook his head. “Nothing in the world should be so beautiful,” he whispered, as if he hadn’t really meant to speak out loud. “Wars are started over this beauty, wars that last forever.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Draco.”
“You are so beautiful, Reagan. I want you to know that. I wish I could be taking you tonight, looking like that. I’ve been blessed with you… I love you.”
Draco kissed me then, slow and lazy as if he were in a daze. And he sounded like he was in a daze when he spoke, as if he were so struck by my appearance that it put him at a loss for words, only able to say exactly what his train of thought was. I kissed him back eagerly, and finally broke away at last, knowing I needed to get a move on.
“I love you too, Draco. With all my heart, but I must go. I’ll see you in the common room after?” I asked hopefully, brushing his lips one more time after he nodded.
I quickly made my way down the hallway, feeling light and on air the entire time I was walking. I felt like the first time I had rode a broom stick, unstable but so euphoric that I could fall to the ground and make a bed in my own clouds of happiness. That is what Draco did to me. This is what he turned me into. A giddy little girl.
*
The party was already in swing when we arrived, and I had to say many people gave Harry and I second glances when we walked in, clearly still not used to the fact that we were on good terms now, since I had very publicly threatened him. It turned out that Hermione’s date, Cormac was annoying as could be, and he was tearing on my nerves horribly as we progressed throughout the night. I could see why it caused her so much strain to deal with him. He was like a blast-ended skrewet, maybe even worse.
I spoke quietly to Harry and Hermione for most of the night and shared a dance with Harry and even Blaise, whom to my relief was part of the Slug Club. Blaise asked several questions as to how I was convinced to come here and even I wondered that myself. One look at the Slytherin’s faces in the room and I knew I had finally lost all of their respect. As far as they were concerned, my mark no longer made me a Death Eater if I was fraternizing with the enemy.
It was when I was talking with Blaise quietly that a commotion stirred at the door and everyone turned in silence to see what was going on. Filch came in, dragging Draco in tow, making my heart skip a beat in fear and anger at the same time. What on earth had he done that Filch was dragging him here? Eavesdropping on me?
“Found this one lurking about the corridor, says he was invited to your party?” Filch asked doubtfully.
Draco ripped away from him. “Okay, okay, I was gate-crashing.”
“I’ll escort Mr. Malfoy,” Snape said slowly, moving in like he always did to save Malfoy.
“I’ll be joining you,” I snapped, glaring daggers at Draco, who refused to look at me. Snape raised his eyebrows and said nothing. Without a single word or look at my brother, I stormed out after Snape, knowing that this couldn’t be good.