Whispers in the Dark

I suppose I’ve always been considered to be the ' normal ’ kid. The one who gets by without anyone noticing them much. The one with big dreams that they keep quiet. And I guess those people are right, I do appear normal . But sometimes, like my grandma always used to say, things aren’t always the way they appear. Most people don’t know that the tattoos that litter my arms and legs are there to hide scars, inflicted on me by those who didn’t care. These people don’t know that I dress this way because I’m no longer scared of what they think, I‘m not afraid of being me anymore. They don’t know that I want to be a psychologist so that I can maybe someday help those like me. I want to make a difference but no one knows. They barely even notice short, punk kid Frank Iero. To them I am nothing and, surprisingly, I have become okay with that fact.

I scrunch up my eyes as sunlight streams in through open curtains. Mikey always ‘forgets’ to close them. I’m pretty sure he does it so that my hangover is aggravated. My nerdy best friend seems to get enjoyment from my pain. Deciding it was useless trying to go back to sleep I rolled out of the small camp bed, a permanent feature in the corner of Mikey’s room. I glance over at him and he’s still curled up, deep in sleep and with a big smile on his face. Dreaming of Alicia no doubt. They were perfect together and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little jealous of their in your face happiness.

My head began pounding and I groaned softly. Why did drinking yourself into oblivion always seem like a good idea even though you knew the pain it would result in? Softly, I padded my way down the stairs and into the kitchen where I knew the painkillers were stored. Mikey’s family, the Ways, treated me like family and I knew I could help myself to anything that would lessen the throbbing pain piercing my skull.

In the kitchen I was surprised to see the elder Way son, Gerard, sitting at the table nursing a cup of coffee in his slender, artist’s hands. I had known Mikey nearly sixteen years and spent most of my free time in his house yet I could probably count up the amount of times I‘d seen his older brother around the house using only my fingers. It wasn’t that he was never around; He was just anti-social I guess. He spent a lot of time in his dimly lit basement room, painting and drawing to his heart‘s content. Even in school you’d rarely see him, unless you took the time to seek him out in the art rooms where he spent his lunch breaks.
“Morning,” He greeted me, barely above a whisper. “There’s coffee made if you want some.”
I smiled gratefully, the thought of having to make my own coffee really did not appeal to me this early, “Thanks. Any painkillers?”
He nodded and pointed to a cupboard beside the oven, “In there. The white bottle.”
I thanked him again and quickly grabbed two, downing them quickly with the hot coffee. Glancing at the clock I saw it was only half ten. Mikey wouldn’t be awake for at least another hour, so I decided to hang in the kitchen and chat with Gerard. He and Mikey were real close but I’d never really had a chance to get to know the elder Way. I knew he was an aspiring artist who was currently a senior and one who hoped to go to art school in New York next year, but that was it. So I sat down at the small kitchen table and smiled across at the raven-haired boy, he returned it with a small, timid smile. He was so socially awkward it was kind of adorable.
“So how’re you Gerard?”
He shrugged and replied softly, “I’m okay, I guess. You?”
For a moment I wondered if his voice was naturally that soft or if he was just being considerate of my obvious hangover, “Meh, the same.”
We lapsed into silence and Gerard looked uncomfortable, like he was thinking really hard about something he’d rather forget. His eyes were scrunched up and he was biting down on his bottom lip.
“Hey dude, you okay?”
His head snapped up and he gave me a shaky smile that didn‘t reach his scared hazel eyes, “Y…yeah, fine. Why?”
I raised an eyebrow at his reaction, “You just looked a little…out of it or something.”
“Uh yeah… I just spaced I guess.”
I didn’t really believe him, he had definitely been thinking about something, but I let it slide. It was too early to argue and I didn’t think my head could take it.
“I don’t mean to be rude or anything but-” His whisper like voice slightly startled me and I looked up to see slightly apologetic hazel eyes. “Why did you stay over last night? I thought Mikey was with his girlfriend.”
I nodded, “Yeah he was, but when Alicia went home he joined me at this kick ass party. He let me stay because I was too shitfaced to face facing my… going home.”
I almost said Mom, even after all this time.
“Oh.”
It went awkwardly quiet but I didn’t mind. Silences soothe me, help me relax, let me think. Gerard on the other hand, seemed to hate silence. He looked uncomfortable and awkward. He couldn’t seem to sit still, constantly fidgeting with his long, slender fingers and biting down on his lip. It began to irritate me, to the point that I couldn’t stand to be in the same room as him. I rose quickly from the table, dumped the remains of my coffee into the sink and mumbled a goodbye to Gerard as I left the room. My headache worse than ever.