He's My Protector.

“I’ve been in love with you since I was fourteen. Do you think I want to kiss you?” Kegan asked, even though it was obvious.

I took in a deep breath looking away from his eyes. He's loved me for a while, he never stopped? All this time, hugging him, kissing him, and I never knew he loved me?! How clueless have I been? of course he wants to kiss me, of course he likes me, of course he would risk his life for me! Somehow I feel like I would do the same. But. But. I can't do this, I just can't kiss him and let everything change. The rumors in school, they'll be even worse if Kegan was my boyfriend.

It was silent, I guess Kegan thinks I'm a bitch for not saying anything. I don't blame him, I demanded an answer from him if he wanted to kiss me and he answered, but i did nothing. I didn't even look at him!

"I can't." I whispered obvious that Kegan heard me, and I saw his face drop. I saw his hope run out, I saw every second of it. My heart dropped, not in a skipping way, in a way that when you're on a roller coaster and that big drop makes your heart feel like it's in your stomach. It dropped so far down that I felt like I was beginning to become sick.

"I-I have to go back to work." I whispered grabbing the knob on the door and turned it open then left quickly before Kegan could grab me and pull me back like I did to him. Once I left out the bathroom, I ran because if I were to walk, my problems would just catch up to me.

"Wait, Annette-"

"I just need air." I called out quickly, then turned a corner then another until I hit a supply closet, closing the door then leaned onto it sliding onto the floor.

"What am I doing?" I whispered to myself, putting my head in my hands and start crying.

Don't push Kegan away, Annette Those words keep rewinding over and over in my head. I don't want to push him away, I never wanted to. I don't want to upset him, but I don't want everything to change between us.

So I pushed him, I pushed him like a door that only pulls, I pushed him into saying everything about himself, I pushed him away, I pushed him so much that even I am hurt because of it. I just stood there and watched his little bit of happiness die out. I'm a horrible, self-centered, love-less, bitch who will keep on hurting Kegan, as long as he stays my bodyguard. Who will keep pushing him away from the real Annette. Who will just keep on hurting him, over and over again.

I slipped out a loud crie before wiping my eyes, not caring if my eyeliner was wiping off with it. I hurt Kegan, the only thing that matters is finding a way to fix it. Without bringing any feelings that I have for him, back.

"Annette-"

"Please, Kegan, I'm alright, I just need some space right now." i call out, wishing that I could transport away from her, to somewhere Kegan will never find me.

"Your dad said you have to work." Kegan's voice was plain, no emotion, what so ever.

"I'll be there." I say, trying to cover my depressed voice.

"We're working in your dad's office again."

"Okay." I mumbled in my hands, before running a hand through my hair and took in a deep breath. His voice makes me want to cry again. I heard his foot steps quietly walk away.

You can't stop pushing him away, can you?

[xxxx]

"Can you staple this?" I ask quietly, arranging stray papers together and passed it to Kegan with no other contact with him. And that's how it was for the last couple of hours, just wait one more and a half and we'll be out of the office. Kegan coughed lightly, while I taped my finger nails loudly onto the wooden table.

"Here." Kegan says passing the bounded papers to me before correcting the tests once again. I have to admit it, I was bored. We weren't' talking and this whole job is boring, and so awkward.

"Thanks." I whispered, looking at him for any difference in his facial structure, but he just continued to do his job. He continued to act like this was going to be professional, and i can't help but be so annoyed by it. Why wasn't he saying anything? Why wasn't he looking as depressed as I was?

He notices that I was staring once he took a quick glance at me and looked away. I wish we would stop acting like middle school couples. Awkward and so quiet. Kegan looks at me again then away so quickly.

After that it would be the same. Staple, check, eye contact, staple, check, eye contact, staple check eye cont-

"Urg, that's enough. I've had it with this awkward silence, we've dealt with it before but now it's just plain annoying!"

I yell standing up and walking to Kegan, sitting on my dad's computer chair, grabbed his face and kissed him. It was a sample kiss, to see if Kegan would actually kiss back, and when he did, it began to grow more intense.

Kegan's big hands grabbed my hip bone and pulled me to his lap, once he did that I started running my hand through the back of his head hair, wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling myself closer to him.

His tongue ran across my bottom lip, and I opened my mouth meeting his half way. It grew more hot. Our tongues slide against each others, I groaned in pleasure once I felt Kegan's thumb massage my waist. Then I broke away from air.

"I'm so," Quick kiss "Sorry for hurting you." I whispered before kissing him again, meeting our tounges, then pulled away again.

"I never meant to." I kissed him again, hoping for a longer kiss but Kegan pulls away.

"Then why did you do it?" I keep my eyes closed, hoping for Kegan to bring back his lips, but we don't meet our lips again. Opening my eyes, I curiously meet Kegan's.

"I didn't mean to-"

"Annette, for one in your life can you please just tell me what's going on? I never understand what going on through your stubborn brain." Kegan demands, but I look away, hoping for another answer other than 'I love you but I want to keep my reputation'.

"I-It's too complicated." I whispered.

"Try me, I just need to know that I'm not some guy you want to make out with and suddenly find a new toy to mess with."

"No matter how much I want it to be like that, you can never be that guy I kiss then diss. You're so-different I just can't explain what I'm feeling for you. I wish I knew what I'm feeling like you, you're so certain. I'm just confused."

" I'm always worrying about what others think. I'm always worrying about my reputation. I just wish I can throw on a pair of joggers and go to school not caring about anything, or anybody. But where theirs money theirs reputation."

" I'm Annette Keith, the billionaire's daughter, the pathetic loner that everybody hates, all I have is reputation, all I have is my image. I don't have friends that will be at my side if I decide I want to do something crazy."

" I don't have family that will secure me from the bullying, I only have my reputation and if that crumbles down, I-I don't know what I'll do." I say tangling my fingers through Kegan's hair and l put my head down.

"You never answered why you hurt me."

"Because, I'm scared." I mumbled

"Of what?"

"Everything changing because of us." I whispered, rubbing my thumb across Kegan's bottom lip.

"Everything will change, no matter what."

"I've had enough change, my parents stopped paying attention to me once the money was here, they haven't even noticed how much friends I don't have, my only friends in my life are dating so I have no friends what so ever, I have a bodyguard, who is probably going to be more, I just can't deal with so much, Kegan. I can't"

"Sometimes change is good for you."

"Being bullied? That's a good change? Having no friends? That's a good change too?" I stood up angry that he just said that.

"No I didn't mean it like th-"

"Of course, I know where this is going, you say change is good and I believe you then we become the best couple ever. God, I'm so stupid, I'm asking the boy that's been in love with me since 7th grade If I should date him or not, of course he'll say something for me to give him a chance." I walk away from Kegan.

"Annette, you never listen to anybody but yourself! I'm trying to talk to you as a frie-"

"You just can't suddenly be my friend after what we been through."

"What have we possibly ever been through?! That pay back kiss? Your sorry make out? Other than your little comeback kisses we've never been through one single thing!" He yells, the roller coaster drop stomach ache was coming again, and my eyes were beginning to fill up with water.

"If thoes kisses were so little then why did you kiss back? You love me but you're never able to make the first move, you're never able to be a fucking man and just try something out!" I yell back wiping my angry tears and stormed out of the room.

"Annette, wait." Kegan grabs my forearm, turns me around and kisses me. Not a quick one, and not a intense one. His kiss was passionate, delicate, and soft. I moved into the kiss and grabbed Kegan's shirt to pull him closer to me, while Kegan grabs my face.

I broke apart with my eyes still closed and stood on the tips of my toes to whisper in Kegan's ear.

"Kegan, you can't be my friend, my boyfriend, and my bodyguard, pick one." I say walking away.