‹ Prequel: How I Came To Be
Who Knows How It Feels?
Dichotomy and faith
"I'm looking for a vice, will someone oblige me?"
The answer is always no. He looks inside himself, he sees the man he once was; immoral beyond all measure, caring for sex, living for the day and nothing more. He'd put that man behind him; he only caused hurt, and lust, and blood, and tears, and pain. He'd hoped that he'd always stay away, but he had a habit of cropping up once in a while.
He'd recently seen an old freind; a previous lover, one that some would say he violated; many actions of this relationship he regretted. She was a saint, who helped him often; but she was also a demon, this apparent dichotomy of her being was once the bane of him. Whereas a few hours ago she would be cursing his name to high heaven for what he had done; she now treated him as a freind, playful in speech; talking of the good times they once had.
The contact with her brought on something of a conflict within him; his memories flash back and forth between then and now, and what he had done.
She left.
He cried.
Many freinds are about for the man in need; with their kind words and gestures, people who would usually lash out at the nearest living being come round, seeking to show that they can have sympathy for others.
He talks to one that would normally be called freind:
"What you did was wrong."
Indeed the worst thing he could have possibly done; he had commited that crime. But he had sought repentance; maybe one day he will be truly forgiven.
Maybe one day he will be just one person.
The answer is always no. He looks inside himself, he sees the man he once was; immoral beyond all measure, caring for sex, living for the day and nothing more. He'd put that man behind him; he only caused hurt, and lust, and blood, and tears, and pain. He'd hoped that he'd always stay away, but he had a habit of cropping up once in a while.
He'd recently seen an old freind; a previous lover, one that some would say he violated; many actions of this relationship he regretted. She was a saint, who helped him often; but she was also a demon, this apparent dichotomy of her being was once the bane of him. Whereas a few hours ago she would be cursing his name to high heaven for what he had done; she now treated him as a freind, playful in speech; talking of the good times they once had.
The contact with her brought on something of a conflict within him; his memories flash back and forth between then and now, and what he had done.
She left.
He cried.
Many freinds are about for the man in need; with their kind words and gestures, people who would usually lash out at the nearest living being come round, seeking to show that they can have sympathy for others.
He talks to one that would normally be called freind:
"What you did was wrong."
Indeed the worst thing he could have possibly done; he had commited that crime. But he had sought repentance; maybe one day he will be truly forgiven.
Maybe one day he will be just one person.
♠ ♠ ♠
this really goes with the last chapter... more will come i guess... we'll just see when something happens right?