Silence Tells the Cruelest of Lies

It was several days later before I got the chance to visit the strange man in the dungeon. I knew Matt would not approve of my visit, so I was forced to wait until one of his many rendevous around the Realm. I became lost several times on my way to the dungeon, as I had never been there before. But I came upon it eventually.

I pushed open the door, made of solid steel, and saw the strange man chained up in the corner. It was obvious he'd been here for several days. His face was covered in the beginning stubble of a five o'clock shadow, his midnight colored hair was limp and greasy, and his eyes, which had sparkled a deep blue when he'd first arrived in the castle, were now a faded periwinkle color. His head snapped up as the door opened, and a weak smile graced his face. "Calyx," he breathed. "What are you doing here?"

I just wanted to come and check on you, I said to him. 

"Will you come sit by me, Calyx?" the man asked. I stepped back, unsure, and and he added, "Please." The man looked so helpless, so beaten down, that there was no possible way I could deny him this simple request. I took a seat next to him on the dirty dungeon floor, and waited. For what, I didn't know. "Calyx, I wish you could understand how much I miss you," he man said suddenly, catching me off guard.

And I wish you could understand that I don't remember who you are and that I'm with Matt now, I retorted.

The man seemed very hurt by this comment. "Calyx, I've been thinking a lot these past few days," he stated, his voice cracking but masking his sadness all the same. "And I think I may have come up with a way to make you remember who I am. You have to…kiss me."

Kiss him? No, I could not do that. If Matt found out…he would most certainly kill this man. I cannot, I said to the man. If I do, and Matt finds out, he will kill you.

"I don't care," the man said with a shake of his head. "If it doesn't work, and you don't remember me, then I won't care if that monster kills me, because…because I won't want to live."

This man would kill himself over me? He must truly be in pain over the fact that I could not remember him. I nodded my head, indicating that I would give his idea a try. But in the back of my mind I was also thinking that I was sentencing him to death either way. But still I unchained his arms, and he kissed me.  

The man's lips were soft and warm, but the piercing beneath his bottom lip was chillingly cold. The difference was electrifing, but not unlike kissing Matt. Without my permission, the man placed his hand on the back of my neck, pulling me in closer, deepening the kiss. Oh, Matt had never kissed me like this before. Matt's kisses were usually given before or after our having sex, but this man's kisses were soft and sweet and full of love. 

I was beginning to think this was a ploy on this man's behalf, that this wouldn't really bring back any memories I had of him, if I had any at all. But suddenly it was if a floodgate opened, and my mind was overwhelmed with memories. I remembered this man. Oh, I had missed him so much. Jimmy. This was Jimmy. My Jimmy. And the boy in the nursery with Aileen was our son Ryder. He'd grown up so much, and I'd missed it all.

I pulled away from Jimmy, tears running down my face, and pressed my face into his neck. He smelled just like I remembered. I missed you so much, Jimmy, I whispered against his neck. 

"I missed you, too, Calyx," he said into my hair. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close to his body. Even after three years, we still fit together oh so perfectly. I pressed a kiss against his neck, and he shivered. "I'm sorry I waited so long to come find you. I should've come sooner. I just…Ryder was so young, and I couldn't risk getting hurt. But then I decided I couldn't wait any longer, I had to come find you. And then when I finally did…you didn't remember me."

I'm so sorry, Jimmy, I sobbed. Matt did something to me to make me forget you. He gave me some type of drug. I'm so sorry.

"Shh baby, it's not your fault," Jimmy soothed, petting my hair. "I don't blame you. I-I'm just glad to see you again. I missed you so fucking much."

I'm glad to see you, too, Jimmy, I said. And then we kissed again. This kiss was more armorous than the last, more hungry. For several minutes, Jimmy and I kissed passionately, our hands roaming all over one another's bodies, trying to make up for the three years we'd lost.

"Calyx," Jimmy breathed after we separated. "Let me make love to you. Please. It's been so long since I-"

I pressed a finger to his lips, quieting him, and I smiled. Please do, Jimmy, I whispered.

Truth be told, I was a bit nervous about being with Jimmy. It'd been so long…it was as if this were the first time all over again. I didn't know what I was afraid of. Jimmy and I loved each other, and we'd been together in this way several times before. Subconsciously, I think I was scared of forgetting how to please Jimmy. But I needn't have worried. It was as if Jimmy and I had never been apart. We fit together do so perfectly, and he knew me so well. Jimmy knew what I wanted, what I needed, and he taught me once again why it was called 'making love.'

I wish I could've laid in Jimmy's arms afterwards, but unfortunately I had no choice but to leave. I'd been in the dungeon for quite a while, and if I stayed too long, Matt would become suspicious. And if he found Jimmy and I together…I shuddered at the thought of what he would do to Jimmy. So I dressed myself and allowed Jimmy to quickly do the same before I attempted to chain his arms to the dungeon wall once more. But before I could, Jimmy yanked his hands away.

"Calyx, what are you doing?" he accused. "Why were you going to chain me up?"

I have to, I told Jimmy. If Matt comes down here and catches you unchained, he'll kill you. 

"And you don't that, do you Calyx?" Jimmy asked with a smile on his face.  

No, I don't, I mouthed. Because I love you. I leaned down and kissed his lips sweetly before taking his wrists and chaining them to the wall. I'll come and visit you again as soon as I get a chance, I said to him, kissing his lips one last time before leaving the dungeon.

I walked to the bedroom I shared with Matt very slowly. How would he react when I told him the medication had worn off? He would surely kill Jimmy, as he seemed to want any excuse to take my love's life. Perhaps I could get away with not telling him? Yes, that was what I would do! I would pretend that I was still suffering from amnesia, that I did not remember Jimmy or Ryder, that I still loved Matt.

When I entered our bedroom, Matt was stretched out on our bed, shirtless. He glanced up when I walked in, and he smiled at me. I forced one onto my face in return. "Calyx dear, come and lay down. It's late. Time for bed."

Of course, I replied, creeping over towards the bed. The instant my back hit the mattress, Matt was hovering over me. It took every ounce of willpower I had not to shudder at his touch.

"Calyx, you're so beautiful," Matt whispered, pressing a kiss against my neck. I squirmed a bit, wondering how I ever liked this, and fortunately Matt took this as a sign of impatience. "That's why I can't stand the thought of losing you to that stupid bastard again." My blood began to boil. How dare he call Jimmy names such as that! But I had to keep calm, otherwise my cover would be blown and Jimmy would be dead. "But I'm going to quit talking now. You're probably tired."

After my rendevous with Jimmy in the dungeon, yes I was. Unfortunately, if I thought Matt would let me sleep, I was sadly mistaken. I felt like I had before I'd been given the medication that made me forget everything. It disgusted me quite a bit to even have Matt touch me, let alone sleep with me. I hated the feeling of him moving inside of me, and to distract myself I thought of Jimmy. I thought of his face, and how much better he made me feel when it was him I was sleeping with, rather than Matt.

Not too much later, Matt released inside of me and rolled off to my right, breathing heavily. All I wanted to do at the moment was take a shower and scrub myself until my body was clean of Matt's touch, but Matt expected me to spoon. So I let him pull me flush against his naked body, but we did not fit together as we once had. My body was stiff, and I could not get myself to relax while I was touching this monster.

I fell asleep that night thinking of Jimmy. My heart did not ache the way it had before, because I knew all it would take for me to see Jimmy was a simple walk down to the dungeon. But that did not stop me from missing him. I wished so badly that I could fall asleep in his arms, rather than Matt's. I wished I could go home and live happily ever after with him and our son. Oh, our son. Ryder had been so young when I had disappeared. I'd missed everything. His first word, his first step, his first everything. Oh, how I hated Matt right now.

Early the next morning before Matt woke up, I crept down to the nursery. Both Ryder and Aileen were still sleeping soundly, and I didn't want to wake them, but I had to see my son. Oh, he looked so much like Jimmy. The slope of his forehead, the slight pudginess of his cheeks, the shape of his adorable little mouth. The only thing it seemed he hadn't gotten from Jimmy was his hair, which was a soft brown color. I couldn't help myself. I reached out to touch his cheek, and this slight action caused his eyes to flutter open.

"Mommy?" he asked groggily. He sat up in his crib, pawing sleepily at his eyes.

Yes baby, I'm your Mommy, I whispered. And I love you very much, just as much as I love Aileen.

It almost seemed as though Ryder could read my lips, because he stood on his tiptoes and wrapped his tiny arms around my neck, and whispered to me, "I wuv you too, Mommy."