Beyond the Borderline
Ride
It had never occurred to me that someone so beautiful inside and out could die so soon. Actually, it was too soon for her to die, really. But knowing that she had been given almost a year to adjust, I figured she had been happy and contented with just that. Still, I find myself asking her God why she died at a mere age of twenty-six.
Maybe it was a form of a punishment. But, thinking about that leads me to another question which is: what for?. As far as my memory serves, I've never seen her do things that would result to death, or any form of punishment possible.
But, as her mother would always put it, that was her fate and she should learn to accept it. And I knew she did ignoring the fact that was both hard and heartbreaking at once.
I figured accepting her upcoming death was fine with her, she was strong like that, but leaving behind the people she had grown to love and those who have loved her back is another--completely another--story. And as for me, letting go of someone has always been a hard job to accomplish, and I admit that not once in my life have I done a great job at taking my grip off of someone I hold dearly; especially her.
Every time I come to think of her again, my mind always drifts back to the first time I fell in love with her- exactly seven days after we first met. I smile for a while, then I begin to tear up again- it's almost a comedy instead of a drama show every time I find myself crying over someone who has bygone already.
Just like right now, while I'm trying to tell you this story I doubt I'd be able to finish anyway. As every word pours out, tear drop is pretty much the unsolicited payment for each. But...let's talk about something less depressing; like, let's say, her.
Right; Katrina Caye Ross, my, brace yourself, third degree cousin. She was my twenty-six-year old cousin- dark brown hair arranged in soft curls, brown eyes that always had the guts to show off with her fair skin helping out. She was beautiful, no doubt about that, but there had been more about her that amazed me even more- but to be honest, I didn't know what they were.
Perhaps it had been the way she made me aware of the fact that I provided her security despite that she was five years my senior, the love she had always needed, and the tender care no one else had given her except, maybe, me. Or maybe it was just her, the way she was, I mean.
She had a mind open to ideas in all shapes, forms and, also possibly, sizes. She was the type of girl that was crazy enough to make me laugh but not to scare me away or anything like that- she was just about right.
She had been the best confidant I've always realized to need, a loving partner, a stupendous artist that I had related to with my music and song writing. She was simple yet she had the touch of elegance and grace, and she had this certain attitude that made you want to strangle her yet you're afraid you'd go too far- far, as in, killing her.
Oh, just imagine yourself falling in love with someone so perfect but you have that tugging feeling inside you that, maybe, one day you're going to lose someone so wonderful. And in my case, yes, I had lost her...to death, and believe me, it wasn't easy.
So here I am, trying to relive everything that happened in the past, things that are considered part of the memory lane, through a story that I would always find the time and the heart to treasure, a story that will always be in my heart no matter what.
Let's just say this is me letting it all out when I'm not writing songs. This is me telling a story about me being guy falling for the right girl but at the wrong circumstance. Even though I try to convince myself it didn't hurt me as much as it really did and all of those lonely nights when I cried nonstop were all just a dream, I never manage to fool myself- it's something I've always cursed myself for.
This is just me being my normal sulky yet still in love self. And I want you to be a part of it.
My name is Ryan Ross and this is my story; our story. Sit back and relax, for you're about to take a ride, a ride through and into my heart.
I'm ready when you are.
Maybe it was a form of a punishment. But, thinking about that leads me to another question which is: what for?. As far as my memory serves, I've never seen her do things that would result to death, or any form of punishment possible.
But, as her mother would always put it, that was her fate and she should learn to accept it. And I knew she did ignoring the fact that was both hard and heartbreaking at once.
I figured accepting her upcoming death was fine with her, she was strong like that, but leaving behind the people she had grown to love and those who have loved her back is another--completely another--story. And as for me, letting go of someone has always been a hard job to accomplish, and I admit that not once in my life have I done a great job at taking my grip off of someone I hold dearly; especially her.
Every time I come to think of her again, my mind always drifts back to the first time I fell in love with her- exactly seven days after we first met. I smile for a while, then I begin to tear up again- it's almost a comedy instead of a drama show every time I find myself crying over someone who has bygone already.
Just like right now, while I'm trying to tell you this story I doubt I'd be able to finish anyway. As every word pours out, tear drop is pretty much the unsolicited payment for each. But...let's talk about something less depressing; like, let's say, her.
Right; Katrina Caye Ross, my, brace yourself, third degree cousin. She was my twenty-six-year old cousin- dark brown hair arranged in soft curls, brown eyes that always had the guts to show off with her fair skin helping out. She was beautiful, no doubt about that, but there had been more about her that amazed me even more- but to be honest, I didn't know what they were.
Perhaps it had been the way she made me aware of the fact that I provided her security despite that she was five years my senior, the love she had always needed, and the tender care no one else had given her except, maybe, me. Or maybe it was just her, the way she was, I mean.
She had a mind open to ideas in all shapes, forms and, also possibly, sizes. She was the type of girl that was crazy enough to make me laugh but not to scare me away or anything like that- she was just about right.
She had been the best confidant I've always realized to need, a loving partner, a stupendous artist that I had related to with my music and song writing. She was simple yet she had the touch of elegance and grace, and she had this certain attitude that made you want to strangle her yet you're afraid you'd go too far- far, as in, killing her.
Oh, just imagine yourself falling in love with someone so perfect but you have that tugging feeling inside you that, maybe, one day you're going to lose someone so wonderful. And in my case, yes, I had lost her...to death, and believe me, it wasn't easy.
So here I am, trying to relive everything that happened in the past, things that are considered part of the memory lane, through a story that I would always find the time and the heart to treasure, a story that will always be in my heart no matter what.
Let's just say this is me letting it all out when I'm not writing songs. This is me telling a story about me being guy falling for the right girl but at the wrong circumstance. Even though I try to convince myself it didn't hurt me as much as it really did and all of those lonely nights when I cried nonstop were all just a dream, I never manage to fool myself- it's something I've always cursed myself for.
This is just me being my normal sulky yet still in love self. And I want you to be a part of it.
My name is Ryan Ross and this is my story; our story. Sit back and relax, for you're about to take a ride, a ride through and into my heart.
I'm ready when you are.
♠ ♠ ♠
This is not my first story, although this is the only one with a plot. I'm not a good writer, I admit that, but I couldn't help but give writing a shot. So here it is. Please comment, thanks! :)