Washroom Color

it's been a pretty messed up week .

I didn't get to spend anymore talking with Garrett on his own, because after a couple minutes, Marcel had arrived. When I saw her coming, I scooted to the side to give her the space between Garrett and I, but she just waved me off and sat on his other side. “What are you kids up to?” She asked with a smile, and I wanted to hate her again, but I just couldn't.

I ended up just smiling at her and shrugging my shoulders before I let myself look at my shoes and fool around with the laces. “Zombie face-off,” Garrett explained, and from the corner of my eye I could see that he'd put his arm around her. “She agreed to take me on, I'll beat her to the dust.”

Well that was surely comforting. I smiled as Marcel laughed and said something that I didn't register. I stood up from the dirt, and brushed myself. “Well, time to mingle,” I said with a swish of my hand, then I let it rest on my forehead, feeling a dizzy spell come on. Hopefully it was only from standing too fast.

“You okay?” That was Marcel's voice from where she was sitting.

“Yeah,” I looked back at them, and smiled, then wandered off to find Fee and Kennedy.

The rest of the night went smoothly enough. I laughed along with John's jokes, and Jared taught me a few riffs while Pat and Nick wrestled in the dirt, but it wasn't long before I got a little tired of all the chaos, and I found myself wandering into the darkness.

Fee came up behind me. “Hey, you okay? Where are you going?” she placed a hand on my shoulder and we continued walking together.

“I'm fine yeah.” Another lie, and another fake smile.

“You look upset.” She was treading on thin ice, and I know she knew it. She always knew when it was time to back off, and when I t was time to ask more questions. “Is it... Garrett.”

I looked at her sharply, maybe more than I'd meant to. “Why would you think that?”

She sighed, and bit her lip, “Well I saw that you were talking to him and that girl – ”

“His girlfriend.” I corrected.

She nodded. “Right.”

We were both silent after that, because I think Fee knew exactly what I was thinking. Despite the things she'd said the other day about me stealing him away from her, I knew that she was trying to find something more logical to say about it.

“You really like him, don't you?” she said, and I looked at her for a split second before looking away in the darkness. We'd stopped walking, and I bent my legs to sit down and lie back to stare at the stars above us. Fee did the same. “He's just a guy.” She continued. “Don't let him get you down just because of his stupid girlfriend.”

“She's not stupid though, that's the thing.” I said quickly, “She's like... perfect you know? Like nice and pretty and... healthy.” I head her breath suck in rapidly at that, and I felt her hand cover mine. “He deserves her, so I don't even know why I'm upset.”

Fee said nothing. And I'm glad, because I know that I wouldn't have been able to handle her pity.



When we finally got around to having our big left4dead face off the weed after the bonfire party whatever, I knew already that I was about regret ever challenging Garrett to anything.

The thing was, he was good. Like, scary good, and I found myself frustrated over the small things that he'd do in the game. Like fucking kill the zombie that I was trying to go for.

Granted, I'd never played this game before – only seen the ads on TV, but normally video games came quickly to me.

We were sitting in Seth's room up in the attic because somehow Seth had found out about the challenge and refused to let me go over to Garrett's. Not that I'd wanted to anyway, or anything like that.

“Seth, you don't need to freak out.” I'd said when I'd brought it up. “And I'm not a baby, either.”

He'd just shrugged his shoulders and continued on his cereal. “Guys have mixed intentions, Hannah.”

“He has a girlfriend! And I don't even... like him that way come on.” It was weird talking about this with my brother, but hey, he'd brought it up.

And besides, here was the thing. I hadn't seen Garrett in a week, and every day I convinced myself not to think about him, wish the two of us could hang out, or get to know each other better. As a result, my feelings for Garrett were completely innocent. He was just another cute guy out of my league.

I was sitting on Seth's bed, facing the tv, and Garrett was sitting on the floor in front of the bed, with his back leaning against the frame. His cell phone buzzed, and he glanced down at it for just long enough for me to do some crazy maneuver and gain more points.

"SHIT. God dammit." he mumbled then put down his controller to text back whatever message he'd received.

"Who you textin'" I asked in a sing song, like the nosey little bitch I was.

"My girlfriend." he answered simply, and I cringed inwardly so he wouldn't see.

“You two are cute,” I said on a whim. I had to keep things realistic. I couldn't have him. We were just friends.

He laughed a little bit and picked up the controller again. “Thanks I guess?”

“How long have you been dating?”

“Uhhh,” He was fully concentrated on the game, “I don't know, a few months at least.”

I laughed a little nervously “You don't know for sure? Girls are really into anniversaries, but better get things straight buddy.”

He shrugged his shoulders, “Aren't you Miss Know It All,”

“What can I say, I know women.”

“I guess you're right. I mean okay, we got together on like, a Thursday, does that count?”

“Do you remember the date?”

“Um.”

I whacked him over the head with my hand. “We're going to have to have you practice how to be a gentle man.”

“Oh really, are you that smart. Wanna make a bet?” He paused the game and turned around to look at him, sweeping sandy brown hair away from his eyes.

“You're on. I bet I can coach you into being a better boyfriend. She fall right in love you.”

“She already is in love with me,” He chided.

“She'll fall in love with you all over again then,” I clarified. I stuck my hand down to him, and he shook it. If this was what it was going to take to keep myself as neutral towards Garrett as I could, then I'd do it. I didn't have a crush on him. I did not.