Save Yourself, I'll Hold Them Back

We can leave this world, leave it all behind. We can steal this car if your folks don’t mind. We can live forever if you’ve got the time…

It amazes me that these simple lyrics from one of my favorite My Chemical Romance songs actually apply to my life right now. Me and my best friend, Chris, have been on the run for a while now. He found out that my drunken mother has been abusing me, so he took me and my mom’s car and we ran. Of course, we packed clothes and stuff, but we’ve been hopping from city to city, hotel to hotel. Well, at least we have each other.

“Beth, I’m gonna stop at this gas station, okay?” Chris looked over at me. I nodded and he turned back to the road. I took this time to really study him. He was tall, tan, and muscular. His dyed black hair was windblown from the window he had down. His green eyes were soft, and worn out from the events we’ve encountered on our journey. He seemed so perfect compared to me, with my plain, brown hair with purple highlights and my lifeless blue eyes. Not to mention that I was considerably pale compared to him. He was, as I quote My Chemical Romance again, a heart attack with black hair dye.

This is why I love him.

I didn’t even realize that he had stopped and was now looking at me with an amused little grin.

“What? Did I get a bug on my face?” He asked with a laugh. I felt my cheeks heat up as my eyes grew wide. I shook my head and sunk back into the leathery seat of my mom’s mini cooper. Not my first choice, but it’s all we had. Chris laughed and got out of the car. I followed suit and we walked into the gas station to get some food.

I walked to the area where they kept drinks and grabbed a water bottle. Chris grabbed some soda and we both grabbed a big bag of chips. I also grabbed a few packs of gum because I cannot live without gum. Of course I’m over reacting, but gum is very important to me. It helps keep me sane.

We walked to the register to pay for our things and then walked back to our car. Chris started driving to really nowhere in particular, which has been what we’ve been doing for two years now, when we first ran away. Chris was having problems at home, too, and we would hang out a lot at the mall, not ever wanting to go back to our own houses. But we would always have to in the end.

Eventually, after one night when my mother had accidentally burned my arm with her cigarette, I called Chris while crying my eyes out and he told me that he’d be over soon. Then he told me to pack my bags. I did what he told me and he was over in five minutes and we took my mother’s car and left.

We were fifteen at the time. We didn’t care about school; we didn’t have any other friends. We were the outcasts of the school and figured that no one would miss us. We were right. My mother didn’t even bother noticing that I was gone, and neither did Chris’ parents. So we’ve been together ever since.

I didn’t realize that I had fallen asleep until I woke up to the sound of Chris’ voice and his hand on my shoulder, gently shaking me. I groaned, not even wanting to open my eyes.

“Come on, Beth. We’re at the hotel.” He said quietly. I held out my arms.

“Carry me…” I murmured. He laughed quietly and reached over to unbuckle my seat belt. Then, he picked me up and carried me bridal style. I put my arms around his neck and leaned my head against his warm chest. I breathed in his smoky scent and felt myself relax. He exchanged a few words with the lobby clerk and then I felt him reach out awkwardly for what I assumed was the key to our room.

He walked to the room and somehow managed to open the door with me semi-conscious in his arms. Suddenly, I felt him put me down and I landed on the bed. I curled up in on myself and then felt his hand land lightly on my side.

“Beth, I’m going to go get our bags, okay?” He asked quietly. I think that I answered with something that was like a yes, and then he was gone.

I awoke a few minutes later to the sound of the door opening and closing again. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, adjusting to the dim lighting in the hotel room. Chris walked over to the bed and leaned over me. He kissed my forehead and pulled away smiling.

“Hey there, sleepy head. How are you feeling?” He asked with a soft laugh.

“Tired…” I mumbled. He laughed again and pulled me into a hug. When he pulled back, he looked into my eyes and smiled.

“Love you, Beth.” He said. I felt the corners of my mouth turn up.

“Love you, too, Chris.” I said and laid back down on the bed. I felt the mattress move a bit as Chris laid down next to me and turned over so that I was facing him. I peeked at him out of one eye to find him asleep already. I smiled and scooted closer to him and snuggled my head into his chest. And with that, I fell asleep with my best friend in the world right next to me.