Out of Darkness

“I’m going to be sick,” Tori muttered as she stood beside the stage getting ready to play. She couldn’t see the people in the bar, but she could hear them, and there were too many voices to count. They blended together in a drunken hum of Japanese that made her want to sit down and cry.

“Don’t worry, it’ll be okay. You sound amazing, and rock damn hard. Well, for a chick.” Alex smiled, pulling her into a tight hug. He had asked her out the day after getting Brandon’s permission, and they had been “together” for five days now.

“Suck face later! We have a song to play?” Brandon teased while taking his place behind the drums. He had made a lyric video to play the translated lyrics on the TV screen behind them while they played, so that everyone was sure to know what she was singing about. He felt the song meant too much to her to not be understood.

“There she is!” Toshiya announced excitedly as she and the guys walked out to stand on the stage after setting up their gear.

“She looks terrified.” Kyo observed as she stood silently, and completely still with her guitar.

Alex said something to her that made Brandon laugh, as the room got quiet, and she nodded before feeling for where the microphone was, making it squeal when she bumped it.

Her face went white as she tried to find a way to make it stop, and the crowd burst into a roar of laughter, jests, or encouragement. However the entire noise blended together for her, and all she could do was stand there as Alex quickly went to her rescue. Brandon tried, but was stuck behind his drums.

While awkwardly looking around to a room she knew was full of people who didn’t want to hear her sing, or play, she stopped facing a group of men that were all smiling supportively. Toshiya waved at her, letting his smile grow wider.

“What are you doing? She can’t see us.” Die reminded, making his friend’s grin fall with his hand.

“Oh, right.”

“Hey Tori, you have some fans out there!” Alex grinned as Brandon fixed the soundboard for the microphone to remove any bugs that made it scream like that.

“What do they look like?” she asked sarcastically.

“It’s our friends.” Brandon answered as he reclaimed his seat behind the drums, “Toshiya was waving to you.”

She smiled and waved back to them, making Toshiya’s smile return to him. “Uhm, hello,” She smiled nervously into the mic, “This song is called Shatter and is a very special song to me right now. I hope you all like it. I’ve never played for people like this before, so please forgive any mistakes.” She explained. Her stomach felt like it had jumped where her heart should be, and her heart felt as though it were resting in her throat as she shakily played the first chords of the song, breaking into a semi-funky rhythm while the translated lyrics popped up behind her.

“Prick of a pin, no blood on me, I’ve been tested, total wasted, in too deep. To the zone, I retreat. What doesn’t kill ya makes you strong eventually.” She sang, cursing in her mind for how shaky her voice sounded. There was no hiding it; she was one mistake from crying in front of everyone.

“Blade to my skin, blurring the edge, seven doves are waiting for me up ahead. I just breathe in, I just breathe out, I’ve taken every hairpin turn by now!

“I may crack, but I’ll never shatter! I may crack, but it doesn’t matter! I may crack, but I’ll never shatter! I may crack!”

Her nerves disappeared completely as she lost herself in the song, loving the sound of her brother’s guitar with her voice, letting the strings create the voice she didn’t have and picturing herself as the sexy, hardcore, rock star she always wanted to be growing up. She couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face.

“Promised the world, dropped in a pool, did you enjoy acting so cool? Well, here’s the thing, still have my head, I stumble hard but I’m not sleeping in your bed. Saved by the sun! No shame on me! We come out screamin’ it’s the only time we’re free!”

“For someone who has only been learning to really play guitar for five months, she is an incredible performer!” Die beamed over the music as she went back into the chorus, tossing her hair out of her face and digging deeper into herself to shout the lyrics with more feeling than ever. The harder she sang, the better she could chase away her nerves and fears.

“SHAKE DOWN! TWISTED AND TIED! IT’S AMUSING THAT I’M DOIN’ FINE! I JUST BREATHE IN! I JUST BREATHE OUT! I MAY CRACK BUT I’LL NEVER SHATTER!”

“She just lost her glasses!” Shinya announced worriedly; he knew that her eyes were one of her biggest insecurities.

“She doesn’t care!” Kyo smirked while she lowered her voice and sang the bridge. He could see Brandon laughing as he played, and the blonde stranger beside her grinning ear to ear, but Tori wouldn’t hold still long enough for him to see her expression as she played.

“I still have a secret, in the dark I keep it close. I still have a secret no one knows… I may crack, but I’ll never shatter. I may crack but I’ll never shatter. I may crack but I’ll never shatter. I may crack… I may crack!”

As they played the end of the song, and Tori nearly screamed the last words, her emotions and nerves crashed over her like an avalanche. The crowd was cheering, but she could hear Kyo over them all, making her laugh as tears rolled down her face.

“Tori you fucking ROCK!” Alex cheered, picking her up and lifting her petit body above him for the crowd to get a better look at their blind entertainer. She screamed as she nearly dropped Brandon’s guitar, but its rightful owner caught it for her and patted her leg to let her know that all was well.

“Hey, let’s get over to our friends!” he shouted and made Alex put her down before walking her over to the table where Toshiya, Kyo, Shinya, Kaoru and Die were all standing and waiting to greet her.

“You are amazing!” she heard Toshiya announce as Alex led her by the arm to sit beside Kyo.

“I was flat for nearly half the song, and I missed a few beats; I should have been more careful!” she explained, blushing deeply at the downpour of compliments that hit her as soon as her reply reached the musicians’ ears.

“Well, that settles that one!” Alex laughed, trying not to seem star stricken.

“When I read the lyrics I thought they fit you quite well, but after seeing you perform them, I can’t think of a way to describe it! I could feel your performance like a physical energy.” Shinya smiled.

“Thank you!” she giggled, fiddling with her bracelet under the table.

“Hold up,” Brandon frowned, “Do you need to get out of here? You seem a bit on edge.”

“It’s really loud, and I can’t tell really where anyone is so I’m just a little afraid to move around.” She shrugged, “I can deal with it.”

“No. I want to take you out to dinner to celebrate your performance! The food here is terrible, anyway.” Toshiya announced, standing up and moving to help her.

“We will follow you?” Alex asked awkwardly as he guided her into Kaoru’s car to ride with him, Kyo, and Die, while he rode with Shinya.

“I guess!” She laughed before the door closed, only making Alex more awkwardly intimidated by the rock stars.

“Trust me, dude, they aren’t that bad.” Brandon chuckled and patted him on the shoulder before heading to his own car, honking when he was ready to roll out.

“Are you going to tell her, or not?” Toshiya demanded as they followed Kaoru and led Brandon to dinner.

“I don’t know. I really don’t know how to begin that conversation.” Shinya answered and focused on driving.

“Well, it’s your decision. I am not setting the two of your up. Just don’t be heartbroken when someone else claims her because you were afraid to, and took too long.” He sighed and turned his attention out the window.

For the past two months Shinya’s band members had been trying to get him to ask Tori out on a date. They gave suggestions that ranged form expensive candlelit dinners, to walking their dogs together down the street and sitting at home while they played. But Shinya was just too shy to ask her to spend time with him like that, and didn’t know if any of the ideas were even good for her. A few nights ago he had finally agreed that he would ask her, but after seeing her in person he was beginning to chicken out, and all four other members of the band could sense it.

All through dinner he watched her silently, trying to think of how he would ask her. If it wasn’t such a big deal to the drummer, all of his friends would have been teasing him over his situation, but even Die wasn’t willing to poke him with that stick. They were all worried about him getting hurt, but wouldn’t dare mention that risk.

After dinner ended Tori got up to get some air while the guys all talked about music together. Alex guided her out the door, and Shinya decided that it was now or never.

“Excuse me, I agree with Tori-san; the air is a little thick with smoke in here.” He announced with a smile and left the others to their drinks and cigarettes. Just as he walked out the door to ask the woman he had undoubtedly fallen in love with if she would want to spend an evening in the park with him and their dogs, he felt his heart shatter. Alex and Tori were completely wrapped around each other, without a doubt choking each other with their tongues, and suddenly their relationship was as obvious as day. He couldn’t imagine why he hadn’t seen it before.

“Oh hey, sorry we didn’t see you there. You need something?” Alex asked after noticing his presence.

“Oh, I was just going to tell you how well you did tonight, Tori-san, and suggest that you play more for people.” He nodded with a forced smile.

“Thank you, Shinya.” She beamed, feeling her way over to him and hugging him quickly, “I’m glad you liked the show; I was worried to death over it.” She laughed.

“I should be going; someone has to keep them out of trouble, and Kaoru’s seriousness seems to be on vacation.” He joked and retreated to their table to sit silently for the rest of dinner.