Silence Tells the Cruelest of Lies

Three Years Previous

Jimmy couldn't believe the words that left Calyx's mouth. Did she really hate him? Or was it something said out of spite, just to hurt? Before he could reach out to stop her from walking away from him again, she stormed from their apartment.

"Fuck!" Jimmy cursed. He threw himself onto the sofa and placed his head in his hands. He'd messed up royally this time. But it wasn't his fault! His mind was not right…how could Calyx blame him for his actions? This situation would require quite a bit of begging and pleading to return to normal, and the moment Calyx stepped through that door, Jimmy would try to win her back.

By two in the morning, Calyx still had not returned. Jimmy nursed their young son Ryder in his arms, attempting to quiet down his fussing. Surely if Calyx wouldn't come back for him, she would come back for Ryder?

Jimmy slept fitfully that night without Calyx next to him. He missed the relationship they'd shared in the facility, and even after they'd left, before all this fighting. He missed the days when he could fall asleep next to Calyx and wake up next to her the next morning. Now he realized he should have counted himself lucky to be able to hold her close. Desperate to feel something, Jimmy wrapped his long arms around Calyx's pillow and brought it close to his chest. If he breathed in deeply and closed his eyes, he could almost pretend it was her.

Several days later, when Calyx still had not returned, Jimmy was forced to face the truth. Calyx was not coming home. His first thought as to why this had happened was that it was his fault. But then he found the note, tucked beneath his pillow, that read 'Calyx is mine now'.

"Daddy!" Ryder called out to his father. Jimmy was there in an instant, scooping the three-year-old to his chest. In nearly every way, the boy took after Jimmy. The lanky-ness of his limbs, his coal black hair. But his eyes he had gotten from Calyx. They were steely gray; cold and sad.

It had been three years since Jimmy had last seen Calyx, and not a day went by that he didn't miss her. Oh, how he missed her. After she disappeared, Jimmy experienced a short mental breakdown of sorts, and were it not for Ryder, would probably have had to be committed to another hospital.

His son was what kept him going. Such a little fireball. The boy put a smile on Jimmy's face when he was drowning in his sorrow. This boy, this child, his son, was a product of the magic Jimmy and Calyx had created, and he served as Jimmy's only link to his long lost love.

Sometimes at night, when he lay alone in his bed, Jimmy would think about Calyx, and his mind would drift to the worst. What if she was hurt. Or worse…dead? How could he possibly live without her, although she was not here now? He couldn't imagine the quality of her life now, but it could not be worse than Jimmy's.

Jimmy felt terrible that the last time he'd seen Calyx, they'd been fighting. He wanted her back ever so badly, so that he could hold her close and tell her he was sorry; so he could tell her he loved her.

Ryder was quite another issue. He was so young when his mother disappeared that Jimmy doubted he remembered her. A child should not grow up without a mother. Ryder needed Calyx to do all the things that Jimmy could not do for him; things that came along with being a mother and were not given to a father.

"Daddy, play!" Ryder shouted, tugging on Jimmy's hands. His son led him to his small pile of plastic figurines and shoved several into Jimmy's hands. Jimmy tried to involve himself in his son's fantasy, but he was mechanical. He was too busy studying Ryder's steely-colored eyes, trying to imagine Calyx's face.

Suddenly, Jimmy felt something soft brush brush his cheek, and focused in just in time to see Ryder drawing his hand back to his side. "Don't cry, Daddy," he said softly. "Everything be okay."

If only it were that easy, Jimmy thought as he pulled his young son onto his lap. If only it were that easy.