Golden Because We're Alive

Adam walked up to me in the hallway. I looked at Rachel as she decided to walk away from me at that moment. I had no reason to want to talk to him.

“So, I hear you’ve moved on,” said my ex nonchalantly.

“Does it matter to you?” I asked him. The irritation was obvious to me.

I saw a couple of the guys from the team in the hallway ahead of me. Despite the fact that they told me they would be tougher on him, I knew he was still one of their boys. Everything was in the past for them, and it should have been. It had happened weeks ago.

“Em, I’m sorry about what happened,” he pleaded.

“No, you’re not. You stuck your dick where it didn’t belong. Don’t cry to me,” I said angrily.

Adam let me walk away. I wiped the tears that were forming away. Sure, I wasn’t happy about everything that had happened, but I still had feelings for him. I hadn’t gotten over him. Tyler had been nice to me, but it would take time for me to actually get over everything that I had been put through because of the drama.

Tyler wasn’t even in town for me to run crying to. I didn’t want a hockey player for a new relationship. There was the possibility of me liking him for more than just a friend, and I did actually like him more, but I didn’t want to be without him to talk to on so many days out of the year. It terrified me to think of just being alone though. I had been in a relationship for almost two years, and before that I hadn’t really cared. I just wanted to have someone to like him.

-x-

“Emily, have you paid any consideration to where you want to go?” asked Mr. Smith, the school guidance counselor. The meeting had been arranged for a while now, but I could only think of my life outside of school like the things that were going on that I was now dealing with.

“Ms. McMurphy, look at me. Think about your options,” sighed the counselor.

“I know my options. I’ve applied. I know what I want to do,” I finally answered.

There was a reason I was in there. We never got pulled in unless there was a pressing issue that needed to be discussed, but I think it may have been that he finally saw the information card that I filled out for the senior questionaire that said “Get the hell out of my house.” In hindsight, that wasn’t the best thing to have put down on what I wanted most in life.

“Please tell me you have something more than getting out of your house as an idea on what you want to do, Emily,” said Mr. S. I grinned. He shook his head meeting my eyes. He had been dealing with me for the past three years, and now he got to deal with this little bit of my personality again. We went through the same thing every year.

“What? That wasn’t a good idea? Fine, I’m looking at either English education or sports medicine,” I told him.

“Really? I can’t believe you actually had those ideas. I was going to suggest business management,” said the man sitting across the desk from me.

“Why? I don’t think I’m a business person.”

I wanted to know what would make anyone think I could make it in the business world. I thought back to a disastrous moment when I was a sophomore of me and a group of others doing a carwash, but the idea had crashed with me at the wheel. That was then what made me decide that business savvy was something that I happened to not be. At least I knew there was something I couldn’t do before attempting it later.

“Just a hunch, Emily. Now go. I have other students that are in a worse state then you,” said Mr. Smith dismissively. I smiled and gathered my things to leave. I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket, and I grinned figuring that it was going to be the one person that I wanted to really talk to other than Rachel, but I could talk to her whenever I wanted to do so.

“Emily!” said the one voice that seemed to cheer me up. I could hear the smile through the phone. They had flown out the day before to Toronto, so I hadn’t actually been expecting to hear from him until after the game since who knew what they could be doing before then. Plus, he had the opportunity to do whatever he wanted to do while not around.

“Tyler! What’s up?” I asked him excitedly. After talking to Adam earlier that day, I only really felt like talking to the people who could make me happy.

“Not much. My family’s here, but I figured I could call you since I noticed it would be time for you to be leaving school,” answered the boy.

“Go back to your family. Call me later. Annoy others. They’re your family,” I told Tyler. I could see Rachel and Tony walking my way as I was on the phone. I figured that they were going to be expecting me to give them their rides home, but I really wished I could have stayed on the phone longer than I was staying on right then.

“Fine. I’ll call you when I get the chance. Bye, Em,” he sighed. I could tell he wasn’t too upset that I was telling him to talk to his family instead of me. Tyler hung up, and I looked at Rachel and Tony as they stood in front of me.

“Look, Tone, she has that happy smile. Who do you think that was on the phone?” joked Rach. I stuck my tongue out at her and walked away from the two towards the door. I at least could not deal with them after I got home. It would be easier to just relax.

I dropped them off and got home with enough time to just make myself dinner. I looked around the table and wondered if anyone would be home eventually. I sighed and was glad that it was Friday night. No school in the morning. Nothing to worry about. I was in the clear. I could relax. I could let my hair down for once. For the first time in a long time at least.

“Emily! I’m home,” called my dad as I walked up the stairs. I didn’t know when my mom would be getting home, but I actually did not care. I was going to lock myself in my room just having a bit of a relaxation weekend. It was deserved.

I painted my nails a bright yellow and watched old episodes of Criminal Minds. I waited for a call to come in from the one person whose voice that I wanted to hear. That was when my phone started to ring. I didn’t even bother with the caller ID. Who else would be calling me at this point?

“Hey, Em,” said Tyler. I could hear Brad singing in the background. I rolled my eyes and just focused on our conversation. Who cared about his roommate?