Death is but a dream

I was tired of falling over and over again. Falling , still. Everytime I thought I was doing good hurt and pain came back my way and made me fall deeper and deeper into that bottom less space. There was no floor, no ground nothing to catch you everytime you fell. After sometime you let the numbness take over ,but with just a swift movement all the numbness goes awya and reality sets in. You tell yourself not to expect anything but still deep inside your heart you had some hope left. After falling time after over and over again you started feeling weaker than you did the last time. When you reach the point that the pain overcomes everything else, all you want to do is dissappear, dissappear into the cold night air. I knew what I had to do to get rid of the pain at a very young age but I just let it all catch up until everything you have tried to forget catches up to you and makes you not want this anymore you'll do anything to die. I will take you through the last year of my life and how changing from an ugly outsider to a beautiful girl does not take away the pain you felt inside from day one and hoe you "loved ones" helped me make these decisions.