This One's For You

Kate sat alone on the couch, going over the last few weeks of her life. Everything changed so fast. The move, school, meeting her new best friends, breaking up with Xavier, and in the process, breaking his heart. The move had been meant to take control over her life. Turned out the joke was on her, because she felt like she was free falling into the unknown. Whether it was to safety or demise, she had no clue.

She rolled her phone around in her hand absentmindedly. She didn’t know whether or not to call the guys; if she were being honest with herself, she didn’t know if she was ready to talk to Kendall yet, after what Xavier had said. Xavier, who openly loved her, called her out on something she wasn’t even sure was true. Her mind screamed at her, screamed she couldn’t love Kendall. She’d known him less than a month; you couldn’t love someone in less than a month; she’d been with Xavier over a year, and she hadn’t been truly in love with him.

Her heart? It wasn’t as loud as her brain. It was more of a whisper. A what-if, going against all the reason Kate so commonly used; her heart was subtle. Her heart felt Kendall’s arm around her during the movie; saw his green eyes sparkle when he smiled at her. Most of all, her heart felt his lips against her forehead, when he thought she was sleeping.

The argument inside her head was maddening. Her body, however, was on autopilot. She walked into her bedroom, gently picking up his flannel shirt. It was soft, and it smelled like him. She slipped it over her tank top, then returned to the living room. Curling up in her worn textile chair, she began to read.

Finally, her heart and head made a truce, and both were silent. When Kate was reading, it was like she was in the book. Her problems were non-existent; instead, she followed along side the characters. She’d get completely lost in books, often reading for hours on end. Which is why it wasn’t surprising when the loud ring of her cell phone snapped her back into reality three hours later.

“Hello,” she gasped, trying to regain her breath. She glanced at the old clock hanging from the wall. It was nearly 5:00; whoever was on the other line was anybody’s guess.

“Hey, you okay Katherine?” There was a mix of concern and laughter in the voice, and Kate rolled her eyes.

“Jesse, you scared me! I was reading…” she explained, marking her page and setting the book down. She was nearly finished, there were only a few pages left…Jesse and his stupid timing.

“Of course you were. I was just wondering if you wanted to come over for dinner. I figured you might not wanna be alone after whatever happened. Plus, Jay is dying to see you again,” Jesse offered, and Kate smiled a bit. She liked Jayna, or Jay, as she preferred to be called. She seemed genuinely interested in Jesse, and good for him.

“Well, I’d love to. What time should I be over?”

“Any time really. If you wanted to leave now, that’s fine,” Jesse hinted, and Kate laughed.

“Okay, leaving now. See you in a few.” She hung up the phone and started towards her door, then remembered something. She slid her arms out of the button down flannel, reluctantly laying it over the couch. She didn’t need questions from Jesse; he was all too overprotective and not her first choice for boy talk. By the time she walked in, she could smell lasagna baking in the oven; it was her favorite.

“What smells so good?” she teased, turning into the kitchen. It had stainless steel appliances, granite counter-tops, and an island.

“Oh, I don’t know. Food, maybe?” Jesse joked back, giving her a hug. She saw Jay behind him, and broke away, smiling.

“It’s nice to see you again,” she said, engulfing her in a hug. Jay laughed and returned the embrace.

“Nice to see you too, Kate,” she said in her musical soprano voice. Everything about her was ethereal from her long, blond curls to her big cobalt blue eyes, to the way she moved with more grace than Kate could ever hope for. Then there was the fact that she was possibly the sweetest thing ever.

“So, you okay? What happened?” Jesse asked as the girls sat down at the island. Jesse stood facing them on the other side, apron and all.

“I’m fine. Xavier and I, well, we’re done. It just wasn’t working anymore,” Kate shrugged. Jesse gave her a look of sympathy, but was cut off by the oven. He walked across the ivory and sand colored tiles to check supper. Jay leaned close to Kate, her voice low enough so Jesse wouldn’t hear.

“If you broke it off, why are you so happy? And why do you smell like awfully yummy cologne?” she inquired, her eyes dancing mischievously.

“It wasn’t meant to be. It’s a relief to just be done with the fights. And because of a shirt a friend lent me,” she answered quickly, her cheeks pink.

“A male friend?” Jay badgered, and the pink turned to a bright red.

“Yes. His name is Kendall. And he’s just a friend,” Kate answered, speaking so fast that her words were mashed together.

“Then why were you wearing his shirt long enough to smell like him?” Kate had no answer. The whole Kendall thing got more and more confusing by the moment. That or the answer was so plainly obvious, but she refused to accept it.

“It’s complicated,” she settled on, biting down on her chapped lip. Jay nodded in empathy, her golden ringlets falling over her shoulder.

“Then uncomplicate it. You like him, tell him,” she suggested. Kate sighed, focusing instead on her brother, whose back was to them cutting the lasagna and preparing a salad.

“It’s not that easy. He’s kinda famous, and has a gazillion girls after him, and I don’t think he could like me like that. I’m just so…me.”

“So what? How could he not like you? You’re not just some girl, Kate,” Jay said sternly. Kate had never had many girl friends, she found girls snotty and dramatic. But Jay, she was more easy-going and intelligent. She also had some great esteem-boosting advice.

“Still, he’s basically my best friend. I don’t want to lose that,” she murmured softly, running her fingers through her hair absentmindedly.

“You don’t have to tell him right away, if you don’t want to. But you should tell him sooner or later, otherwise, you’ll regret it,” Jay whispered, just as Jesse returned with a clear glass pan in one hand, and a big bamboo bowl in the other.

“If you ladies will follow me into the dining area,” he said in his best ‘fancy’ voice. Kate was stifling laughter; Jay just got a corny smile on her face. Kate knew both of them were head over heels in love already. However, that put a bullet in Kate’s theory you couldn’t love someone in a month. She sat at the table, watching the glances, laughs, and smiles exchanged between Jay and Jesse, and knew that’s what she wanted.

But how much was she willing to risk getting it?