Les Oiseaux de Mauvaise Augure

I sniffled a little bit and rubbed the tears away from underneath my eyes. I was sitting on the floor in front of the couch. Joey was completely silent, laying still, and playing with a couple strands of my hair. He hadn't said a single word since the police came.

The paramedics had taken Lucy's body. They'd told us that we probably shouldn't come with them. We didn't. The police had questioned us. They told us that there was a good chance that they could catch the killer. I laughed. Then cried. Because I knew that they were lying.

We didn't leave the station. We were in the front room still in shock. I was ready to help Joey in any way I could. Starting early with the grieving process. Because Lucy's death reminded me of my own mother's death. When I had to go through the grieving process completely alone and scared for my own life.

Did the room just get darker?

"Joey," I said lightly. I sniffled again. He didn't answer. "Joey, do you want me to take you home?" I turned around to look at his face. The whites of his eyes were completely bloodshot, but his irises were a beautiful deep green. His lips were red and swollen as well. He shrugged, still not saying anything, continuing to play with a strand of my hair and avoiding my gaze. "I don't want to leave you." His face remained vacant.

"I think I'll stay here tonight." His voice was deep and scratchy. It made me want to start crying again.

"Are you sure? I think it might be good if you sleep in your own bed tonight. It'll be more comfortable."

"Will you stay with me?" I swallowed as my throat became dry suddenly. I sniffled again, my breathing suddenly getting a littler heavier.

"Of course, Joey. You were there for me, and I'll be there for you. I'm not gonna leave you." He finally looked me in the eyes.

"Thank you, Anna." His eyes started to water again so he closed them tightly. I got up onto the couch and held onto him, rubbing his back and rocking him gently.

"It'll be okay."

"You don't really believe that. Do you?"

I do.

"You can't help yourself. You can't help him."

I can.

"Ssssilly girl."

I am.

"You're going to get hurt."

I will.

"You've been to hell and back."

I have.

"You're going to get hurt."

I know.

-*-

The ride to his house was silent apart from the quiet radio and his directions every now and then. My heart was beating a mile a minute, and I could barely hear the radio over the sound of it. My blood rushed and my heart beat as loud as a drum.

But, this was a fabulous excuse so I wouldn't have to go back home. A part of me loved it. Being in charge of him. Helping him, I guess. Seeing him so distraught and being able to help him.

"Help?"

Yes.

"You like that you can help him? Is that really it?"

Yes. What else would it be?

"What did Vengeance say? What did he say about control?"

I don't know.

"Yes, you do."

No.

I tried to block any trace of Jimmy. I tried so hard to forget his voice and his face and any thought or memory I had of him. I pushed him to the back of my mind. Far, far back, where it was dark and quiet and closed-off. Where I kept any bad memories or any unpleasant emotions. There was a gate in place that broke sometimes. Like a dam which let loose those memories and emotions like a flood at the most inconvenient times possible. Like when I looked at green eyes or when I couldn't see the sun.

Ah, Joey was talking again.

Turn here, turn there, right there, one more street. Here we are.

My heart was beating too loudly. I was sort of worried that he would be able to hear it.

I parked Joey's car in his driveway and shut it off. I didn't move for a moment or two, lost in a daze, staring at his house. White picket fence, white walls, red shutters, green grass. It was the afternoon and the sun was setting behind us, casting an orange glow on the white. Perfect and picturesque. It suit him. I finally looked at him.

"Your house is beautiful." I admit, it wasn't the most appropriate comment at the time, but I couldn't help it. It kind of fell out of my mouth, much like mostly everything I say. He gave me a tiny smile.

"Thanks." His voice was gravelly and tired. He humored me. I almost apologized.

We both got out and I locked the doors. He led the way to the front door, taking back his keys. He unlocked the door slowly, almost as if he dreaded walking inside. The house was very dark, giving me almost the exact opposite feeling that I had outside. It was freezing, too. He flicked on a light switch, but it didn't do much in the way of illumination.

There was a floral scent to the room which made me a little bit more comfortable, but not for long. It just reminded me of Lucy and that I was alone with Joey.

"Sorry the house is so cold. Lucy always bugged me about it," he said with a small laugh. I didn't think too much of it.

"No, it's okay." My voice sounded too loud. Too clumsy and bombarding. I tried to think softer. We were facing each other in the hall way next to a set of stairs. "Did you want to get some sleep? I can fix us some dinner. It's been a long day." Joey shrugged.

"I really don't think I'll be able to sleep much." His face suddenly fell darker, and his eyes became unfocused. I put a hand on his shoulder.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He gave me a dark smirk.

"You didn't want to talk about it." My heart jumped and my stomach churned. I frowned.

"What?" He blinked, his smirk softening.

"The other day. When I came over. No matter how many times I asked, you didn't want to talk about it." I gulped.

"I-" My throat felt like it was closing up. The walls were closing in. I took in a deep breath, removing my hand from Joey's shoulder.

It's going to kill me. I have to tell someone. I have to tell someone. Anyone.

"You're going to regret it."

I'm going to explode, Jimmy. I have to tell someone.

"I'll t-tell you. I'll tell you. But you first, okay?" Joey looked at me, his face softening.

"You don't have to, Anna. I'm sorry." I held up my hands, shaking them lightly.

"No. No, I need to tell someone." I looked him right in the eyes. His eyes were a clear, deep emerald green. "Can I tell you, Joey?" He nodded, not looking away.

"Of course." He paused. "I'll make some tea."