Whispers in the Dark

The library was, as per usual, quiet. And for the first time ever, it calmed me. Ever since the incident in the bathroom that morning I had been on edge. So much so that even the voices had been relatively quiet.
Frank had felt the scar on my stomach. My souvenir from an abuser. My shameful secret. That scar held so many bad memories and I had hoped that no one would ever see it. Well, anyone besides Mikey, but then again, family doesn’t really count. I had hoped that I could hide it away from everyone so I wouldn’t have tell them how I had gotten it, even Mikey didn’t know the real story and I never planned on telling him.

The library door creaked open, distracting me from my thoughts. I looked up and, just like last week, I was greeted by that now familiar red and black haired teen. He scanned the entire library before he finally found my eyes and then, he smiled. My heart began pounding as he approached and I had to wipe my sweaty palms on the legs of my black jeans. As he came closer I saw his smile falter and the sparkle fade from his eyes. I frowned before realising that I had not been smiling back so I pulled up the corners of my lips in a faint smile and waved a small wave. His grin returned and he took a seat opposite me, dropping his backpack to the floor.
“Hey Gee,” He greeted me as he took a small, blue lunchbox from his bag.
“Hey Frankie,” I mumbled a reply as I tried to avoid staring longingly at his food. The smell of salad sandwiches wafted through the air and I had to clench my stomach muscles to stop it from protesting at not being fed.
Frank caught my hungry eyes staring at his food and he laughed softly, “You want some Gee?”
I bit my lip and shook my head, “No. I’m good.”
My stomach chose that moment to growl loudly and heat flooded my cheeks as Frank smiled and shook his head.
“You sure, dude? I’ve got loads spare.”
I stared at the food for a second or two, debating with myself, before nodding my head, “I’m sure.”
His bright eyes looked at me suspiciously before he shrugged and picked up an apple. He bit down and tore off some of the fruit’s red flesh. My stomach muscles spasmed at the sight. I was so hungry.
As he ate Frank eyed me up and down, as if evaluating me. He wanted to ask me about the incident in the bathroom. I could see it in those hazel eyes as he watched me, the urge to question my reaction in the restrooms and to ask about the disgusting scar on my stomach. But, to my surprise, he didn’t say a word as he nibbled on his lunch, just continued to stare at me, as if my face held the answers to all his unspoken questions.

In order to distract him from whatever he was thinking about me I brought up the first thing that popped into my mind, “What happened to you last week? You were a bit out of it when Mikey and I picked you up on Saturday.”
He turned away, his eyes looking anywhere but into my own, “Nothing.”
It was obvious something had happened. Something big . But before I could ask the short boy sitting opposite me to tell the truth he spoke again.
“Hey Gee, there’s a small get-together tomorrow at my friend’s house, you wanna come?”
I bit my lip and concentrated on the scratched wooden table, trying to decipher the carvings that had been made by students over the years. Phrases like ‘Adam was here’ and ‘Tom is a fag’ were cut into the wood – the ever original mind of the average teenager.
“Uhm, I dunno Frankie,” I mumbled, my eyes still focused on the boring graffiti. “I think I’m busy tomorrow.”
He laughed, a loud obnoxious sound in the otherwise quiet room. I looked up and he was watching me with one eyebrow arched and a small smirk playing on his lips, his silver lip ring catching in the sunlight that filtered through the grimy windows. “C’mon Gee,” He whined. “You and I both know you don’t have anything better to do, Mikey told me so. Please come?”
His eyes went wide and resembled those of a puppy as he begged me, his bottom lipping jutting out and all. There’s no way I could refuse him. I didn’t want to go to the ‘small get-together’ . In fact, I’d rather of just stayed home all weekend, wallowing in my own misery. But, Frankie's pleading face made all my refusals die before they reached my mouth. It was impossible to refuse this bright and bubbly teen with his childlike face.
I sighed loudly and rolled my eyes towards heaven, “Yeah, sure. I’ll come.”
He grinned, showing me all of his teeth, “Yay! You won’t regret this Gee. Mikey’s gonna be there, and Ray – it’s his house by the way, and Bob. You’ll love them.”
The fact that Mikey would be there tomorrow somewhat soothed my already frantic nerves. But my stomach still did back-flips and I wasn’t sure if it was due to hunger or the fear of being around strange people tomorrow night. My fingers came up to my mouth and I began biting on the end of my nails, anything to distract me from the nerves gnawing at my insides. I don’t like groups of people, they make me uncomfortable. I can feel them judging me as they look me up and down. Can all but hear their thoughts as they decide that I’m worthless, fat, not worth their time. I was dreading tomorrow night. But it’s not like I could back out now.

My stomach let out another large growl and I blushed fiercely as I attempted to cover it up with a rather false sounding cough. Frank caught my eye and I could see concern in those hazel orbs.
“You sure you don’t want food, Gerard?” He asked and held out a bar of Hershey’s chocolate – cookies and cream, my favourite. It was like he knew that I wouldn’t be able to resist my favourite chocolate.

My hand reached out on its own accord and took the small bar from out of his hands. I tried to stay calm as I opened the wrapper but my fingers fumbled and my hands shook nervously. I didn’t want the bar anymore, it’d just make me fat. But I had to eat it; Frank was watching me, waiting to see me take a bite.
The smell of chocolate was overpowering as I unwrapped the foil encasing. The white chocolate was as tempting as ever. I broke a piece off and smiled over at Frank before bringing it to my lips. It felt dry and crumbly against my teeth and I almost began gagging, it didn’t taste of anything. I really didn’t want to finish it. But I could still feel Frank’s eyes on me, watching my every move. So I forced a smile back on my face and quickly finished the rest of the bar, murmuring a quiet ‘thank you’ afterwards.
The boy sitting opposite me smiled, his hazel orbs lighting up. He went to speak to me, his mouth was open and everything, but then the end-of-lunch bell rang and he just shrugged and stood up.
“See you tomorrow Gee.”
I nodded, “Yeah,” I whispered, my stomach already beginning to curl from both the unwanted food and the prospect of having to attend tomorrow’s ‘get-together’ , “See you tomorrow.”
The short teen all but skipped out of the library and I couldn’t help but wonder what he was going to say before he ran off.

He was probably going to tell you how you made a pig of yourself when you scoffed down that chocolate bar.
God Gee, you should really go on a diet or soon even Mikey and Frank won’t want to talk to you.

The voice laughed cruelly and I whimpered, my stomach coiling and making me nauseous. I got to my feet and ran directly to the nearest bathroom not caring if I was late to class, not caring if I made it back for any of my afternoon classes, just needing to expel the food that was now on its way through my digestive system.

You’re so fucking pathetic Gerard!