Washroom Color

last blues for bloody knuckles .

“Oh,” Garrett said when he stopped on the style channel. “This show. I don't really understand this.”

From my side of the couch, I squinted at the TV to figure out what it is we were now about to be watching. “It's Say Yes To The Dress, what don't you get about desperate woman who can't make decisions on their own?” I said.

“I mean my girlfriend watches this but... like it's just a dress right? Why's everyone running around... freakin' out?”

Oh, so he had a girlfriend. I knew a cute boy paying attention to me was a little too good to be true. I've never been the kind of girl to have boys falling all over me. In fact I'd only ever had one boyfriend and that was back in high school. It had never been that important to me, anyway, and it wasn't something that bothered me too much. But now, I found that my stomach flipped with mild jealousy at the thought of he and his girlfriend.

I looked over him and gave him an exaggerated 'are you stupid?' look, “Come on don't you that the dress is like, the most important part of marriage?” I raised up my eyebrows. “No one wants a fat bride, know what I mean?”

I looked away and I heard him laugh as I stood up and stretched. As soon as I did, I remembered that I wasn't wearing a bra and I lowered my arms to cover my chest discreetly. With my arms over my chest, I said: “You want anything? Water, food?” a hug maybe? Cause you're so damn cute. couldn't say that last part of course.

He looked up at me and scratched his head “What have you got?”

I glided towards the kitchen in my bare feet, and I heard him get off the couch to follow me. “Well good sir,” I chanted as I opened the door of the refrigerator and peered in, “Take a look yourself.”

I moved over to one side of the island in the middle of the kitchen, across from the fridge, and just as I sat down in one of the tall chairs, the boys came roaring down the stairs, over running the kitchen.

“Yo, Garrett, we're heading out to get food you coming?” Seth said, taking in the scene and looking at me funny. “You can come too Hannah.”

“What've you guys been doing?” The one who'd arrived with my brother said, almost suspiciously.

“I've been learning about wedding dresses and how brides are fat.” Garrett said, and I rolled my eyes.

“I'm going to sit this one out I think,” I said, and stood up to go back into the living room and waste more time watching TV.

“Are you seriously passing up pizza, to what, wish you were getting married?” That was Garrett, and I looked over at him and kept my face straight, because he hadn't cracked a smile either. “Are you one of those girls who doesn't eat?”

“She's got a habit of staying in the house all the time, ever since we were kids. She's no fun don't take it personally or anything.” Seth said, which was only halfway the truth and half a huge exaggeration. I didn't stay in the house all of the time – actually, at school I almost never let myself go home. And also, I was fun, just never around him because he pissed me off so much. And because I only got to see him twice a year.

“Shut the fuck up Seth,” I said rolling my eyes. He knew why that was.

“Okay whatever, we're going to pick up Dean and Jess,” John spoke up, and made his way out of the kitchen towards the front, and all the other boys followed. As it turned out, it was John who'd arrived with my brother, but I hadn't recognized him. Garrett barely looked at me as he passed by, but he patted me on the shoulder.

If this was what they were going to think of me now, I knew I needed to change something. Who knew what bullshit Seth was going to say about me, he needed a good smack on the head.

“Wait, I'll go if you buy me some.” And so I went upstairs and quickly changed into jeans, a tee and a cardigan while they waited outside. Hopefully this was going to be an interesting ride, and hopefully I'd prove that even though I was sick, I could still be halfway normal.