Out of Darkness

“I didn’t even think to get her number!” Toshiya announced as Shinya drove them back to his home. “Neither did I. We know where she lives, though.” Shinya replied. Though he didn’t take his eyes away from the road, he could see that his friend was obviously bothered with leaving Tori.

“You’re right. We will have to send her a letter.” He smiled, “How do you write a letter to a blind person? She won’t want her family to have to read her mail to her… that wouldn’t make her feel any better.”

“Brail. We would have to have someone translate the letter into brail for us before we send it, that way she can read it on her own.”

“I went into an antique shop a while ago while we were in the studio, and they had a typewriter that wrote in brail. It had both alphabets, too. When we go back to Tokyo to finish our recordings, I’ll see if I can buy it; then we can write her without needing to find translators.”

“That sounds like a very good idea, Toshiya.” Shinya smiled, and continued to drive while listening to his friend rave about how great their new blind friend was, and how talented in music, and how he should give her drumming lessons so that she can finally achieve her dream in music.

While her friends drove home, Tori sat silently in a chair while her father yelled at her and her mother stood as silent as she was. He wasn’t always this hard on her, but she guessed that something had happened that set him off when she left, and he was just taking it out on her. That didn’t make it okay, though, and she was thankful for her glasses, hoping that they would cover her tears.

“If you EVER leave this house alone again, there WILL be consequences!” he finished, and waited for her to answer him, but she said nothing.

“Victoria, do you understand?” he pushed.

“I understand. I understand that I will NEVER have a life worth living, and may as well be dead if I am to remain locked away inside the house for the rest of my life! Do you know what this is like? I can’t see, and you won’t let me go outside to FEEL the weather, or smell the flowers! I will never know what it is like to live an adult life, because for the rest of my life I’ll be locked away! I’m a prisoner, dad! Do you realize this? I have scheduled meals, and bath times. I have allowed computer time, and can’t walk outside without a babysitter!” she ranted. What was the worst that could happen, he would ground her to her room? She would go to bed without dinner?

“Go to your room, you’re tired and there is no telling what happened with those men.” He sighed and turned his back to her.

“Achilles! Come on, boy, bedtime!” she shouted and stormed off, going to slam her door behind her, only to find that there was no longer a door to her bedroom. “ARE YOU KIDDING?!” She screamed, and threw herself onto her bed, wishing like hell she had just stayed at Shinya’s, and never come home.

For the rest of the day she wouldn’t speak with anyone. Her brother came to talk to her, but she refused him any replies. Her mother brought her dinner, but she wouldn’t eat. She left her bed to bathe, and then came back and sat down again. This continued for the rest of the day, as well as the next day. Her family was starting to worry but there was nothing they could do. They knew that if they tried to force feed her it would be the end of their relationship with her.

“Uhm, Tori, you have a letter. I opened it, I was going to read it to you, but it’s in brail.” He announced half way through her third day of solitude and starvation. She didn’t say anything as he dropped the letter on her bed and walked out.

“Good evening, Tori-san. I hope this letter finds you well. The weather has improved quite a lot since you visited us. The sun shines every day, and the birds have not stopped singing. How have you been these last few days?

“We have been working as hard as ever on our music. After hearing you sing for us, and play with such passion, our energy seems to be renewed! Thank you for that. Die suggested that I ask you to write a song of your own, and Kyo agreed with him. They are both hoping to hear what your music sounds like. They also started arguing for a short while over what kind of music you would play. Die thinks it would be something close to what Kyo likes to write, but he disagrees, saying that you seem like the person who would write something gentle, and calm, but still beautiful.

“What kind of music would you write, Tori-san?

“I bought this typewriter that I am using to send this. We are all taking turns writing to you, so you may be getting a lot of letters for a while. Everyone was excited to see that I found one that could write in brail, it’s a very unique looking machine, too. Extremely heavy, though.

“I hope you are well, and hope to receive a letter from you soon. Take care of yourself, Tori-san. I am writing out my address for you to reply, if you choose to send a letter. There are no numbers on this typewriter, which is strange and difficult, so I am writing out my phone number as well. If you ever need anything, or need someone to talk to, don’t be shy. Call me, and I will be glad to help you.

“From Toshiya.”

The letter made her smile, and she quickly pulled up her laptop to type out a reply to him, as well as copying out the mailing address on another piece of paper so that her brother could send the letter for her. He was glad to hear her voice when she gave him the envelope, and requested that he send it for her, and agreed to keep it a secret. But that was as far as their conversation went; she went straight back to bed as soon as the letter was in the mail.

Achilles could sense that something was wrong, and refused to leave her side. Often sitting on her bed with her, with his head in her lap while she sat silently, or lay silently beside him. He only ate if Brandon brought his bowl into her room, and only went outside if he couldn’t hold it. He had even taken to growling at her father when he walked into the room, which was not a good thing.

Dir en Grey had decided to take a break from the studio for a few days, and go to their homes to relax a while. They decided to take turns with the typewriter, and Toshiya got it first since he found the typewriter in the first place. He was lounging around the house, taking advantage of his time to relax a while after getting his mail. It had been a couple of days since he sent her the letter, and he hadn’t gotten a reply from her. He was starting to worry that it wasn’t delivered, or that the letter had gotten lost, and decided to go through his mail again in hopes of finding it.

After going out to the mailbox again after the morning’s mail had been delivered, he quickly shifted through the envelopes to find what he was looking for. In a black envelope with a white sticker on it reading his address, and hers as the return address, was her reply. Without wasting a minute he opened it and read her response while walking back into the house.

“Dear Toshiya,

“Thank you very much for your letter. It means a lot right now to hear from you, I admit I was very surprised that you wrote to me. Thank you for describing the weather to me; I haven’t been outside since you and Shinya brought me home. I was given a long lecture, and then sent to bed.

“I haven’t really eaten since then, either. I won’t leave my bedroom to eat and I’m not allowed to eat in my room. Achilles is only eating in here because he won’t leave my side. Brandon is bringing him food, but they won’t let him bring me anything, but he has been sneaking me a cookie, or a meal bar here and there. For the most part though, I have not eaten anything.

“They took away my bedroom door, so I have no privacy anymore, and they nailed my window shut so that I can’t sneak out. I can’t even open my window to have fresh air, or hear the world outside. I only leave my bedroom when I’m allowed to take a shower, or have a bath. I feel like I am in prison! I’m beginning to regret having you bring me home; I should have had you take me to a hotel instead.

“If you see Shinya again soon, can you ask him an important favor for me? This doesn’t have to be permanent, only a few days until I can find someone to adopt him, but my father is talking about getting rid of Achilles. Since I don’t leave the house I no longer need a Seeing Eye Dog, and Achilles has started growling at my father because I am so upset with him. I know he isn’t such a terrible man, but I worry that instead of putting him up for adoption, he will have him put down. If Shinya is willing to take care of him for me for a few days, I would be grateful until the day I die. I don’t think I could handle knowing I let my father kill him; Achilles is my only friend. Apart from all of you, of course.

“Be well, Toshiya, and good luck in the studio! I can’t wait until your new album comes out, and Brandon buys a copy so that I can hear it. You all sounded incredible when I listened to you that day, you deserve all the success you have. Give the others my good wishes, as well!

“Victoria.”

He could feel himself be overcome with sadness and anger after reading her letter, and wanted to drive to her house himself and pick her and her dog up. He knew he couldn’t, without causing her more problems, but he was having a difficult time thinking of any ways to make her feel better. He quickly got to work typing up another letter to her, after struggling with changing the ink strip, and calling Kaoru to vent about Tori’s situation.

A full week went and she still hadn’t eaten a full meal or spoken. Her parents were fighting more and more, and Brandon was away most of the time. He came home for a few hours, said hello, and left again. She wished she could leave, too, but she wasn’t allowed. And she’d be damned if she was going to walk out of that room, as lonely as she was, to turn to her parents for comfort, or eat their foods. She was hurt, and angry, and didn’t want anything to do with them anymore.

Brandon had kept trying to talk to her, and she just ignored him time and time again. Toshiya had called her a few times, but her parents ended up taking her cell phone after her mother heard her talking about leaving to move in with him for a short while until she got on her feet. Now she had no communications with them, because her parents had also started screening the mail.

“Tori,” Brandon sighed, sitting down beside her on the bed with her. Her parents had stopped fighting and it was actually quiet in the house for the first time since she had come home. “You don’t have to talk, just listen to me. I know what’s going on now. At first I was like, ‘damn, why is dad being such a dick over this?’ but now I understand. It isn’t that you ran away; they’re taking their anger out on you.” He explained quietly.

“What are you talking about?” she asked quietly.

“When you were gone, mom found dad cheating on her. They’ve been fighting since, and he’s been drinking a lot lately, and she’s just shutting down because he broke her heart and she doesn’t know how to deal with all of this. He’s pissed off that he got caught, she’s pissed off that he did it in the first place, and I just heard them arguing about it. I guess he’s been banging this chick for a long time… half a year, Tori, he’s been fucking around for half a year!”

“You’re fucking kidding, Brandon! He can’t do that to us!”

“Shh! Keep it down! We aren’t supposed to know! I heard something else, too. Mom wants a divorce.”

Tori was having a hard time taking all of this in, and ended up crying into her little brother’s shoulder, letting him comfort her as it all hit her. Her family really was falling apart. Brandon was hardly home, she wasn’t speaking to anyone, her dad was cheating, and now her mom wanted to leave. The love in the Death family was beginning to live up to their name, and die out.

“Hey, I snagged this for you before dad could throw it away. Whoever this guy ‘Die’ is, is freaking out in it. He’s worried about you, big time. Since when do you have a boyfriend?” he asked, handing her an open letter.

“You can read this?”

“My big sister has been blind for twelve years. How else am I supposed to get in your biz? I had no choice but to learn the lingo!” he joked, making her laugh as she traced her finger over the letter, reading Die’s demanding letter. Apparently there had been twelve letters sent from himself and the other members of the band, and no responses. After reading her letter to Toshiya they were all beginning to worry that she had run away again, or found another, more terrible way to escape.

“He’s not my boyfriend. He’s just a friend I met when I was away that night.”

“He a fan of Dir en Grey? ‘Die’ isn’t a very common name.” He joked again, fiddling with her pillowcase.

“Kind of. He listens to the music a lot.” She smiled, and started her reply while avoiding saying any names other than his.

“Listen… I have to go again. Sounds like Dad is looking for more booze, and I don’t want to be here for him to send out for it. We ran out last night… I jacked the last bottle when I went out.” He laughed and hugged her tightly, “Shh, I didn’t just drop this in your bed. We have no idea where my phone went; keep it on vibrate.” He added and let his phone rest against her legs. “I’ll bring home some food when I come back.”

“Thanks, Brandon. For a shithead, you’re pretty cool.” She laughed.

“Well, little brothers are supposed to be shits to their big sisters. You’re pretty cool for a bitch, too.”

“Oh shut up and get out!” she laughed and hid the phone while the letter printed for him to send for her.

“Bye!” he nodded quickly and snuck out the back door of the house to avoid their father.