In the Beginning

School had gone by the same as the day before had. It was long and boring, Matt asked awkward questions and still no sign of Jimmy. He figured he would see him at band practice that night, so he didn’t let himself think about it.

After school Zack walked to Matt’s house, instead of trying to catch a ride with Matt himself, wanting to postpone his arrival at said house. He was going, but that didn’t mean he had to get there on time. He didn’t know why he was acting like this, he hated people that acted like hurt puppies, and yet here he was puppying it up. He scoffed at his ridiculousness and walked faster. Who cares that the father of his stupid little mistake was there, he’d already come to terms with that. He didn’t like Jimmy. Seriously, he thought, with the way you’re acting people would think that you actually care. He didn’t, really.

Behind him he heard someone call his name and rushed footsteps, “Hey! Zack, wait up!” Zack stopped and turned to see that it was Brian.

“Oh, hey Brian,” he sighed.

“Hey,” he panted, “I tried calling your name for, like, five minutes.”

Zack started walking, “Oh, sorry, must’ve been deep in thought.”

Brian laughed, Zack never knew what Brian thought was funny, seeing as he never thought he said anything funny. He just laughed along to please him, “Why are you walking anyway?”

Zack gave a questioning look, “I could ask you the same question.”

Brian laughed again, “Well, I was going to catch a ride with Matt, but I saw you walking and I tried to get your attention, but you were ‘deep in thought,’ or something.”

“So you decided to walk?” Zack seriously didn’t understand Brian sometimes.

“Yep,” he said, and then added, “So, how are you?”

Zack tried to smile, “I’m tired and I puked three times today, I’m just peachy.”

Brian gave a sympathetic glance, but Zack ignored it, he hated all the sympathy he was receiving as of late. Zack smiled back, “Look, you don’t have to act like I’m dying, it’s not that serious.”

Brian shook his head, “but it is, you’re just a teenager and you haven’t even told your parents.”

He bowed his head, “Yeah, well it’s just that I’m nervous about it. I’m going to tell them soon and I’m sure they’ll be disappointed and will never look at me the same again, but I don’t think they’ll be that mad.”

Brian sighed, “Well, you’re still just a teenager.”

Zacky nodded, “Yes I am.” He said just as they reached the front door of their destination, and Zacky realized that he hadn’t noticed where he was walking the whole time. They just walked in as opposed to ringing the doorbell, seeing as Matt’s mom had given up the battle to try and make them. They headed to the basement and found that everyone was already there, including Jimmy.

Jimmy had looked up to see Brian, his best friend, walk in with Zacky. He was not one to jump to conclusions, but he knew that Brian liked Zacky and knew he would do cheesy things like walk him to a house that was only two blocks away. He scoffed, like Brian had a chance. He’d have Zacky so in love with him before the kid even popped out.

He knew that he had made a mistake the day Zacky told them all, he should have just owned up to it and inserted himself into Zacky’s life then and there. It’s just he had been so surprised and panicked that he hadn’t known what to say. He definitely didn’t think that Zacky would get pregnant when he had slept with him at that party, he should’ve, but he was just so drunk that he forgot that Zacky was even a carrier. He also didn’t think that when he woke up the next morning that Zacky would be gone. Both facts were both giant speed bumps in the plan that he had to get Zacky.

He’d always thought Zacky was just one of those shy little carriers who liked to play hard to get. When Zack purposefully ignored him, he’d just thought it was him trying not to laugh or trying not to seem to into him. So he just kept acting cocky and like the badass that he knew he was, because he thought Zacky liked that even though he never admitted it. And when Val’s party rolled around and Zacky was practically begging for him, he just assumed that Zacky had finally given into his feelings and was finally willing to be Jimmy’s boyfriend.

Maybe that hadn’t been the case though, maybe Zacky really hadn’t liked him. Maybe that was why he’d woken up the next morning alone, without Zacky right next to him like he thought he would be. But then again, he thought, maybe Zacky was still just shy around him. He was going to let himself think that, because the other option hurt.

Matt turned and glanced at the pair, “Well, look who showed up,” he grinned.

Zack scowled and Brian shrugged, “We’re not late, you guys are just losers that show up before practice even begins.”

Matt scoffed, “Please, like you’re anywhere near as cool as I am. Last time I checked, the bitches love me, not you.”

Zack rolled his eyes, the guys could be so idiotic, “You could not pay me to even go near you, Matt.”

“Well you don’t count,” Matt stated, but before Zack could smack him he added, “That is, because you’re not a bitch, way too sweet for that.”

Watching Zacky interact with Matt so easily made Jimmy want to claw his eyes out. Matt acted just as immature as him, why was Matt able to be so close to him? All he wanted was to have that with Zack, but now he realized, that maybe he had gone about it the wrong way.

I just have to change my tactics, he thought, “Hey Zack,” he burst out, “I like your hair today.” He placed what he hoped to be a warm smile on his face, and he twirled his drum stick between his fingers to show off a little.

Zack glanced up, surprised, was Jimmy being serious? “Um, thanks?” he replied, not really sure what else to say.

Jimmy grinned at him, my plan is working already, “Yeah, and you don’t look fat yet or anything!” he continued to smile at his success but it faded when Zack frowned.

Zack’s stare turned to the floor, “You don’t need to mock me.”

Matt whirled around and gave a confused stare at Jimmy, what was that? He mouthed, and Jimmy had no idea what that was. His eyes shot back to Zacky, who had newly formed tears that he was so desperately trying to hold back, “No, th-that’s not-” he stuttered.

Brian glared at Jimmy, “Wow, way to be a jackass Jim.” He hissed and turned to Zack, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, “You okay, Zacky?”

God, why had he said that? He didn’t want Zacky to think that he was just trying to mock him.

Zack sniffed and quickly wiped away his tears, “Yeah, I’m fine, can we just practice already?”

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After practice, they all decided it was the worst that they had ever had. Whether it be that their bassist was being lazy, or that Brian and Jimmy couldn’t stop staring at Zacky, who was distracted and possibly emotionally compromised.

Though, Jimmy was just staring at Zacky hoping that he would look back and see that he really didn’t mean what he said. Well, he meant it, but not in the way Zacky took it. It really was a compliment; people don’t like being told that they’re fat. He also took a couple glances at the stomach where there was supposedly a fetus inside. It made no bump yet, though, so it was hard to imagine that there actually could be something floating inside Zack.

Brian was staring at Zacky because he thinks he’s cute. His mind was also on the baby thing also, a little, and on how he thought he would make a better boyfriend than Jimmy. He loved Jimmy, he really did, but everyone knew that Brian was more stable than Jim. He felt horrible about even thinking it, but came to the conclusion that it was true.

Zack packed quickly, then trying to escape the basement as fast as possible. He just wanted to go home, put on some Celine Dion and have a good cry, but of course he could never get what he wanted, “Zacky, hey.”

Zacky gave a quick glace up at Jimmy and turned his attention to his guitar case, “Um, I just wanted to apologies, I didn’t mean what I said earlier as an insult.”

Zacky nodded, “It was still hurtful, you know?” He set his guitar down besides the couch; he didn’t want to bother taking it home today. The chances of him practicing today were slim. He had a lot of home work, and a lot of daydreaming of a better life, to do.

“I know, I just don’t know what else to say.” Jimmy sighed.

Zacky sighed and nodded again, “Well, I’m going home now.”

“Can I walk with you?” Jimmy asked, hopefully. Zacky stared up at Jimmy; it was weird to him how Jimmy could just act like there was nothing wrong. Jimmy was just acting like Zacky was actually his friend and like there wasn’t this whole awkward baby situation going on. A few weeks ago, Jimmy wouldn’t even take the time to talk to Zacky in a way that wasn’t completely annoying, or rude. Even a few days ago he had said he didn’t even want to have anything to do with the baby.

Zack shook his head, “No, I think I’m good.” The tone of voice he used may’ve been a little on the harsh side, but he just couldn’t deal with Jimmy. All he could think about when he looked at the lanky man was the baby. Plus the fact that he hated Jimmy and would never walk home with him in a million years.

Zacky turned and stormed away, leaving Jimmy alone speechless. Jimmy wanted to just blame Zacky’s attitude towards him on the hormones from the pregnancy, but he was starting to think that it was something else entirely.