Out of Darkness

Tori woke alone the next morning. She kept her smile, though, taking a deep waking breath and taking in the way the bed smelled like Shinya. She snuggled deep into the blankets again, remembering how he held onto her in his sleep. She had woken in the middle of the night from the thunder, but didn’t want to move and risk waking him, since his arms were both wrapped around her back and middle, keeping her held tightly to his chest as he rested beside her.

She scolded herself for her crush, reminding herself of Alex, and slid carefully out of bed. She felt a deep ache of sadness when Achilles didn’t leap off of the bed to dart over to the door, desperately wanting to go outside and pee.

She carefully felt her way to the door, sliding it open to feel her way down the hall to find her way to the only room that had noise coming out of it, hoping that there were people WATCHING that television that was reporting the day’s weather.

While sliding her fingertips along the wall she froze and blushed deeply when she felt them brush across someone’s bare chest. She knew it had to be Shinya, Kaoru, or Die, and quickly apologized, pulling her hand back and nearly falling over with her quick movement.

“How can I expect an apology from you, Tori-san? You couldn’t have known I was walking through this doorway, and you walk so quietly that I didn’t even hear you approaching!” Die laughed, helping to steady her before taking it upon himself to guide her to the living room the rest of the way.

“Good morning!” Kaoru nodded cheerfully, holding back his laughter at her appearance. Her clothes were crumpled and crooked, and her hair was fluffed up and matted into every direction. The most skilled visual artists in the world wouldn’t have been able to recreate her hairstyle, even with the most skilled hands and expensive products.

“Good morning, Kaoru!” she smiled while being led to sit beside him on the couch.

“Did you sleep well?” he asked while Die went to dress himself properly.

“Better than I have been, at least.” She laughed weakly, “Things at home haven’t exactly been peaceful.”

“If you need to leave, we will help you. You do know that, right?”

She only responded with silence.

He took the hint and dropped the subject as Die returned, pulling a red shirt down over his body before sitting in the chair beside the couch to watch the news.

“Where is Shinya?” she asked curiously after an hour of silently listening to the television.

“He went out to look for something. All he would tell us is that he needed to pick something up to bring home. So honestly, we don’t know.” Die sighed, “He doesn’t tell us a LOT about his personal life.”

She nodded and leaned her head back against the couch. Watching the news never interested her before, LISTENING to it only made it that much more boring to sit through. Eventually she fell asleep.

She didn’t wake up until she felt someone hissing in pain beside her after a loud thump sounded near the floor. Before she could even open her eyes, a familiar weight pressed against her chest and stomach, making her cry out in pain as something wet began rubbing her face from her chin to her eyebrows, and then starting over.

“ACHILLES?!” She gasped, wrapping her arms around the excited dog and crying into his fur as he whipped his tail around excitedly, barking while tearing himself away from her and running in a circle to release some of his over-excited energy.

“I don’t understand! Why is he here?” She laughed, wiping a few happy tears away from her eyes as her dog returned his body to her lap, once again acting like a complete puppy as he tried to lay his body in her arms to cuddle with her, whining when she wasn’t giving him enough attention.

“I didn’t like the idea of him sitting alone in that shelter. This dog will only have one master, and he cares too much for her to be left for another family to take him home.” Shinya explained simply.

“You went out and got my dog back?” she asked in disbelief.

“In a way. I wasn’t able to sign the papers in your name, so now legally he is my dog, and I think it would be best if he were to stay here until things at your home calm down.” He answered quietly.

“Of course!” she laughed, “There is only one person other than myself that I can see Achilles listening to, and being happy with. I can’t believe you did this!” she laughed, “Where are you?”

“I’m by the television.” He answered.

She nodded and pushed Achilles off of her to stand up, and took a step before stubbing her toe on the coffee table. “Achilles,” She sighed, placing her hand on his back, “Find Shinya!”

The dog started walking, guiding her across the living room until his nose touched Shinya’s hand. Once Tori’s hand left him he started licking the drummer’s fingers as she threw her arms around him for the second time since her rescue, “I will never be able to thank you enough for what you do.” She sighed to him as he returned her embrace, awkwardly at first.

“You have no need to thank me.” He blushed as she tightened her grip on him. It was a hot day, so he was wearing a thinner shirt, and her shirt was a little low cut, so he could REALLY feel her chest squishing against him.

“No, I do, because in my entire life I’ve never known someone like you. I hope to have you in my life for a very long time, Shinya.” She smiled as she let go, and fell to her knees to fuss over her furry little friend some more.

While she played with Achilles, and Shinya sat off to the side watching her with a sad smile, Kaoru’s phone started ringing. With a quick apology he left the room to answer it.

“What happened to you? Are Shinya and Die with you?” Toshiya asked worriedly as soon as he answered, “We were all supposed to meet back at that hotel, but when we woke up this morning you three were missing!”

“Yes, they are with me. We are at Shinya’s house right now.”

“Why are you there? We have to finish recording here! In Tokyo!”

“While we were drinking at that bar Shinya got a call from Tori-san. She needed some help, and we had to go and get her from a horrible motel. He let her sleep here for the night; we were actually going to leave to go back to the studio in an hour.” He explained calmly.

“Is she all right?”

“She left home. Her family is having some problems lately, but she seems to be surviving them all right. When her father sent Achilles to a shelter to get rid of him, she reached her breaking point and ran off.”

“That is horrible! How could he do such a thing?! That dog is her closest friend! How could he just be rid of it and take him from her?!”

“Toshiya! Calm down, Shinya went this morning and adopted him for her. Until she has things figured out Achilles will be living here with him.”

“Is she all right with that?”

“I think so. To be honest, I think she is just happy to have him with someone she trusts to take care of him.”

“An how is HE doing?”

“Achilles?”

“No, Shinya.” Toshiya laughed.

“He seems all right, a little hurt. It’s obvious that he wants her.” He chuckled, “He spent the night with her last night.”

“Did he?! I NEVER would have thought SHINYA would make such a move! Even with her being with Alex? I have to admit, I feel a little bit proud of our little drummer.”

“No! Toshiya, you sick-minded bastard, that isn’t what I meant! She was afraid to sleep alone after everything that happened last night. Idiot.” Kaoru scorned.

“Oh,” Toshiya laughed, and apologized as Die joined Kaoru in the kitchen.

“Who’s on the phone?” he asked while getting a beer from the fridge.

“Toshiya.”

“What?” Toshiya answered.

“No not you, Die asked who called.”

“Oh.”

“Tell him I said good morning.” Die nodded.

“Die says good morning.” Kaoru sighed.

“Good morning, Die!”

“He says good morning.”

“Hey, ask him if I should bring that movie he wanted to borrow.” Die requested.

“Should he bring the movie you wanted to watch?”

“What movie?” Toshiya questioned, in pure confusion.

“What movie?”

“The movie he wanted to borrow from me!” Die huffed.

“The mov… here, YOU talk to him!” he snapped, handing Die the phone as he burst into laugher, and left the room to find Shinya and Tori.

He found Tori in the studio alone with the keyboard, playing her heart out, oblivious that he was listening. Shinya was nowhere to be found, but Achilles was laying happily at her feet, making her giggle by licking her toes every so often to get some attention so she would use her foot to rub his shoulders or back while she played.

The song was sad, but held a bittersweet happiness. She smiled while playing, rocking her entire body into the notes as she played harder and harder, with more feeling as the notes floating around her brought a few tears to slide from her eyes, glistening in the light above her.

He was a little afraid to move, worried that she would hear him and stop. He had heard people say that Dir En Grey’s music was powerful before, that they could feel it like a physical force during live performances. He guessed that this is what they meant. Never before had he felt something so strongly from just listening to music. Of course he had been moved by his own compositions and expressions, or by a concert that he and the guys played, but that was from himself or close friends. This music here was completely an outside force, and purely a raw expression of Tori’s feelings.

She played even harder, hitting darker notes that made him really wonder what was happening in her mind as she played, and eventually after a pained finish, sat in silence.

“I knew you had talent, Tori-san, but I had no idea you could play like THAT.” He announced, still in a bit of awe.

She gasped and jumped, falling off of the small stool that had been set in front of the keyboard. Achilles jumped up and barked a few times, but then started wagging his tail with his head down, wanting Kaoru to come and play. In his excitement, he hit Tori in the head with his tail.

“I didn’t mean to scare you.” He chuckled, walking over to help her to her feet, “Did you write that song?”

“No, I was just playing randomly. Improvising.”

“You should consider writing your own music; you are much better than any of us are.”

“Don’t say that! I’m not that good, really. How many amazing songs have you all put together? That little song was nothing.” She blushed, making him smile. “Oh! I got a call from Alex’ he is coming home early! He will be back today, isn’t that great? I am going to call a taxi to his apartment when he gets there, so I won’t be here while you all go to the studio to finish recording.”

“That’s, great!” he smiled, forcing enthusiasm and thankful for the fact she couldn’t see the expression on his face or his body language. He didn’t want Shinya to be in any more pain, and this was surely going to crush him.

“I already told Shinya, and he offered to drive me to the apartment, but I don’t want to be a burden.”

“Damn it,” Kaoru thought, sighing while guiding her out of the room to where Die was waiting to return his cell phone to him. “Believe me, you are no burden on any of us.” He smiled.

“Well, if that is what it sounds like when you write a song, I just lost my bet to Kyo.” Die laughed.

“You could hear it too?” she blushed quietly, dropping her head in embarrassed shame.

“The keyboard is loud enough to be heard through the whole house, if the door to the studio is open. Why do you seem ashamed, Tori-san? Your playing was beautiful!” he beamed.

“I can’t write in a diary or journal very well. I have my laptop, but anyone can read what I type there; it doesn’t have passwords anymore after my parents took that away. They have the right to read anything I write. To make up for that, I play every chance I get… it’s like a way to release everything I hold back any other time. All the hurt, and anger I have to deal with since the accident, happiness for things I could never say, fears… it all comes out in sound instead of words. I’m ashamed that you heard all of that because it is like handing you my deepest secrets.”

“Even though we heard every note, and could feel the power your emotions put into the music, we could never know what you are feeling to play it. That is something about music that makes it such an important form of expression; you can use it to scream your innermost, darkest, best kept secrets and desires, and only you will know.” Kaoru smiled and guided her to the table for something to eat, since he could hear Shinya busying himself with making a late lunch.

“Where is Miyu-chan?” Die questioned blankly when they entered the kitchen.

“Achilles has her.” Shinya giggled, nodding to the beastly dog that was carrying Miyu by the scruff of the neck, “The first few times I saw that, I was extremely nervous, but I think he may take better care with her than even I do.”

“He thinks she is his puppy.” Tori laughed as the little dog was set down in her bed and Achilles took his place lying beside her to nap. She wished she could see what they looked like together, or what Shinya’s face looked like when he smiled. Kaoru’s eyes, Toshiya’s grin, Kyo’s smirks that she could hear in his voice from time to time, Die’s hair that was constantly ending up in her face when he guided her on windy days, she would give anything to see them.

As they finished eating Shinya cleared the table and Kaoru stood up. “Since you haven’t gotten a call from Alex, would you come with us to the studio? We can take you to his apartment after.” He announced.

Just as she went to answer him her phone rang. “That’s him now!” She beamed excitedly, answering her phone quickly. After a short happy conversation she hung up, smiling ear to ear, “He’s home! I’ll go ahead and call a taxi. Thank you so much for saving me last night.”

“You’re very welcome.” Die almost sighed, but forced himself to sound happy, for her sake.

“Shinya, can I talk with you alone for a moment?” she asked hopefully. The drummer nodded, making Die laugh quietly, which reminded him that she couldn’t see his answer.

“Of course, Tori-san.” He answered and guided her to the studio. When the door was closed it was completely soundproof.

“I want to thank you for staying with me last night. You have done so much to take care of me, even when I know that there is something bothering you. You aren’t as happy as you were the last time we were together. I feel guilty for not asking you this before, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing at all, Tori-san.” He lied, making sure to smile in order to keep his voice convincing to her sharp ears.

She wasn’t buying.

“There was a woman that I was interested in, but then I found that she was with another man.” He confessed.

“Oh,” she answered awkwardly, feeling sad for him because she knew that sort of pain well. “If you ever need someone to talk to, I’ll always be here for you. I know you won’t accept payments for debts, so think of it simply as a thank you for being here for me when I have needed you.” She smiled, reaching out and feeling for his shoulder, once again resting her hands on his chest since he was taller than Brandon was, and she had just become accustomed to the shoulder being at that height.

“Thank you, Tori-san.” He sighed, once again fighting the urge to just grab her and hold her close to him, and never let go.

“I have to go call that taxi; Alex is waiting for me.” She smiled, waiting for his okay to leave the studio, but it wasn’t given.

“We will take you. We have to drive the car back to the studio anyway. It’s Kyo’s.”

“Does that count as stealing Kyo’s car?” she asked with a laugh.

“I think so. He can’t be happy about it, but I’m sure he will see this as an acceptable reason.”

“You could have said no. I never planned on asking you to rescue me; I just needed someone to talk to.”

“What kind of friend would I be if I left you in a place like that?” he smiled and joined Die and Kaoru by the door. Her things were already there, Achilles was sitting still with his tail wagging, hitting Kaoru every so often, waiting for his harness to be buckled around him, and Die had her cane out and ready to be placed in her hands.

“Achilles is staying here, isn’t he?” she asked, though it sounded more like a statement.

“I don’t think Alex’s apartment allows dogs… especially not of his size.” Kaoru frowned, knowing that she would be heartbroken.

“It’s all right. Shinya can take care of him. I know he will do a wonderful job; he’s a very kind and caring person.” She smiled, making the man beside her blush lightly as she took her cane and bid goodbye to her furry friend before following them out of the house.

They figured Shinya would want to drive her to the apartment, and thanks to the GPS, finding Alex’s apartment was nothing at all. It was even along the rout to the studio, which was a long drive ahead of them.

As they pulled up to the large white building they saw Alex standing beside a bleach blonde woman, smiling ear to ear. Die helped her out of the car while Shinya grabbed her things, and Kaoru killed the engine to greet the blonde bassist.

“Tori!” he beamed, jogging over to her and hugging her tightly, placing a kiss on her lips as well. Shinya looked away for a moment before putting on a happy act.

“This is Amber, Amber this is Tori.” He introduced as the bottle blonde smiled and joined them, “And I’m sorry, I can’t remember your names.”

“Shinya, Kaoru, and Die.” She answered, “It’s nice to meet you, Amber, are you Alex’s neighbor?”

“She’s my sister.” He answered quickly, laughing at the thought of them living so close to each other, and took Tori’s bags for her. As the three members of Dir En Grey went back to their car they noticed that while he was guiding Tori up the stairs to the building, his hand was in his sister’s back pocket.

“I’ve never seen someone act that way with family.” Die stated with a deep, and mildly disgusted frown.

“Maybe the English are different, and it doesn’t mean anything.” Shinya suggested, defending Alex against Die’s suspicions. He didn’t want to believe that Alex was just using Tori, and the very thought infuriated him. He quickly pushed it form his mind as he focused on the business that needed done for the band today. Seeing Alex and Tori together again delivered a hard blow, and he wanted to forget about it and let the wound heal as quickly as possible.