Set Fire to Rain

Three heads turned around to face me, all terrified at being caught in their pathetic little act. I sneered at them all, eyes narrowed in a challenge. I didn’t move, but rather stared at them, eyes flashing and waiting for them to come down from the roof. They would not spy on Draco and get away with it, oh no. killing was nothing to me now- I had done it once and I could easily do it again.

The three kids exchanged glances and slide down off the roof, very tense and watching me with intense gazes. There was one girl, very pretty and fair with gorgeous light brown eyes and waving light brown hair. She glared at me and I got the feeling that she was a bright witch; the intelligence shone through her eyes. The other two were boys, one read head who scowled at me fiercely although he didn’t seem to make the move to do anything. The red hair gave away exactly what family he belonged to- I had heard stories.
Yet it was the remaining boy who held my attention and made my breath catch- but for a single moment. His hair was jet black and disheveled, face very handsome and strong, with sharp cheekbones. He looked tired, as if he had been unable to sleep properly for days. His eyes were electrifying blue that had hints of green- exactly the same pair I looked into every time I saw a mirror. I glanced at his forehead and I broke out into a sneer, barring my teeth preadtorilly at them.

“You seem to be eavesdropping yourself,” the girl spoke up, voice defiant. I cocked my head at her and laughed harshly.
“What do you think spying on Draco is going to do for you, hmm? Concerned maybe he’s a death eater? I believe you have others to worry about rather than Draco, Potter.”
He stared at me for a long time, as if trying to figure me out. “Who are you?”
“It doesn’t matter,” was my reply and I glanced at the three, deciding what I was going to do. “Consider this the only warning and excuse you get from me- the next time we come across one another in an ally, I’ll kill you were you stand.”
I turned to walk away and heard Harry call, “Who do you think you are?” without turning and looking at them I called back in a rueful voice, “Don’t you worry about that Harry Potter. Don’t you worry about that at all.”
I decided not to tell anyone about the run in with my brother- Voldemort would torture me with means worse than the cruciatus curse if he knew I revealed myself to my brother. But I know that he could never guess who or what I was. He has lived for 16 years believing me dead, possibly not even knowing he had a sister to begin with. I could care less- it was the one gift I owe to my brother for being my brother.
Draco glanced at me when I walked in, giving me a questioning look. I held up my hand to show a snake ring, one that he had gotten me for my birthday a few years ago. He nodded his head as if he believed me, but I got the sense that although he wasn’t going to ask, that he knew I was lying, so I took his hand gently to assure him that I wasn’t. I was good at things like that.
“Are you sure you’re going to remember the words?” the store owner looked at Draco and barely glanced at me.
Draco nodded, “Yes, I will. I’ll teach them to my friend here as well.”
“Alright, just be careful. She’s temper mental.”
“Believe me,” Draco muttered, looking at me. “I know the type.” I simply sneered at him with a curled upper lip.

We left Borgin and Burkes and stood, quietly talking outside of the dark magic shop. When we got ready to leave, Draco told us that he had forgotten something entirely that he needed and that we could go ahead and head back to the Manor, he would come back to Borgin and Burkes and use the floo network to get back to the manor. His father didn’t seem to care whether he came back or not, Naricissa reluctantly agree.
I caught his wrist as he turned, “Draco, be careful. You never know whose eyes are fallowing you.” Draco’s gaze lingered on me before it flicked to the sides as if he understood and he nodded once before briefly saying goodbye and leaving the ally. I turned to Narcissa who smiled softly and offered her arm. I shut my eyes and placed my hand on her arm, instantly sucked into a black vortex.

*
Back at the Malfoy Manor, I sat on my large, silver blanketed bed, flipping through pages of my 6th year books. They were quiet lovely, but I knew they were a waste of money- I knew many of the things that were in them. Draco had even suggested I get a book of spells, just to learn simple things I may have never been taught. There were hundreds of them, but one in particular caught my eye. In elegant script the words Expecto patronum: Conjures an incarnation of the caster's innermost positive feelings, such as joy, hope, or the desire to survive, known as a Patronus. A Patronus is conjured as a protector, and is a weapon rather than a predator of souls: Patronuses shield their conjurors from Dementors or Lethifolds, and can even drive them away. A Patronus "cannot feel despair, as real humans can, so Dementors can't hurt it. The conjured Patronus protects the witch or wizard that summoned it, obeys his or her commands, and fades away shortly after it is no longer required. When conjured, a Patronus appears silvery, ethereal, and semi-transparent. Improperly formed Patronuses range from momentary formless bursts of silvery mist, to poorly-defined forms that are easily defeated or quickly dissipate on their own.

Now I knew I would never need a Patronus, for I was the darkness that they most nearly fought off. But the spell really spiked my curiosity and inspired a theory. If you could keep a Patronus going, and it was the very core of your sole that it was formed from, made to fit you, it could probably do more than just protect you. It could contain messages for you, perhaps or travel somewhere. As interesting as it all sounded, I needed to be able to conjure it first.
I closed the book and hopped up from my bed, wand in hand. I tried to think of a happy memory- the happiest I’ve ever had. A picture came into my mind of the day the Dark Lord excepted me, the day I knew that my life meant something- that I could be someone. It made me smile to know I was important for something in this world, that I wasn’t just a random person who would die with nothing to be remembered for.

Flourishing my wand, I spoke loud and clear, “Expecto Patronum!” for a moment my tip letting a silvery wisp of light from my wand, but instantly it faded again, definitely not forming into a patronus. I glared at the wand and took a stance and tried again, going through anything of my memories that I thought were happy.
I tried for and hour to get the charm right, and time after time all I got was a moment of silver, sometimes nothing at all. I couldn’t even get a shield of silver- nothing. I was getting frustrated now and I stormed out of my room and down the stairs, knocking over a house elf and cursing with new found invective at the innocent elf to get out of my way next time or I’d cut off his fingers.

I practiced in the ballroom- which unless we were having a party was used for dueling- and blasted objects to oblivion. The small house elf in the corner shook every time she placed more objects in front of me. The elf conjured a large grandfather clock and I turned my back to it, seething and breathing hard. I spun on me heel and threw my wand out, bellowing, “Confringo!” The curse hit the clock and exploded it into flame, pieces of wood burning in the room.

“Aguamenti.” Water shot at the flames and put them out. I turned to find the source of the spell- Draco. He gave me a curious look but did not approach. I turned away from him, facing burning and clutching my wand. I looked at the scorch marks on the floor, the charred wood that was turning to ash and the trembling house elf.
“What’s wrong?” I flinched at the closeness of Draco’s voice, breath on my neck. I turned and faced him, eyes fixed in anger and frustration, mouth in a frown.
“I can’t get this bloody spell right! I’ve never had a problem with a spell- ever!” I seethed, walking away from him and throwing my wand at the wall. Anger boiled inside me, nearly bursting over the edge again, but with a look at the massacre I made I regretted how petty and stupid my rage was.
“A spell?” Draco asked, as if the idea stumped him. “You can’t let a spell get you this upset ray… no offense it’s mental. You’re not going to be able to understand every spell in the world with a lot of practice. What spell was it anyways?”
I sniffed in indifference although I knew he was being quite rational. “A patronus charm.”
Draco’s face screwed up and he shook his head, saying, “We can’t cast patronus charms.”
“What do you mean ‘we’ and why not?”

“’We’ as in death eaters, and because patronus charms are the very embodiment that is meant to fight off everything we are, all the things we are made of. Why would we attempt to produce a charm that wards against ourselves.” I stared at Draco for a long time, considering what he said. I had not looked at it from that view, that maybe all my happy memories were exactly what the charm was supposed to prevent- evil and darkness.
“I had a theory I wanted to test,” I said absently, looking over Draco’s blonde head. “I can change many things, if this theory is so… but I cannot do it without a patronus.”
Draco seemed to consider my words. “Then maybe you should think of something that it would prosper from, something… good, pure. You’ve seen a lot of darkness, and so have I, so it’s going to be difficult, but I’m sure you can come up with some sort of image in your head that is light and good-hearted enough.”
“But it has to be a memory,” I protested, shaking my head.
Draco smirked at me. “Says who?” I remained silent as Draco walked past me and picked up my wand, looking at it for a moment before smiling reassuringly and giving it to me. I looked down at it, unsure of myself but decided to take Draco’s advice.

I thought long and hard about possibilities, but none of them were “good”. They were still dark, and I knew none of them would work. Then a thought came to mind, a memory but not really, it was more of a thought that I had a very long time ago, when I was very young at a picnic with Draco and his mother in the gardens. I had long since changed my mind set since that day, but the thought… it was the purest I had ever had, before I had turned, it was good.. in more ways then one. It had to work.

I took my stance and focused on that image from so long ago that I had conjured, and let it fill me up inside. For a moment I saw everything as it was before me that day, and I was filled with something foreign and light. Suddenly it filled me up with so much feeling that I thought it would explode from me in waves. Taking that as a good sign, I near shouted the words, “Expecto patronum!”
A jet of silver light came fluid out of my wand and I watched with awe as is spun in front of me and took a form. The silver creature moved in front of me and as I tried to figure out what it was, I gasped in delight at it’s movement. Long silvery wings unfurled and flapped, and the reptilian creature turned to look at me, spins running down it’s back and elegant, regal features. My patronus was a beautiful dragon, something totally unexpected.
“Bloody hell,” Draco murmured, looking in amazement at the creature. It launched itself into the air and flew around the room, I turned to watch it, smile spreading across my face.
I was so happy in that moment, that I didn’t even know what I was feeling was a pureness- something death eaters do not possess. In that moment, I never knew that.
That moment, was the last time I would feel pure.