Kill All Your Friends.

His fist relentlessly collided with my face, my thoughts reverberated off the sides of my skull and I slammed helplessly into the wall behind me.

Got out alive but with scars I can't forget.

"I hate you." Gerard cried, throwing his heavy fist towards me again but missing in his drunken state. He himself fell against the wall beside me and slumped lifelessly to the floor.

"I hate you." He began to sob uncontrollably, resting his head in his hands to hide the glistening tears running from his eyes.

He had cried so much these past weeks my heart couldn't break into any smaller pieces at the sight.

This was my brother now.

"I want to see him."

I sighed outwardly; we'd been over this so many times it was almost etched into my brain. 'No, you can't Gerard', 'No, it's too dangerous Gerard', 'They won't let you, Gerard', 'They don't trust you, Gerard'.

“You know you can’t.” I sighed moving to stand up only to be pounced on by Gerard, his eyes were sore with tears and spit hung from his mouth.

If I tell you the truth, you'd vie for a lie. If I spilt my guts, it would make a mess we can't clean up.

“I hate you.”

He began to punch me mercilessly in the face and in the gut, with every blow he shed tears and I grew bruises.

“They took away Frank.” His words caused him to punch me even harder, my stomach was becoming sore and I was finding it hard to catch a breath.

“They took away Bert.” Gerard shouted moving his bloody hands to my head; I slammed back hard into the wall and could feel blood trickling down my neck.

Tell me that you need me 'cause I love you so much.

“I hate you.” He screamed one final time before spitting in my face, he rose from above me and paced the room. My head was pounding, my breathing ragged, my eyes were swollen shut and a searing pain had begun in my lungs.

I heard the front door slam close and I was left alone, unable to cry for help, unable to breath, unable to see.

We all have our horrors and our demons to fight, but how can I win, when I'm paralyzed?