Silence Tells the Cruelest of Lies

The bed sank next to me as Matt lay down beside me. I attempted to ignore his presense, but he would not let that happen. He immediately began to nip at my neck, and I knew what he had come after. I shrugged him off. It disgusted me to have him touch me in the slightest, let alone have him sleep with me. 

My mouth parted slightly when he bit hard on my shoulder. I could tell that this was not a sensual bite; rather, it was an angry one. "Calyx, rebuffing my advances is not a smart idea," Matt whispered. "You should've learned that by now."

Faintly, I heard the sounds of Aileen's cries. I struggled to get away from Matt, who was now straddling me. The baby, I mouthed.

"Let the servants tend to her," he responded, shrugging it off. "Right now, you've got other things to worry about." 

When he undressed me, he tried to make it seem romantic, but it never was. I felt violated in a new way every time it happened, which had escalated to a nightly frequency. I hated his hands on me. Matt never used a condom, which was the most likely reason for our daughter's birth. I hated the sensation of him moving inside of me; he wasn't Jimmy.

Matt groaned loudly with pleasure when he slid into me. I gritted my teeth at the pain. I could not cry out, not in pain nor for help. My mouth parted widely when he anchored his hand in my long, blonde hair and yanked towards the headboard. This movement exposed my neck. I knew what was coming next, and I dreaded it. Oh, how I hated it. As if it were not bad enough to have this cowardly, evil beast of a man reap his pleasure from me, I also had to bear giving my blood to him. I closed my eyes when Matt sank his fangs into the tender skin of my neck. This agony was worse than any torture Matt put me through in my captivity. He drank from me as he continued to rock his hips against mine, meanwhile I tried so very hard to pretend I was elsewhere. Anywhere but here. Tears slid down my pale cheeks when I felt Matt's demon seed flood my body, and then it was finally over. At least for now.

That night, I dreamed of Jimmy and Ryder, just as I did every night. I never forgot how long it had been since I'd last seen my boyfriend and son. Three long, torturous years since Matt had taken me from them. I missed them both so much, but none more so than Jimmy. I loved him with all of my heart, and it pained me to know that he out there somewhere, while I was trapped in this hell.

It was only after each time I was raped by Matt that I missed what it felt like to have Jimmy make love to me. The two of us together in that way was magic. All of this only made me yearn for Jimmy more.

The next morning I awoke sick to my stomach. I vomited in the nearest trashcan, and pondered what was causing my sickness. It wasn't the same type of nausea I had experienced during either of my pregnancies; no, it was something else. It was a sickness that started deep inside my stomach and bubbled its way up my throat and out into the open.

"Calyx, what are doing?" Matt asked. I was currently hanging over the toilet, being sick.

I'm sick, I mouthed weakily to him. Suddenly I was tired, far too tired to move.

"Sick?" he repeated. "Oh no. We can't have that. Come now, we'll take you the infirmary." Matt picked me up and carried me bridal style. I could feel myself burning; I must have a fever. And a high one at that, because I began to mumble things incoherently.

Jimmy, I whispered. Is that you? I reached up to touch his cheek, and the delusion disappeared. Instead of Jimmy, I found myself looking at Matt, and he looked unhappy, as he always did when I mentioned Jimmy or Ryder.

"I'm not Jimmy," he gritted. He lay me down in a bed and called over one of the nameless servants. "Calyx is very sick. See to it that she gets better soon."

"Of course, Mister Matthew," the female servant answered. I forced back the disgust lingering in my mouth. Why would these women follow such a horrible man so willingly? The female servant, now accompanied by a second, took my temperature. They looked alarmed at the reading. Several IVs were inserted intravenously into my arms, and fluids began to seep into my bloodstream.

"Your fever is very high, Miss Calyx," the second servant informed me. "But this medication will help you get better."

Both servants left after this, leaving me alone in the infirmary. Of course, just like any other time I was fortunate enough to catch myself alone in the castle, I began to think of Jimmy. But oddly enough, I could not picture his face. And soon his name too slipped from my mind. I remembered that we had a child, but I could not remember its name nor its gender. I cried. My only links to sanity had suddenly become nameless, faceless slates.

What in the world was happening to me now?