Anything for You
One.
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Mark knows that when people look at him, all they can see are his accomplishments. He can’t exactly blame them; his accomplishments are astounding even for someone who wasn’t as young as he was. He’s only twenty-six years old, and he’s a multi-billionaire ... the CEO of one of the fastest-growing companies in the world. In business terms, twenty-six years old is a kid. Most people his age are still stumbling out of college, blinking in the light and wondering what they’re meant to do with themselves now that it’s become evident that their degree never necessarily meant a job. Instead of being like them, Mark is sitting in the building that holds the headquarters of his company, the one he founded when he was only nineteen years old. Back then it had seemed so easy ... he would never have known that it would ever go this far. Back then it had been exciting, innocent, just an idea. Dollar signs had been nothing to do with it and he had been creating something wonderful with the people who meant the most to him.
That’s what people didn’t see when they looked at him. Mark knew that all they would see would be the successes, the money, the fame and the accomplishments. What they wouldn’t see was what Mark had had to sacrifice for his company, for his empire. They wouldn’t see the decisions he had to make when he was far too young to be making them. They wouldn’t see the stuffy, warm offices he sat in during the lawsuits. They wouldn’t see the look of hurt in the eyes of the man who used to be their best friend, and they wouldn’t understand how it felt to know that you were the person who put it there. They wouldn’t know anything about that, because to them, success meant just that; success. It didn’t mean sacrifices.
But Mark knew the inside story, and nothing brought it back as much as being in this room did. This was unfortunate as it was the room that he practically lived and worked in every day of his life. The rest of the workstations were empty now, the computer monitors either switched off completely of humming softly on standby. Only Mark’s computer was still on properly, the silver-blue glow casting dancing shadows over the young man’s face and making him appear older than he really was. Mark felt older than he really was, and he sighed and shifted in his seat, the code on the screen in front of him flashing at him angrily. He hadn’t edited it at all for the last hour or so. He had been too deep in the thoughts of things that he didn’t want to acknowledge, and inside it was tearing him apart. He just wanted to say something, anything, to anyone, but he just couldn’t. No one understood what this whole thing had done to him anymore, not since Dustin and Chris had both left to chase after their own dreams, leaving Mark with his own. They had been the last ones at the office to have known Mark and Eduardo in the golden days, the days before everything had happened, before they had been catapulted from ordinary college kids into entrepreneurs and business men and adults instead of kids. Back then they days had consisted of video games, Mountain Dew and skipping class to sleep through a hangover. Dustin and Chris remembered the Mark and Eduardo from back then. Everyone who worked here now knew Mark their boss, and Eduardo the ex best friend whom you didn’t speak of, for fear Mark’s glares and sharp words.
Mark groaned softly to himself. He knew he wasn’t exactly discreet when it came to how a mention or a whisper of Eduardo affected him, but as the days and weeks stretched on to make more years since they had last spoken to one another, Mark couldn’t help but have to acknowledge that it was becoming harder and harder for him to continue to pretend that he was over it. Perhaps ... perhaps if there had been some closure, some sort of end ... maybe he wouldn’t still be here. But no, it had all happened so quickly for that. It had been California and hurried phone calls and Sean being Sean, and then it had been lawyer up, asshole and I’m coming back for everything and then it had been lawsuits and expansions and I’m CEO, bitch.
Squeezing his eyes shut against the glaring realization that he was currently in the room that this had occurred in, Mark sighed softly as the image of the all-too-familiar room was replaced by the memory of the hurt in Eduardo’s eyes, the hurt that had been all too clear through the anger he had forced to the forefront of his emotions. Even for Mark, who wasn’t the best at reading other people’s feelings, the hurt and the betrayal had been obvious. Mark was forced to acknowledge it every single time the thoughts broke through the code in his brain, and to his dismay this was becoming increasingly often. He missed Eduardo – he knew that he more than missed him. Perhaps he would even go as far as to say that he needed him; that he had always needed him and that the biggest mistake of his life had been watching Eduardo leave that office and not doing anything to stop him.
Eduardo had walked away.
Mark should have stopped him, said he was sorry. Mark should have ran after him, said he was sorry.
Mark should have said he was sorry.
He wasn’t sorry for what he had done, no. He had to protect his company – he was the CEO and it was his responsibility to do these things. He just wished that he had gone about it in a different way, because he knew the way he had done it was cowardly and wrong and even Mark, Emotionally Awkward Person of the Year, realized that it was no way to treat a best friend ... and Eduardo had been his best friend. In fact, in a way, he still was, because he was and remained the only person who could ever put up with Mark and his bad attitude for more than five minutes without wanting to throttle him.
But everything had blown up so fast and Mark had been a kid then. In fact he still felt like a kid now, like some child trying on his father’s boots and work blazer. He didn’t feel like a CEO in times like this. When he was alone, and when the office was quiet apart from the soft hum of computers and the code was all he had in the long nights ahead of him ... Mark didn’t even feel like an adult. He felt like a child; a lonely, scared child who just wanted to reach out and have someone gently touch his hand and tell him to get some rest, it would all be OK in the morning.
Mark was looking for that person more and more. That person was never there, and it was killing Mark to know that he only had himself to blame for it.
*
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Mark knows that when people look at him, all they can see are his accomplishments. He can’t exactly blame them; his accomplishments are astounding even for someone who wasn’t as young as he was. He’s only twenty-six years old, and he’s a multi-billionaire ... the CEO of one of the fastest-growing companies in the world. In business terms, twenty-six years old is a kid. Most people his age are still stumbling out of college, blinking in the light and wondering what they’re meant to do with themselves now that it’s become evident that their degree never necessarily meant a job. Instead of being like them, Mark is sitting in the building that holds the headquarters of his company, the one he founded when he was only nineteen years old. Back then it had seemed so easy ... he would never have known that it would ever go this far. Back then it had been exciting, innocent, just an idea. Dollar signs had been nothing to do with it and he had been creating something wonderful with the people who meant the most to him.
That’s what people didn’t see when they looked at him. Mark knew that all they would see would be the successes, the money, the fame and the accomplishments. What they wouldn’t see was what Mark had had to sacrifice for his company, for his empire. They wouldn’t see the decisions he had to make when he was far too young to be making them. They wouldn’t see the stuffy, warm offices he sat in during the lawsuits. They wouldn’t see the look of hurt in the eyes of the man who used to be their best friend, and they wouldn’t understand how it felt to know that you were the person who put it there. They wouldn’t know anything about that, because to them, success meant just that; success. It didn’t mean sacrifices.
But Mark knew the inside story, and nothing brought it back as much as being in this room did. This was unfortunate as it was the room that he practically lived and worked in every day of his life. The rest of the workstations were empty now, the computer monitors either switched off completely of humming softly on standby. Only Mark’s computer was still on properly, the silver-blue glow casting dancing shadows over the young man’s face and making him appear older than he really was. Mark felt older than he really was, and he sighed and shifted in his seat, the code on the screen in front of him flashing at him angrily. He hadn’t edited it at all for the last hour or so. He had been too deep in the thoughts of things that he didn’t want to acknowledge, and inside it was tearing him apart. He just wanted to say something, anything, to anyone, but he just couldn’t. No one understood what this whole thing had done to him anymore, not since Dustin and Chris had both left to chase after their own dreams, leaving Mark with his own. They had been the last ones at the office to have known Mark and Eduardo in the golden days, the days before everything had happened, before they had been catapulted from ordinary college kids into entrepreneurs and business men and adults instead of kids. Back then they days had consisted of video games, Mountain Dew and skipping class to sleep through a hangover. Dustin and Chris remembered the Mark and Eduardo from back then. Everyone who worked here now knew Mark their boss, and Eduardo the ex best friend whom you didn’t speak of, for fear Mark’s glares and sharp words.
Mark groaned softly to himself. He knew he wasn’t exactly discreet when it came to how a mention or a whisper of Eduardo affected him, but as the days and weeks stretched on to make more years since they had last spoken to one another, Mark couldn’t help but have to acknowledge that it was becoming harder and harder for him to continue to pretend that he was over it. Perhaps ... perhaps if there had been some closure, some sort of end ... maybe he wouldn’t still be here. But no, it had all happened so quickly for that. It had been California and hurried phone calls and Sean being Sean, and then it had been lawyer up, asshole and I’m coming back for everything and then it had been lawsuits and expansions and I’m CEO, bitch.
Squeezing his eyes shut against the glaring realization that he was currently in the room that this had occurred in, Mark sighed softly as the image of the all-too-familiar room was replaced by the memory of the hurt in Eduardo’s eyes, the hurt that had been all too clear through the anger he had forced to the forefront of his emotions. Even for Mark, who wasn’t the best at reading other people’s feelings, the hurt and the betrayal had been obvious. Mark was forced to acknowledge it every single time the thoughts broke through the code in his brain, and to his dismay this was becoming increasingly often. He missed Eduardo – he knew that he more than missed him. Perhaps he would even go as far as to say that he needed him; that he had always needed him and that the biggest mistake of his life had been watching Eduardo leave that office and not doing anything to stop him.
Eduardo had walked away.
Mark should have stopped him, said he was sorry. Mark should have ran after him, said he was sorry.
Mark should have said he was sorry.
He wasn’t sorry for what he had done, no. He had to protect his company – he was the CEO and it was his responsibility to do these things. He just wished that he had gone about it in a different way, because he knew the way he had done it was cowardly and wrong and even Mark, Emotionally Awkward Person of the Year, realized that it was no way to treat a best friend ... and Eduardo had been his best friend. In fact, in a way, he still was, because he was and remained the only person who could ever put up with Mark and his bad attitude for more than five minutes without wanting to throttle him.
But everything had blown up so fast and Mark had been a kid then. In fact he still felt like a kid now, like some child trying on his father’s boots and work blazer. He didn’t feel like a CEO in times like this. When he was alone, and when the office was quiet apart from the soft hum of computers and the code was all he had in the long nights ahead of him ... Mark didn’t even feel like an adult. He felt like a child; a lonely, scared child who just wanted to reach out and have someone gently touch his hand and tell him to get some rest, it would all be OK in the morning.
Mark was looking for that person more and more. That person was never there, and it was killing Mark to know that he only had himself to blame for it.
♠ ♠ ♠
[At the moment I think it will be around six or seven chapters.]