Whispers in the Dark

Everyone has skeletons in their closet, and I mean everyone . Every single person on the face of the earth has those things they're ashamed of, their dirty little secrets. The things they'd never tell anyone. If my closet were real it'd be overflowing, the door barely staying shut with a lock to stop them all from spilling out. I have so many secrets, so many things I hide from the world. 

High school. Whoever thought it was a good idea should be taken out and shot. In the face. Multiple times. But school in Belleville, New Jersey has got to be the worst. It is beyond painful to attend school here. Walking through the main doors it always feels like you're entering some clichéd teen movie. Brightly coloured banners notifying the student body of the upcoming game or reminders of Homecoming King and Queen nominations adorn the pale yellow walls. The jocks and cheerleaders stand around, laughing, enjoying the fact that they own the school. The popular kids always rule the school, don't they? It's like some law or something. They sit atop the Homecoming or Prom thrones with their handful of close friends from within their clique and have the "less cool" kids be their minions - the kids who'll do anything for just a small taste of popularity, to see how the other half live. Teenagers are fickle, their minds easily manipulated by what they are told is "normal" . 

I made my way through the crowds of people, my head hung low and my fingers fiddling with the hem of my black Ramones t-shirt. All of a sudden, a hand appeared out of nowhere and pushed me into a locker. 
"Emo faggot!"
People laughed and I just rubbed my sore shoulder, continuing down the corridor, keeping my head down, my eyes focused solely on the floor. It wasn't worth the effort protesting anymore. The bullies never left me alone, no matter what I did, or didn't, do. I never did anything to hurt anyone, but that didn't seem to make a difference to the popular kids, they were still intent on making my life Hell. It was easier just to ignore the blows and the hurtful words. 
Don't lie Gerard, you know it bothers you. You know it's all true.
I bit my lip and blinked back the threatening tears, I wouldn't do for my fellow students to see me cry. It would only add fuel to the already raging fire. Instead, I let my long black hair fall forward to cover my eyes and scurried down the hall to my class. 

Lunch. The worst part of every school day. I have no friends to sit with in the cafeteria - well there's always Mikey, but I don't like to intrude on the time he spends with his friends - so I usually end up in the library. 
Belleville High library is, in one word, useless . Its books are dated; it's computers broken, and it's always quiet. Mrs. Cusick sees to that - breathe too loud and she'll kick you out faster than you can say 'What the fudge?'
The silence bothers me to say the least, for it is in those silences that my thoughts really begin to torment me. 
Awh, is Gerard all alone again?
Fattie!
Does no-one want to eat lunch with the emo faggot?
Fucking loser!

It took all my willpower to stay strong and not cry. Instead, I found a pencil and some paper and began to draw. Anything that came to mind was thrown on the page: vampires, zombies, lyrics, unicorns, quotes, superheroes...everything. Drawing soothes me. When I'm drawing all is calm within my mind. The voices seem to take a break. They just sit back and let me do my thing, not saying a word. Drawing is the only time I ever get peace. 

The old library door squeaked and I looked up to see who had entered. It was rare for anyone other than me to be in the dimly lit room during lunch. I spotted a familiar red and black haired teen entering the musty old library. He looked so lost as he scanned the rather large room and I wondered if he had ever actually been in the room before. 
Suddenly he was waving enthusiastically at me. I forced my lips to form a smile and returned his wave. 
Notice how he checked the entire library before waving? I bet he didn't want to be seen acknowledging you. Can't say I blame him...
The voice was snide and sarcastic, muttering softly at the back of my head. It was quieter than usual, but more hurtful. Yet again, I found myself biting back tears. 
"Hey Gerard," Frank flashed me a brilliant smile as he took a sear opposite me and my stomach twisted nervously. 
"H...hi Frank," I whispered, my eyes downcast. 
You can't even talk without sounding like a failure.
"Why're you in here on such a nice day?"
I shrugged, bringing my eyes up to rest on his childlike face, watching as his pink tongue flicked nervously at the small, silver ring in his bottom lip, "Uhm... I always spend lunch in here."
He raised one delicate eyebrow in disbelief, seemingly unable to believe that one could sit in a library at lunch everyday, "Really? I'm only here to study for some stupid Math test."
I just nodded and returned to my drawing. The silence gnawed a me and I almost wished Frank would talk to me, anything to escape the already invading voices. My eyes were glued to the punk boy as he opened his textbook and attempted to study. I wondered why he had sat with me of all people. The voices kept telling me it wasn't because he pitied me. 
He thinks you're pathetic...
Worthless...
Friendless...

"Hey man, you okay?" Frank touched my hand with his and I instinctively flinched away. Hurt flashed in his hazel-green eyes, but before I could wonder why, a smile forced its way onto his face once more. 
I returned the smile with a strained one of my own, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little distracted."
He nodded his red and black head and shot me another, more sincere, smile before returning his attention to the fat Math book and the smaller notebook in front of him. My own eyes dropped to the mess of doodles before me and I picked up my pencil to continue drawing aimlessly. 

A silence descended on us but, for once, it wasn't filled with the whispering of nasty voices. It was a comfortable silence and I felt at ease for the first time in months. It was strange that this boy, whom I barely knew, could have such a calming effect on the voices that lurked in the darkest corners of my mind. They were muted in his presence and it was nice. 

His gaze was fixated on me. I could feel those green tinted hazel eyes watching me as my hand flew across the page, covering every little space with some drawing. 
"Hey. That looks a little like me," Frank pointed at a drawing right in the middle of the page. It was a small drawing of a young teen with hair similar to Frank's - though without the colour of course - and a mischievous grin playing on the corners of his lips. "Were you drawing me Gerard?"
Heat flooded my usually pale cheeks and I knew my face probably resembled a tomato, "N...no... I-I w...wasn't..."
He laughed, a girlish sound that echoed in the near empty room and got him a glare from Mrs. Cusick, "I'm only buzzing with you man."
I smiled, looking down at the small sketch, "It does look a little like you, I guess." 
The drawing did bear a striking resemblance to the short boy sat opposite me. I wondered why my subconscious had made me draw him. 

"Hey. Do you understand algebra?" He asked in a surprisingly timid voice. 
I smiled and nodded, "Yeah, why? Do you need help?"
A meek nod was his only response. 
After stretching I stood up and made my way over to his side of the table. I took the seat beside his and grabbed the open notebook lying in front of him, in an effort to make sense of what he was studying. 
"Frank. It's no wonder you don't get this," I shook my head in despair. "Your notes are terrible."
He giggled a little and I couldn't help but smile at the adorable sound, "Sorry. I just get bored so they end up being crap."
I rubbed my hand across my creased forehead, in an effort to massage away the beginnings of a headache as I tried to understand Frank's crazy chicken scrawl. 
"Oh, this is just the basics. It's actually pretty easy once you understand it."
"So, you can help me?" He asked in a shy voice, as if expecting me to say no. 
"'Course I will."



It was nearing the end of lunch and Frank was finally understanding the equations in his textbook, even if he didn't always get them right. 
"Gah!" He dropped his head to desk in frustration. "I can't do this dude!"
I slipped the notebook out from under his head and looked over the question he was attempting, chewing on top of my pencil. 
"You went wrong here," I mumbled around the pencil as I indicated the mistake with my finger. "You just multiplied wrong."
He lifted his head up and stares at me incredulously, "Are you serious? That's all?"
Nodding, I pointed at the mistake again and he just laughed at the simple error. This laugh was different to the others, it was like candy floss and angels' harps. Sweet and beautiful.  
I blushed when I realised I was staring. He probably thought I was being creepy. But, instead of acting weirded out, he just smiled and continued with his work, fixing the problem I had pointed out to him. As he worked, his tongue slipped out between his plump lips. Subconsciously, I licked my own lips, wondering what his pouty ones would taste like. 
Suddenly the doors creaked open once again and I turned to see who it was, looking to distract myself from the pretty boy beside me. 
At first I didn't see anyone, but then there was that all too familiar mop of shaggy, unkempt, black hair and those piercing blue eyes that could cut right through me. I froze as he held my gaze and moved to sit at a table near mine and Frank's, making me uncomfortable. I couldn't move, couldn't breathe, couldn't even form coherent thoughts. 

"Gerard? Gee? You okay?"
The unfamiliar nickname snapped me out of my zombielike state. 
"Y...yeah. I'm fine," I shook my head to dispel all thoughts of the guy whose icy eyes were still boring holes into the side of my face, and smiled at the sort boy sitting beside me. "Gee, really?"
He shrugged, a light blush dusting his Italian features, "I dunno. Just thought it suited you."
I nodded, "Hmmm...I like it."
A grin lit up his face, "Good, 'cause I was going to call you it anyway...Gee."
I giggled quietly, before clearing my throat and pointing at his paper, "You need to square both sides to solve this one."
He just nodded and continued working whilst I tried to distract myself from the eyes that were now glaring at me. Those cold blue eyes that haunted my dreams.