He's My Protector.

I’ve been out for a while now.

I know this because I’ve stopped seeing visions and I can hardly hear myself. I am now just a whisper.

I don’t see visions, only colors. Not even all the colors, only greens and blues.

I don’t even feel human anymore, I feel almost out of breath. It kind of feels like each breath is slimmer, if I can even call it breathing any more.

It’s almost as if I can’t breathe or talk, but I just hear it and do it.

I just do.

Then my breath caught me. I couldn’t remember her. What was her name? What did she look like? What color were the eyes that caught me so many times?

Who did I risk my life for?

No, it was a girl. I loved her.

Annie? Amy? ….

No.

All the hope was slowly loosing my grasp at the colors swirled like a hurricane. The colors changed from peaceful green and blue to blacks and grays.

No. I needed to know her!

I’m like this for her!

I’m fighting for her!

I need her.

Why was I fighting? This is stupid, I can just stop fighting. I can just let go and be in peace.

Not in pain, like there was some where in this mess.

I didn’t know where I was feeling this pain, but it was somewhere. I knew it was there.

Was I even fighting anymore? Was I even alive? I need to remember her.

It felt as if I was climbing a wall, remembering anything I could. I knew I was Kegan, I knew I was here because of a girl.

What girl, damn it!

She had brown hair, yes that’s good. Her eyes were undescribable. Her voice! The sweet voice.

Annette. My whispering voice had such determination when I hushed it. Her face slowly appeared in my fateful state.

She was so beautiful.

“Kegan.” Her perfect small voice sighed.

I had her.

My body and spirit lifted, knowing she was here. I was so close.

Just know I’m here, Annette! I haven’t left you! I would never leave you! I love you!

Why hadn’t I told her that before!

I love her.

Fuck, Annette! Please just hear me! I need to tell you! I need-

Just as quickly as she’d come, her face changed to tears, the tears I last saw her with. The shock written across her face.

The edges of the picture seemed to disappear, as she left my grasp. I no longer had her. She didn’t know I loved her.

Kill me.