Kill All Your Friends.

I watched as Mikey padded through to the cramped living room, he was wearing his boxers and his hair was unbrushed. 
He threw himself down beside me without a hello.
I'd woken up early that morning, unable to get my thoughts of Gerard to vanish.
"Why are you dressed, it's only 9." Mikey asked with a lack of interest. 
"Couldn't sleep." I replied watching him as he flicked through the channels on our tv. 
"Are you ok? I heard you crying last night." This time he turned to look at me, I managed to force a smile.

Well, if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.

"Just struggling with the coursework." I lied, I could tell he didn't believe me. 
"It is a bit much." He muttered pretending to watch the figures on the tv; don't get me wrong, I liked Mikey but he was hard to figure out. 
"Maybe we should work together on it." I stated beggining to fiddle with my fingers. 
We had only known eachother for two days and the silences were still awkward. 
"Might as well, you need friends in a place like this." He placed his hand on his head, ruffling his hair.
I smiled inwardly at his words, I didn't want to seem desparate but my feelings were often hard to hide. 
I was sure Mikey had realised my frustration over not having his brother in my arms.  

What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?

I hated myself for it but I had jumped at the chance to share a dorm with Mikey for the lone reason of getting close to Gerard. 
It was an awful thing to do and I still felt bad about it.
I jumped up from the sofa recieving a startled look from the boy next to me, too ashamed to look at his face I moved into the kitchen, opening the fridge and sticking my hand inside looking for nothing in particular.  
I didn't deserve Mikey's friendship.

I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.

I felt Mikey's leg brush against mine as he joined me in the kitchen, I refused to look at him as he pressed a hand to my back. 
"You can tell me what's wrong, Frank, I don't judge." he whispered before shuffling away leaving me to hate myself. 

I mean this, I'm okay.