The Summer List

Summer. School was out. The year was over and I was free. But not really; school was my escape. I hated most of the people and the work was redundant, but at least it wasn't home.

At school I didn't have to hold my mom's hair as she vomited from drinking too much.

At school I didn't have to put up with the guys mom always managed to bring home. Didn't have to deal with days like today when I walk in my own front door, only to see my mom's face interlocked with a random stranger's. "Ugh." I groaned in revolt, backing out the door. Typical mom. She probably wouldn't even remember the guy's name tomorrow.

I heard her attempt to open the door, but she was too drunk to properly work the handle. Before she could figure it out I was already halfway down the street.

I soon found myself at the pier, discovering a relatively secluded location to sit with my thoughts. One of the few benefits of living where I do in California is that I'm always withing walking distance of the ocean.

I couldn't help but be a little bitter towards my mom; if I couldn't find a guy then why should she? As soon as the thought registered I mentally slapped myself, saying that wasn't fair. If one-night-stands made her happy, who was I to get in the way? Angry, I pulled a small book from my bag and looked at it. The cover was a dark green with golden etchings along the border. In the middle rested a beautiful white wolf. I flipped it open, my drawings over the year staring back at me. Cold, unmoving, heartless. A swan landing on an icy lake; a sapling among burned pines; the graceful leap of a fleeing deer. Each a little better than the last. I held a delicate pencil in my hands and stared at its simple wonder.

Pencil on paper, eyes closed, I began to draw. I didn't allow myself to think, simply let the picture become what it wanted. In the middle of a sweep of my pencil I was interrupted by a shout. Suddenly a boy and girl fell into the sand beside me, kissing like there was no tomorrow.

I cleared my throat uncomfortably and they finally separated. The boy, who had a rather unfortunate case of acne, looked completely dazed while the girl only sneered at me. She pulled him away, leaving me feeling even more alone than before. I put in my headphones to blast away the loneliness. Before I knew it I wasn't alone anymore, but my tired mind didn't realize it was a dream.

~~~

I jerked awake and the first thing I realized was how dark it was; it couldn't have been earlier than 11 o'clock. The second thing I realized was that I really wasn't alone this time. I sat up, staring at the girl who hadn't noticed me yet. She was sitting in the sand where the surf occasionally came up just close enough to wet her feet. I could make out few details except how the moonlight made her hair shimmer in the darkness.

I carefully stood up, staying as quiet as possible, when my sketch book suddenly fell from my grasp. For a moment, I thought she hadn't heard me because of the headphones in her ears, but she turned and looked in my direction. She smiled at me and I backed away from the friendly gesture. She withdrew the ear-buds and opened her mouth to speak, but I was already sprinting down the beach. Hey, I never claimed to be a people person.