Silence Tells the Cruelest of Lies

Three Years Previous

"I think you'll like it here, Calyx," the headmaster said. I felt his hands working behind my head, and the fabric obscuring my vision fell away from my face. My surroundings were unfamiliar, but I expected that much. "I'm sure you'll find this place more to your taste than that damned human world."

I hate this place, I spat at him.

"Why, Calyx?" Headmaster Sanders asked curiously. His hand settled on the nape of my neck and I shrugged him away. "Here, you are a queen." He paused, and I sensed a serious note fill the air. "But there are rules you must follow. First and foremost, you are never allowed to leave the realm of monsters. You are not allowed to have contact with anyone in the outside world, and that includes Jimmy and your son. If you need anything, you find either myself or one of the servants. Now Calyx, these are just the general rules that I've issued in order to keep you here. There are also a few rules for you as my queen, but these are more like suggestions." The headmaster sat down next to me on the stiff sofa. He was too close; I could feel his warm breath on my neck. "First, no more of this 'Headmaster Sanders' shit. I like for you to call me Matt. Little less formal." He began to twirl my hair between his fingers. I pushed his hand away. "Now Calyx, this is essentially a kingdom, which means that it will need an heir. I trust you understand what that means?"

My eyes widened. If this man thought I would willingly have sex with him and bear him a child, something was wrong within his mind. I shook my head, and felt him tense next to me.

"Calyx, that choice isn't yours to make," he hissed. "I want a child, and you will give one to me. Even if that means I have to tie you down to our bed. Do you understand?" Fearfully, I nodded. "Good. Now that you understand, I think it's time to settle you into our room. I'm sure you'll soon come to find yourself very at home in the Realm of Monsters."

I had now been living in the Realm of Monsters for three years. Three long, torturous years. This place was not my home; would never be my home. I was utterly alone here. I spent my days wandering the castle grounds and my nights spiriting myself away through my dreams. Nights were the worst. It was at night that Matt would place his hands on the terrain of my body. It was this that made it hard sometimes to pretend that I was anywhere other than where I truly was.

Nearly a year ago, I gave birth to Matt's child, a girl we named Aileen. Her conception is something I relive over and over in my mind, despite my attempts to repress it. She is a tiny thing, a mixture of myself and Matt, a little monster. I mean that in both the literal and the figurative sense, because my daughter truly is a monster; this is determined by her blood.

If I listen closely enough, the silence speaks to me. It whispers to me and tells me that I will see Jimmy again, that I will be able to hold Ryder in my arms once more. The silence tells me lies. Oh, it tells me such cruel lies.

The silence in this place is so infinite that my thoughts seem to echo off of the walls. It absorbs my hatred and twists it, then throws it back in my face as unadulterated fear. I was scared. Not for my life, but I was scared that I would never leave this place.

True, I was royalty here and treated as such, but I did not care. I would rather have lived the rest of my days as a peasant if it meant I would be free from the silence's cruel tyranny. If it meant I could live my life alongside Jimmy and Ryder.

I glanced up when one of the headmaster's, excuse me, Matt's, servants peeked her head through the door. "Excuse me, Miss Calyx, but Mister Matthew sent me to fetch you for dinner," she said, and then she left.

I did not get up. I hated eating dinner with that man. I hated sitting around that table and pretending we were a fucking family. So I remained sitting on my bed, praying that today I would just be left well enough alone.

But soon enough I heard heavy footsteps echoing up the hall, far too heavy to belong to any of the servants. The bedroom door opened and Matt stepped inside, looking very unhappy. "Calyx, it's time for dinner," he said. "You need to come and eat."

I'm not hungry, I lied. In all truth, I was starving.

"You're lying," Matt retorted instantaneously. "Have you forgotten I can read your thoughts?" No, I hadn't forgotten. I was just praying that he would accept my lie. But of course he didn't. He never did. "Now, come eat. You know what will happen if you don't."

Please don't, I begged, speaking of his latter topic.

"Then come and eat," Matt growled. He became angry far too easily. After several seconds, I made up my mind and got to my feet. Matt smiled. "That's a good girl."

Dinner was no different than any other night of the past three years. Matt and I sat in silence. Not a word was spoken, the only sound being that of the silverware making contact with the plates. The food itself was delicious. Three or four course meals nearly every night, with prime meat and all the best. Still, I oftentimes found myself missing Jimmy's microwave meals. They might not have been gourmet, but they were made with love, rather than by necessity.

Matt and I shared the same bed, by his request. As he put it, he was the king of this realm and I was his 'queen', and we had to sleep together, in both senses. Procreation between the two of us was also required; another of Matt's rules. It was like being raped every night. I tried to pretend it was Jimmy, but they were far too different. Jimmy had been gentle, Matt was far too rough. Jimmy had tended to my needs, Matt cared only for his own. If it weren't for what this asanine order of Matt's had created, I would have lost the will to live long ago.

That night, it happened again. It was the same every night. Lay back and let it happen, this way it would be over sooner. If I struggled, it would be worse, so no matter how badly it hurt I could not move. Matt bucked against me like a bronco, then fell off to the side. I curled into the fetal position, pulling the blanket around myself, and cried softly as Matt drifted off to sleep.

Once I was sure he would not awaken, I reached into my bedside drawer and pulled out a tattered photo. It was in such a condition because I kept it shoved to the back of the drawer so as to hide it from Matt. It was a picture of Jimmy, myself, and Ryder, taken in the hospital shortly after Ryder's birth. My blonde hair was in tangles, and Jimmy sported the exhaustion of a new father, but to me it was the most beautiful picture in the world. It showed the one thing I missed more than anything else.

My past.