Kill All Your Friends.

The following weeks I spent every day identically; sitting on a bench outside the hospital. Frank had managed to reason with Mikey, saying I was doing no harm sitting there. He'd even said it would probably help me. It wasn't though, and everyday my name crept up the waiting list for therapy.
It was Thursday morning when the letter came, I was laid on the sofa and Mikey picked it up.
"It's for you Ge, it looks like it's from the hospital" He said. Panic shot up me.
"What if it's about Bert?" I choked. "WHAT IF..?"
"Calm down," Mikey interrupted. "They won't mail something so important."
He had a point but I still didn't want to read it, whatever was in that envelope was bad news.
"You read it" I eventually stuttered.
"Okay." Mikey sighed. "Gerard Arthur Way is requested to attend a therapy session with Doctor Lindsey Ballato on the 09th August at the Arendale Hospital at 2:30pm"
He passed it to me and I read the rest, it wasn't relevent. But the first sentence was. I was going to therapy.
The 9th of August came around all to soon and before I knew it I was in a taxi on the way to the hospital.
"Come in with me?" I begged Frank, my eyes pleading with his.
"You need to do this on your own" He smiled, rubbing my shoulders to reassure me.
"I can't, please" I said, my voice breaking with nerves and desperation.
"I don't know" He muttered, so I moved my hand towards his knee in the desperate hope I'd change his mind. "Ehhh...Okay. I'll come. Just this once"
"Thank you" I smiled weakly.
The taxi stopped and we walked towards the hospital psychiatric ward. I sorted out my details and sat beside Frank waiting for the doctor to see me. My body kept jerking with nerves and I felt nauseous.
"I don't want to go Frankie" I muttered.
"You can do it. Think of the consequences. You can see Bert again!!" I considered what Frank said and I become braver.
" I can do this" I whispered.
Stand up fucking tall
"Gerard Way" The bored receptionist said, not looking up from her magazine. "Room three"
Me and Frank stood up and I headed towards the room.
"Not you just Gerard Way" The receptionist said, waggling a finger at Frank.
"I need him" I said.
"I'm afraid you can't..." She was interrupted by a good looking women with black hair and red lipstick.
"It's okay, he can come in. Just this once" She smiled, indicating for us to enter the room.
"Take a seat" She was still smiling, she reached out her hand to shake mine, I declined. "I'm Lindsey Ballato, and you must be Gerard Way?"
"Yes" I whispered.
"And who is with you today?"
"Frank. My friend" She turned to Frank and smiled, reaching her hand out to shake his.
"Okay Gerard, this therapy session will be different to the others. The initial visit is a chance for us to get to know each other. Now please bare in mind psychotherapy is a long-term process, we won't have a solution today, but you must trust me" She shuffled some papers and smiled again Trust, you said . "So Gerard, why do you think you are here today?"
"I don't know" I whispered. She pulled a face and I could tell she was annoyed.
"It's to do with what happened to your boyfriend, I understand?"
"Umm, yes"
"What did you do?" She began to type furiously.
"I ripped the wires"
"So why? What were you feeling?"
"I don't know" I sigh. She pulled out a sheet of paper and placed it in front of me, it was a list of words such as; Lonely, sad, frustrated, angry.
"Why don't you circle the emotions that apply to you?" She passed me a pencil.
I carelessly circled 'Angry' and 'Sad' only doing it so this session would hurry up and end.
"Okay then Gerard. Why did you feel angry?"
"I don't know" She raised her eyebrows.
"Were you angry because he was ill?"
"I don't know, I didn't think he could die"
Oh how wrong we were to think
That immortality meant never dying
"Why were you sad?"
"I don't know!"
"Okay Gerard, you seem pretty unresponsive. I'm going to prepare a session for you next week which won't involve much talking okay? I'm also not happy about the presence of Frank, maybe you're scared you'll embarrass yourself in front of your friends." She pulled a face before picking up an appointment card and writing down a time and date, she passed it to me. "I'll see you next week, goodbye.
She smiled again.