Save Yourself, I'll Hold Them Back

Beth’s P.O.V.

While we waited for everyone to get back, Gerard and I were in the living room talking about random things.

“So, Beth, why did you run away?” He asked suddenly. I looked up at him and saw that he was genuinely interested. I sighed, knowing that he was going to keep bugging me about it if I didn’t tell him.

“My mom… she never got over my dad’s death. She started to drink a lot and smoke. She was usually drunk more than she was sober. She had started to get angry, and since I was the only one that she had, she started to… abuse me. At first, she’d just verbally abuse me, tell me I was worthless, a mistake, but I had Chris, who would tell me that I was amazing, beautiful, which helped me ignore my mom’s harsh words.

“Then she started to hit me. She’d slap me if I did something wrong, and tell me that I was a failure of a daughter. She’d punch me and kick me until I couldn’t move. The only person who actually cared was Chris, but he didn’t know about the beatings. My mom would hit me in places that no one would see unless they really tried. I wanted to leave, but I couldn’t, not yet. Finally, she burned me with a cigarette one night, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I ran up to my room and started to pack my stuff while I called Chris, who told me that we were leaving that night. He came over with a big bag of his stuff and we left with the money we had and never looked back.” I stopped and slowly looked up at Gerard, whose eyes were shining with sadness.

“Beth… I’m so sorry.” He walked over and wrapped me in his arms while he wiped away the tears that I didn’t know were falling. He held me as the tears of memories I’d tried to forget flowed freely.

"Beth?” I looked up at the sound of Chris’ voice in the doorway and shot up and into his arms.

“Oh, you’re back!” I peeked over at Gerard, who looked a little crest fallen. But when I gave him a little look, he smiled at us and got up to talk to everyone else. Chris smiled down at me and wiped away stray tears.

“Why are you crying, love?” He asked softly. I smiled up at him.

“It’s only because I told Gerard why we’re here.” He nodded and gave me a small kiss on the lips.

“I’m glad you’re okay. I was worried that something happened to you.” I smiled up at him and kissed his cheek.

“Come on, I wanna say hi to everyone.” I took his hand and pulled to the kitchen, where I knew everyone would be. I turned out to be right.

Mikey and Frankie were putting food away; Ray and Gerard were chatting quietly; and Moe, Ezekiel, and Azrael were catching up. I walked up to Frankie and Mikey to help put food away and Chris followed close behind me. I put some of the cans into the cabinets with Chris and Frankie right next to me doing the same thing.

When we were done, I turned around and leaned against the counter, watching everyone else.

“So, Beth, what did you and Gerard talk to in his room?” Frankie asked, giving me a suggestive eyebrow raise. I rolled my eyes and looked at Gerard for support.

“I had a headache, and Beth helped me get rid of it by giving me medicine and singing to me. She has quite a lovely voice.” I felt my cheeks heat up at his compliment. It’s not every day that your idol tells you he loves you and that you have a pretty voice, especially when you haven’t sung anything to him.

“Oh.” Frankie pouted in disappointment and turned to Mikey to collaborate on whether or not they sound believe Gerard. Ray turned to me and gave me a smile.

“Well, let’s hear something, then.” I felt my eyes grow wide in response. Gerard gave me an encouraging smile, Frankie and Mikey stopped talking and turned to me, and Moe and company looked at me expectantly. Chris took my hand and gave it a squeeze. I sighed.

“Fine. Don’t blame me if your ears bleed, though.” I closed my eyes and scrunched up my face, looking for a song to sing. I finally found one and smiled. They should recognize this one.

“Hear the sound,
The angels come screaming.
Down your voice,
I hear you’ve been bleeding.
Make your choice,
They say you’ve been pleading.
Someone save us!

"Heaven help us now,
Come crashing down.
We’ll hear the sound,
As you’re falling down.”

I finished up the song and looked at everyone’s faces. Their expressions ranged from shock and surprise to delight and happiness.

“That was amazing, Beth!” Moe said, giving me a big hug. I laughed and hugged her back.

“It truly was amazing, Beth.” Mikey said, giving me a small, sweet smile. I smiled back.

“I loved your take on one of our older songs!” Frank said, giving me a huge, bright smile. I returned it and he gave me a big hug. Chris gave me a small kiss on the cheek and I smiled up at him. He then walked over to Moe and started talking with her. I tilted my head and couldn’t help but think that if we weren’t together, Chris would probably be with Moe. They’d make a cute couple.

I shook my head and walked into the living room, where Gerard was now sitting alone.

“Hey, Gee.” I said and sat by him. He looked up and smiled at me.

“You really are a good singer, Beth. I totally went off on a limb when I said that; I didn’t want anyone getting hurt.” I nodded and smiled at him. I couldn’t help but notice how beautiful his eyes really were, especially in the bright lighting of the living room. His lips looked really soft and inviting, too. I hurriedly looked up from his mouth to his eyes, hoping he hadn’t noticed me looking at it.

He had.

He started to lean closer to me and surprisingly, I let him. Our lips were about a centimeter apart before I turned my head, feeling ashamed of myself. I was with Chris; what was I doing? I bit my lip and looked over at Gerard again, who’s face had fallen. I leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. His expression brightened almost immediately, and he smiled at me.

“I love you, Beth.” He said softly, reminding me of our conversation earlier. I was surprised again as the next words spilled out of my mouth.

“Love you too, Gee.”