Real as Real Can Get

“I came here to ask if you had those souvenir things your brother sent from London. You know, the one that says ‘Keep calm you can still marry Harry’. The pin.” She said and smiled.

“What happened to yours?” I asker her as I rummaged through my stuff; searching for one of those pins.

“I kind of… uhh.. lost it.” She said sheepishly and I glared pointedly at her. She plopped down in front of my computer and turned the chair to face me. I sighed in relief. She CAN NOT find out so early.

“Gah. Here you go.” I said and tossed her a pin. She smiled and thanked me.

“Hey, Amity.. since you’re from Europe, have you ever seen Prince William, Prince Harry ,and Prince Phillip in person?” Lauren asked. Fuck, I’m so screwed.

“Huh… yeah. They’re pretty swell. Great manners. But, I don’t know about Harry’s manners. He eats his sundae with a straw. He slurps his sundae.” I said and mentally slapped myself from saying too much.

“How’d you know that!?” Lauren asked.

“You’ll find out three weeks from now.” I muttered and sat down on my bed.

“Hey, Lauren, I need to go back home on Monday. I’ll be gone until May 1.” I said seriously.

“Lucky you, you can watch the Royal Wedding. LIVE.” She stated. You don’t know the half of it.HaHHayrjsfllskjf

“Yeah. Be sure to watch, ok?” I asked her and smiled half-heartedly.

“Sure. I need to ogle at Prince Harry.” She said and giggled. I subtly clenched my fists and narrowed my eyes at her.

“He’s dating an Oompa Loompa, you know. Well, he used to date an Oompa Loompa. Chelsy Davy.” I said and laughed lightly, trying to lighten my mood. I hope Harry didn’t take offense in that.

“Really!? That orange girl? Fuck, woman, you’re more beautiful than her. You’re the prettiest girl here in America!” Lauren shouted and I instantly felt guilty. “I wonder why you’re not a princess or a duchess or something like that.”

“Are you kidding? She’s the most beautiful woman in the entire world.” Harry’s British accented voice rang aloud. Lauren must have recognized the voice ‘cuz she started squealing her head off as she opened the chat window. Harry and William were there. Harry was smiling sheepishly.

“Lauren, LAUREN!” I said and shook her.

“Y-you… them! Prince Harry! EEEEEEP!” She squealed again. I smacked her over the head and she stopped.

“Lauren, don’t freak out or anything. I know you’re gonna be angry… because we’re best friends and we swore never to keep secrets from each other. You know them, right? William and Harry Wales. Guys, Lauren. My American best friend.” I said and sighed heavily.

“Hey, you’re so racist. American best friend? And, yes, I know them.” She said and feigned hurt.

“Sorry, sorry. Yeah. Okay… you know all about the princess of Monaco, right? How she disappeared and only came back once in a blue moon. You called her a bitch for hanging out with Will.” I said slowly. She nodded confusedly. God, she’s so slow.

“I don’t get it.” She said dumbly. I pursed my lips and heaved a sigh.

“The princess and I.. we’re the same person. My real name’s Lillian Amity. The Princess of Monaco. Think about it, the same time I disappear from America, she appears back in Europe. She never goes out without large sunglasses and a hat. I have most of the same stuff she has.” I trailed off and she grinned.

“I’ve known for a long time.” She stated almost smugly. Well, that was really… unexpected.

“How long?” I asked.

“Ever since your first disappearance to go ‘visit your grandmother’. You should really check your nails, Amity. I noticed your nail polish when these two and your brother hung out. Your left hand’s nails were coated in dark violet nail polish. The right one was coated in lilac. I only called her a bitch to make you crack.” She said smugly and I hugged her tightly.

“Fuck you.” I muttered and we laughed.

“Well, since Lauren’s cool with everything, why don’t you bring her along on Monday?” William asked.

“Really!?” Lauren asked giddily.

“Sure, why not? You wanna come with me, Lauren?” I asked softly.

“Uhh… YEAH! Are you deaf, woman!? The Prince of Wales invited me to his wedding!” She said and started jumping around like a fool.

“While she’s jumping around like a fool… I want to do a benefit thing for Sentebale (A/N: For those who don’t know what Sentebale is… it’s prince Harry’s charity.)

“A benefit what? Benefit auction? Gala? Concert? Polo match?” Harry asked me as his cheeks reddened up. His eyes were so bright that I just had to smile.

“A benefit polo match. Be sure not to fall off your horse this time.” I teased him and Will and I laughed. He rolled his eyes and pouted. That made me hot and bothered.

“Just you wait, Amity. Just you wait.” Harry warned and I rolled my eyes.

“I better tell my mom and dad and the whole world about this!!! I’ll see you tomorrow, Amity! I mean, your royal highness!” Lauren said and kissed my cheek then waved goodbye to the princes of Wales.

“I’m gonna kill you if we get mobbed by paparazzi on Monday! LAUREN! I’m serious!” I yelled and she giggled as she closed the door behind her.

“LAUREN! Fuck you, woman! Fuck you!” I said with a laugh and Harry laughed along with me. William looked really shocked. I was not the one to curse.

“Since when did you curse?” William asked.

“Ever since Harry taught me.” I said and grinned. William hit Harry’s shoulder lightly.

“You taught her to curse?” He scolded Harry.

“I didn’t think she would actually use it.” Harry admitted. I laughed.

“You two are such losers. What about I leave tomorrow morning so that Lauren and I will get there at around noon; Sunday?” I asked them.

“The earlier the better.” William said and grinned.

“Will, I have a question… don’t get mad, okay?” I said softly. He nodded.

“What happened to your hair? I mean… did you insult a lawn mower or something? Did the gardener get mad at you?” I started laughing along with Harry. It wasn’t just a laugh-laugh. It was a hilarious-as-fuck laugh. William rolled his eyes.

“Sure, make fun of the second-in-line for the British throne.” He said unamusedly and looked serious as hell.

“Don’t rub it in just because you have a clear chance of being the King of England while we’re stuck as the third-in-line people.” I said and pouted. William laughed.

***
“Lauren! Hurry the fuck up. The plane leaves in an hour.” I yelled and honked my horn twice. She bounded out the front door with her bags and tossed those in the trunk before taking the vacant seat beside me. I waved goodbye to her parents and drove off to the airport.

“So, what did you guys talk about once I left?” Lauren asked as we took our seats in the plane.

“Nothing. Just typical royal stuff.” I answered and started writing lyrics on the empty sheet of paper in front of me.

“Like?” She pressed further.

“You know… the throne. Castles. Projects. Stuff like that that we do for the commoners. I mean, the normal people. Sorry.” I mumbled and smiled at her. She rolled her eyes.

“So, this makes me the royal best friend of Princess Lillian of Monaco.. right?” She asked and nudged me.

“Yeah, yeah. If there is such a thing.” I said and laughed quietly. She hit my shoulder lightly and pouted.

“Alright, alright. You can be the royal best friend.” I gave in and continued writing my song.

***

24 hours later, with a major butt cramp, and major jet lag, we arrived in London. We pushed through the thick London crowd in the airport and eventually made it to the car that was supposed to pick us up. We got in and the chauffer drove off to my family’s house near Clarence house.

“We’re here.” I said aloud and heard rushed footsteps. My parents and my brother ran down the stairs and tackled me in hugs.

“It’s only been like, 4 months. Guys, this is my best friend. Lauren Joy Stevenson. Lauren, my mom. Queen Lillybeth. My dad. King Edvard VI. My brother. Phillip Alexander. You can call him Alex.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet all of you.” Lauren said and curtsied. I laughed as my mom took her in a bear hug.

“The pleasure is all ours, Cherie.” She said happily and we talked for a while as the maids arranged our luggage in our rooms.