Playing With Fire

Aria stared into the fire, trying to decide where to begin. In no way did she want to tell them her story that night but she knew she owed it to them and had agreed. They had flown for several hours after escaping Zhao, heading inland where his ship couldn’t pursue. During their flight no words had been exchanged; Aria had sat with her head on her knees while the others cast furtive glances in her direction. No one seemed to know what to say. It wasn’t until they had set up camp not far out from a small trading village and were seated around the fire that answers had been demanded from Aria.
“Now tell us the truth! All of it!” Katara had demanded.
“And don’t lie because you won’t get another chance! If Aang hadn’t wanted to come back for you, we’d be long gone!” Sokka assured her angrily.
“Come on guys, you agreed to listen to her!” Aang complained. Katara and Sokka had a deep seated mistrust and hatred for the people of the Fire Nation; Aang had been missing for the last hundred years, though he knew the crimes of the Fire Nation, he had not seen it first hand and was more willing to trust.
Aria glanced up at all their faces, they were watching her intently. Her eyes returned to the fire and she watched it licking up the sides of the logs, holding the darkness at bay. With a deep breath, Aria began her story.
“I was born in the Fire Nation Capital. My father…my father is General Jirou.” Aria said.
Gasps came from Katara and Sokka and shock crossed across their faces.
“I take it his reputation precedes him.” Aria said, smiling without humor.
“Of course we’ve heard of him!” Sokka exclaimed, “He’s a monster, we’ve heard more about his crimes than the Firelord himself.”
“We were told he was behind the attack on the South Pole. The attack that killed my mother…” Katara said quietly.
“Katara, my father is responsible for a lot of things but I honestly don’t think that’s one of them. He’s a General. That means he directs mostly land based attacks, it’s more likely to have been an Admiral.” Aria said frowning, “Sokka, Firelord Ozai and my father are one in the same. You’ve heard more about my father because he’s directly involved in giving orders, the Firelord operates behind the lines. His will is carried out by others; he doesn’t need to get involved.”
“Are you sure?” Katara asked seriously.
Aria regarded her silently for several moments before answering.
“No. I can’t be sure. I have no idea what orders he’s sent out over the years. I just know it isn’t probable.” Aria answered simply.
“I haven’t heard of him!” Aang piped up.
“No you wouldn’t have. He wasn’t around 100 years ago and you haven’t been around long enough now to know him.” Aria said wearily.
“Oh man…why couldn’t you just say you were from some fishing village or something?” Sokka asked in exasperation.
“I thought you wanted the truth?” Aria asked impatiently. When no one said anything, she continued with her narrative. “I attended the Royal Fire Nation Academy for Girls since I was ten years old. I’ve been training under the best fire bending masters since I can remember.”
“You’re a firebender too?” Sokka said scowling.
Aria scowled, this would be easier if she wasn’t constantly being interrupted.
“Yes.”
“Can you show us?” Aang asked curiously.
“No. I can’t. Just…please, can I finish?” Aria sighed. She was exhausted, the burns on her sides were throbbing painfully, and she had no idea when the drug blocking her bending would be out of her system. “When I was fourteen, my father and Firelord Ozai began negotiating a marriage between me and Zuko. I didn’t mind so much, we had already been dating for several months. We…love each other.”
Aria had been expecting another interruption at this information so she wasn’t surprised when the other three all expressed their shock loudly.
“Believe it or not, Zuko isn’t inherently evil or bad. He doesn’t have a choice. He has been banished until he can bring Aang back as a prisoner. And that’s a whole other story.” When they showed signs of wanting to ask more questions, Aria continued louder, “After Zuko was banished, I applied myself to my studies and to training. I didn’t give my father any reason to complain. Two years after the banishment, my father accepted Zhao’s marriage proposal. Zhao wanted my father’s favor to further his career. I wasn’t going to let that happen so I ran off and got on a navy ship. The Commander on the ship knows everything, we turned into good friends and now he’s in some Earth Kingdom prison.”
By this time Aria was talking in a monotone and listing off the events as if she had been nothing more than a third party observer during the events. She could feel the turmoil of emotions boiling just below the surface, telling them had affected her more than she thought it would. Everything seemed to hit her at once. Zuko’s banishment, her father’s brutality, Kon’s imprisonment because she had ran instead of standing and fighting, the realization that the loyalty she had felt for her country was misplaced, and Zhao’s attack all threatened to pull her under and cause her to breakdown. Her only defense was to push all emotion away and detach herself from the situation.
“That’s when you picked me up. Our ship had been attacked by Earth Benders but I escaped. I was shocked when I saw you Aang, I thought you were the answer to all my problems but it all changed. I realized how wrong the Fire Nation is, I couldn’t turn you in. I think King Bumi knew that before even I did. When Zhao captured me at the temple, he told me he would put the hunt for the avatar on hold while he took me back to the Capitol where we would be wed. The official story is that you kidnapped me. You were supposed to use the time to get to the North Pole, but thank you. You saved me from an ugly fate.” Aria finished in the same, slightly off monotone. She stared into the fire, seemingly lost in thought.
The other three stared at her in amazement. They were all reluctant to say anything, not wanting to break the spell that had seemed to settle over their camp. The fire crackled and popped, sending burning embers flying into the air.
“Aria…what’d Zhao do to you?” Katara asked tentatively, “It’s just…your face is all bruised and…”
Aria fixed her eyes on Katara and answered emotionlessly, “He hit me when I got an attitude.” With that Aria stood, grabbed her bed roll, and lay down to sleep.
A few hours later, when Aria heard the others steady breathing (or in Sokka’s case snoring) she got up silently and made for the small creek about fifty yards into the woods she had spotted from the air when they had arrived. After she had pretended to go to sleep, the other three had discussed what they had heard in hushed voices before laying down and falling asleep. At the edge of the creek, Aria knelt down and unclasped the cloak, letting it fall to the ground. Taking a deep breath, Aria grabbed the bottom of her shirt and started pulling it up over her head. Her shirt had stuck to the burns as they coagulated and Aria steeled herself and yanked it off. A cry escaped from her lips and she doubled over, holding her sides. Pulling the shirt free had caused the burns to break open and bleed and it ran down her sides in warm rivulets.
Without warning, tears welled up and she began to cry uncontrollably. Huge sobs racked her body and she shook horribly. She couldn’t keep it suppressed anymore; as all her emotions came to the surface, she sobbed harder. Anger, sadness, shame, weakness, rage; they rose inside her like great serpents, threatening to strangle her. She couldn’t rise out of the pit she had fallen into and the tears continued to fall. She flinched when she felt someone’s arms around her and tried to jump up; convinced Zhao had somehow found her.
“Aria! Aria, it’s ok. It’s just me, Katara.” Katara cried urgently. Aria sank back down to the ground, still not under control. With Katara’s arms around her, Aria slowly began to pull herself together. When at last the sobs abated, Aria pushed herself back into a sitting position and regarded Katara warily, her throat was raw.
“Here, let me help you. Those need cleaned.” Katara pulled a worn cloth out of her pocket and soaked it in the creek. When the icy water touched Aria’s side she flinched involuntarily and sucked in air, trying not to cry out. It was strange; though the touch of the rag made Aria’s sides throb in pain, the cold water soothed the burning. Aria stared unseeingly into the forest, declining to make conversation and Katara did not push her to talk. The cold night air raised goose bumps on Aria’s arms but she barely noticed. When Katara was finished she tossed aside the ruined rag and sat back. “It’ll be better not to wrap it up, the air need to get to it so it will heal faster. I’ll see what I can do about your shirt in the morning.”
“Thank you.” Aria said hollowly, still not looking at her. Katara remained where she was, watching Aria carefully. After another minute had passed and still Aria did not move, Katara scooted closer.
“Aria, what happened on that ship?” Katara asked urgently, staring at her in concern. Aria said nothing but more tears fell swiftly down her face. “Why won’t you tell me?”
“He tried to force himself on me!” It burst out of Aria so suddenly that she surprised herself. Her breath sped up to panicky gasps and the rest of the story came spilling out in shaky, fearful words. “He drugged me; I don’t know what it was. Something that blocks bending, he said some Earth Kingdom Scientist developed it for them. And then…when I couldn’t bend anymore,” Aria’s voice lowered to a broken whisper. Everything that happened was running through her head; she could see it as clearly as though it was happening all over again and could almost feel his breath on her neck. “he attacked me.”
“He laughed as he burnt me; thought it was funny when I screamed. Said I deserved it, that I was a tease. I didn’t know what to do; I’ve never been without my bending. It was like he didn’t even feel me hitting him. And then he was about to do it. He had me on the bed when a soldier came. He said he spotted you guys…camping on an island. He left, promising to finish what he started.”
Aria fell silent again, her eyes focused down on her hands. Katara was sickened by this tale of brutality and didn’t know what to say.
“I’ve made a mess of everything.” Aria said so quietly Katara almost missed it. “Zuko was there in the temple. I had my chance to talk to him, to make him understand how wrong the Fire Nation is, how wrong we were, and I blew it. He probably thinks I’m a traitor now…We’ll never be together. Unless he can capture Aang. And I can’t let that happen now either. Zuko’s honor means so much to him, I don’t think he’ll ever back down.”
Aria took a long, hitching breath before continuing. It seemed there was no stopping the words coming out of her mouth now that they had started.
“And Kon…he risked his career, even his life to take me on his ship and I left him! It’s my fault that Kon’s an Earth Kingdom prisoner now. If he’s not dead! Who knows, maybe they killed him! He told me to run. I should have stayed and fought. I could have helped him. I know I could have helped him. Katara, I have to try and find him.” Aria had worked herself up again and was close to tears. She stopped talking for several minutes, her mind running at incredible speeds.
“If I ever go back to the Fire Nation my father will kill me. He’d rather I be dead than a traitor. I can just imagine how furious he’ll be when he finds out Zhao lost me again. If he doesn’t kill me, I’m willing to bet I’ll wish I’m dead.” Aria said absently, almost seeming to talk to herself.
Suddenly Aria’s face hardened and her eyes flashed dangerously.
“I will never be in their power again. Never!”
Katara listened to Aria without interrupting. It was hard to listen to such a horrifying tale and hate towards the ruthless Navy Commander filled her. She didn’t know who Kon was and she couldn’t believe Aria was in love with Zuko but now that Aria was talking, she wasn’t about to interrupt. After Aria had been sitting listlessly for several minutes without talking, Katara hesitantly reached out and put her arm around her once more. Aria flinched violently at her touch but made no move to pull away.
“Aria, none of that was your fault. Your father and Zhao both wanted to turn you into the perfect Fire Nation citizen in their eyes; a monster. It would have been so easy for you to go that route and become one of those people who are ruining people’s lives but you didn’t! You fought against them and even though the consequences are hard, think about the good you’re doing! Everything’s going to be ok; I’ll help you find Kon. I promise we’ll try; we’ll stop at all the towns we pass and search the prisons. And from now on don’t worry about what your father or Zhao…or even Zuko want for your future. Lead your life how you want to.” Katara said pityingly.
Aria couldn’t stand the look of horror and pity on Katara’s face and she shrugged her arm off and turned away from her. Climbing gracefully to her feet, Aria walked several paces away from Katara who was still kneeling on the ground. When Aria finally turned to face Katara once more, Aria’s face was a carefully composed mask, showing nothing of the intense emotion she had been feeling earlier.
“Katara, unless Aang can win this war my future has been decided.” Aria said emotionlessly. “Aang has to beat the Firelord. I know what the Firelord and my father want for the world and it isn’t a world you’ll want to live in.”
Together the girls walked back to their camp spot, not saying a word. Aria felt numb, drained and empty, as if she had used up all the feeling inside of her. It was an effort to put one foot in front of the other; all she wanted was to curl up in her bed roll and be left alone. It wasn’t long and they were sneaking past a snoring Sokka and sleeping Aang. They went their separate ways, each to their own beds. Aria lay down and looked up at the stars; thankfully her thoughts seemed oddly muted and she was able to dismiss them.
“Katara?” Aria whispered.
“Yeah?” Katara answered, equally quiet.
“Thank you for…everything.”