This One's For You

“So, you wanna tell me who the hell this is Katherine?” Jesse asked, motioning at Kendall, who still stood beside her, watching intently. Kate flinched at the sound of her full name; Jesse was the only one who she ever let call her that, besides their parents.

“Quite frankly, I don’t think you’re in the position to ask questions right now. He’s my friend, and he was just leaving,” her voice dripped with venom, but she looked at Kendall with pleading eyes, begging for him to go, no questions asked.

“What’s going on?” he hissed under his breath, keeping one eye on Jesse.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll tell you later. Just go. Please.” From her tone, he knew it was best to just agree, but he still hesitated for a minute, looking back one last time before closing the door behind him.

“So, little sister, I think you owe me some explanations,” Jesse stated, his ice blue eyes meeting her hazel ones. She lifted her head defiantly. He crossed his arms, waiting.

“I come home to my apartment, 3,000 miles from where you’re supposed to be, and I owe explanations? How did you get in here, anyway? Cause unless you’re Spiderman, I’m pretty sure you didn’t use the window. How did you know where to find me?” She stormed towards him, her hand gestures flying like crazy; her words had begun to mush together, and her voice hit an octave it usually didn’t. Even with her accusations, Jesse showed no sign of guilt or remorse.

“I told the doorman I was your brother, showed some ID, and he let me in,” Jesse shrugged, staring down at her. He didn’t move away or back down like others might have, though.

“And the other thing?” she asked, her arms now crossed. For the first time, a look of guilt flashed in his eyes. Her eyes widened in response, and she ran her fingers through her coffee colored hair, turned on her heel, and started towards her bedroom.

“Katherine, wait,” Jesse said, following after her. She turned suddenly, rage spewing off of her tiny frame.

“You asked Xavier? And he told you?” Although her voice depicted rage, her eyes showed hurt and betrayal.

“Look, you didn’t even tell me you were leaving. I came home, and your stuff was gone. No note, no phone call. After Mom and Dad…I couldn’t lose you too.” His deep voice got quiet, and he ran his fingers through his hair, the same color as his sister’s. She watched him though, her eyes still radiating disapproval.

“Like you cared! After the accident, you wouldn’t even look at me! You blame me, and I know it. I blame me too,” she screamed, her voice cracking, her hard exterior breaking. Tears welled up, coating her long, thick eyelashes. She brought her hands up, covering her face, and her whole body shook with sobs. Jesse wrapped his arms around her, holding her close.

“Shh, Katherine. It’s not your fault, and I don’t blame you. You’re right, I couldn’t look at you, but not for that reason. You looked so much like them, and with everything you did, you reminded me more and more of them. I didn’t want you to see me break down, so I hid from you,” Jesse whispered into the top of her head, his own voice wavering.

“But it is my fault, Jesse,” she looked up at him, her big eyes filled with tears. “They drove out in the storm for me. If I hadn’t left my stupid purse at the theater, they wouldn’t have crashed,” she whimpered. Jesse just shook his head, hugging her tighter.

“It’s not your fault. The other car ran the red light. You had no control over that,” he assured her, and she snuggled her head into his chest, shaking. He rested his head against the top of hers, trying to hid the tears that slid down his own face.

“I’m sorry, Jesse. I should have told you I was going. I should have told you where I was staying. But after those months of you avoiding me, I couldn’t face you. I thought you hated me, and I’d be doing you a favor,” she mumbled against the fabric of his shirt, he shook his head.

“No, you weren’t. You’re my baby sister, and I love you. I lost Mom and Dad, and then you. I should’ve come sooner,” he whispered.

“Why didn’t you? Why did you spend all that time back home ignoring me, then wait a month to come find me?” Her voice was hoarse from crying, and she looked up at him, too tired to hide the hurt and confusion she felt.

“I thought maybe you were happier. But with the anniversary tomorrow, I knew I couldn’t face it alone. It was selfish, really,” he admitted, and she gave a small smile, wiping his tears away with her thumb.

“Well, you’re an idiot. But I guess I’m glad you found me.” She wrapped her arms around him, and they stood embracing for a couple of minutes. When they finally pulled apart, both had bloodshot eyes and tear stained cheeks.

“So, can I ask about the guy now?” Jesse asked, his big brother protectiveness kicking back in. Kate rolled her eyes and groaned, walking to sit on the couch with her knees pulled to her chest. She grabbed a gingham blanket from the back of the couch and wrapped it around her tightly. Jesse followed, sitting on the couch facing her.

“His name’s Kendall. He’s my best friend here, I guess. We met three days ago.” Her mind recalculated. Had it really only been three days?

“Three days? You’ve been here almost a month, and you just started making friends three days ago?” Jesse teased, and she covered her face with one hand.

“Yeah. He’s a really good guy though,” she said, peeking at her brother through her fingers. He was shaking his head, laughing.

“You have one friend here?”

“Four, technically. Kendall’s…co-workers, Carlos, Logan, and James. I met them yesterday. I kicked their butts at video games and poker. We’re all best friends now,” Kate explained, flashing her brother a smile. He just kept chuckling, and she cocked her head.

“Your only friends here are four guys?”

“Really, Jesse? That’s all you got out of that? They’re just friends, and really nice ones at that.”

“Just friends? Then why was Blondie walking you to the door?”

“It was pouring out, so he drove me back here. And then he just wanted to make sure I made it up okay. Its called being a gentleman, not like you’d know though.” She chucked a pillow at his head, but he caught it.

“Fine. But how does Xavier feel about this?” Jesse asked, raising an eyebrow at her. She turned a light pink, and his eyes got bigger. Before he could say anything, she cut him off.

“He doesn’t know they’re all guys. He knows I made friends though,” she said, trying to justify her actions.

“Oh, Katherine,” Jesse shook his head, but couldn’t help his half grin.

“Hey, if he’d bother to call me when he’s sober, or not have to run off to a meeting every other second…” Kate trailed off, realizing that she was pissed at him. Not just for the lack of calling, but for betraying her trust. Even if she was glad Jesse was here, she had told Xavier not to tell anybody where she was, especially her brother.

“Wait, back up. Did you say sober? As in he was not sober?” Jesse asked, staring incredulously at her.

“Well, it was really just one time. He called me drunk last night…” she admitted reluctantly. Jesse’s face filled with disappointment.

“That kid’s gonna get himself in trouble,” he muttered, more so to himself than Kate.

“He’s just having a rough time,” she mumbled.

“You making excuses for him isn’t gonna help. I should talk some sense into that boy…” Jesse said, and Kate looked up at him, eyes wide.

“You will most certainly not! I happen to like him, and his face very much so,” Kate warned, knowing her brother all too well.

“Fine. But just say the word, and I’ll handle it,” Jesse offered, and Kate rolled her eyes.

“Where are you staying, anyway?” she asked, suddenly realizing while her brother owned a house, it was about 3,000 miles away.

“Well, I’m staying at a hotel for now,” he explained, and her heart sunk, as did her expression. After months of masking her feelings, she was exhausted. Even if she did, her brother knew better.

“Oh. For how long?” She was already calculating how much time she could spend with him before classes and before he had to go.

“Well, that’s the thing. I have to stay in a hotel for now, but I should be able to move into my new house Wednesday.”

“Wait, rewind, go back, explain yourself!” Kate demanded, his words all too vague for her taste.

“Well, I bought a house. Here in the Valley,” he said, a smug smirk making it’s way across his face. The initial shock left her face, and she jumped up, tackling her brother in a hug.

“You’re moving here? Jesse, this is so great!” she squealed, and he laughed, pushing her off. She fell with a thud on the floor, but quickly bounced back up, returning to her spot on the couch.

“Well, I figured we’d been apart too long already. We’re family, and family sticks together,” he said sternly, but both were smiling. “And I have nothing holding me to Maine anymore, and your dreams are here. I couldn’t move you away from your dreams.” Kate got ready to tackle him again, but he gave her a warning glance, and she backed off. However, she was smiling like a maniac.

“I’m really glad, Jesse. What about your job though? And what about Amy?” she asked, frowning. Back in Maine, he was an accountant for a very successful sporting goods company.

“The company accepted my petition to transfer to the West Coast branch. I’m actually helping to open a new store in Los Angeles. And Amy and I are history. She decided I was too much of an emotional downer for her,” he said, shrugging.

“Congrats on the job thing, but I’m sorry to hear about Amy. It’s her loss, really,” Kate assured him, and he smiled.

“Well, thanks kid. I don’t know about you, but all this stuff has me starving. You wanna get some food?” he asked, and she couldn’t help but laugh. Some things, like her brother’s constant appetite, would never change. But he was right, she had skipped lunch, and it was nearing 2:00.

“Well, that sounds great, but I have no food here. However, there’s something I’d like to do first,” she said, a smile creeping upon her face.

“Oh boy, what?” he groaned, immediately suspicious of her smile.

“What kind of sister would I be if I let you stay at a hotel? Go get your things; you can stay here for a few days.” Jesse smiled, hugging his sister.

“I’ll be back in a bit; my hotel’s in downtown Los Angeles,” he said, crinkling his nose. “At least I have my car though.”

“Okay. Pick up some food on your way back?” He rolled his eyes at her, but nodded in agreement.

“I’ll be an hour, maybe. You gonna be okay for an hour?” he asked, examining her face closely.

“Yeah. I have to call Kendall anyway. I’m pretty sure he thought you were some ax murderer. It really was kinda sketchy, sitting all alone in the dark waiting for me to come home,” she teased, earning her a pillow to the face. Her reaction time wasn’t nearly fast enough to see it coming.

“Fine. Am I picking up lunch for him too, then?” Jesse asked, and Kate shrugged. “You’re so incredibly difficult, Katherine.”

“I know. Love you, Jesse,” she called as he opened the door to leave.

“Love you too, kid,” he replied, then left. Kate pulled her cell phone out of her pocket, and sent Kendall a quick text. Within five minutes, she heard a knock at the door, and wondered if he’d even returned to his apartment.

“Come in,” she called, and Kendall walked in slowly, looking around. “It’s alright.”

“Are you okay?” he asked, taking in her red eyes and face. She nodded, patting the spot next to her. He obliged, sat down, and watched her carefully.

“I think I owe you some explanations, huh?” she said softly, her eyes downcast.

“If you want,” he said, putting his hands in his pockets. She took a breath, and brought her eyes to meet his.

“That was my brother, Jesse. I didn’t exactly tell him I was coming here, or that I was moving. See, I had been living with him for nine or ten months.” She watched Kendall, expecting questions. None came; he was being respectful. But Kate knew if she didn’t come out with it now, she never would. She looked at her lap again, too ashamed to look at him while explaining the rest.

“A year ago, tomorrow, there was an accident. There was this awful thunderstorm, and I’d just gotten home from the Movie Theater; I worked there back then. But I realized I’d left my purse. My mom didn’t want me driving in the storm, or without my license, so she and my dad went to get it,” she whispered, her voice starting to crack, but still, she carried on.

“After awhile, when they weren’t home, I started to worry. Then, the police called.” She paused, taking a deep, shaky breath. “Another driver ran a red light, and he smashed right into them. They died instantly.

“Jesse had just started his job and bought a new apartment at that point, but he rushed to be there. We had no other family, so he took me in. But it was like he couldn’t look at me. I blamed myself for the accident, and in my mind, he did too.” Kendall watched, wanting more than anything to reach out to her, but she wasn’t finished yet.

“So, last month, he was out of town for the weekend. I had gotten my acceptance letter from Long Beach back in May, and had all the transfer stuff worked out; I’d worked all summer straight to afford everything. I packed up my stuff, bought a one way ticket, and left. The only person I told was Xavier, with strict instructions not to tell Jesse.

“But Xavier did anyway. Jesse loves me, and he was worried. He came to find me, even though I’d thought he hated me.” Kate’s voice wavered, and finally, the tears poured down her face. Kendall reached over, pulling her close. Seeing the tears on her face made his heart ache.

“He’s your brother. He doesn’t hate you,” he whispered. She looked up at him, biting her lip and blinking back the waterworks.

“I know. But it’s my fault; how can he not hate me? I hate me.” Kendall’s heart broke inside of him, and he held her, at a loss for what to do. So, he did the only thing he could and held her, grasping for the right words.

“It’s not your fault, Kate. You’re a good person,” he whispered, looking directly into her teary hazel eyes. She eventually nodded, then buried her head in the crook of his neck, the sobs slowly lessening. It took about ten minutes before she could speak.

“You don’t want to run away now?” she asked, her voice raspy. He looked down on her, shaking his head.

“Kate, how could I? It’s not your fault; you’re just burdened by it. Quite frankly, you deserve friends to help you, ‘cause if you keep trying to do this alone, it’ll crush you,” he murmured, and she nodded, still clinging to his side.

“Thank you. You’ve done so much for me, and I’ve only known you three days,” she said in a small voice. He held her tighter, wishing he never had to let go.

“No, thank you. You’ve changed the way I’ve been seeing things, and you’ve opened my eyes,” he whispered into her hair.

“You know,” she said suddenly, her eyes still closed, listening to Kendall’s soothing heartbeat. “The world really sucks.”

“Yeah. It really does,” he mumbled back, holding on to her tight, because it was the only thing he could do.