Do Your Worst

After the strange ordeal with Castiel, I spent my night wandering the grounds. I went at night because this was more comfortable for me. The cooling darkness around me made me feel back at home. Yet the only thing I could think about was Castiel. Why is he so afraid of something new? Or is it that he is afraid of the punishment that would come? Did he ever think of me the way I've recently thought of him? I doubt it. Castiel is too afraid of everything.

At this point I had no choice but to wait for Castiel to make his decision. But waiting means I feel something for him when I don't; as far as I know. The only thing I feel for that pampered angel is lust. If I don't wait, it tells him it's fine to forget what had happened. I don't understand what happened.

I would like to know what caused those emotions to rise. Emotions I have never had before. It was very rare that I ever had close contact with someone else. There has only been a handful of people that I ever let touch me, and that includes my adoptive parents.

The only thing that I do not want to happen is me falling for him.

If I can help it, I will not fall for him, or anyone. Ever. I will make sure I do not go through that again.

I looked around me and realized I've brought myself to the forest again. It seems as if this place is my safe haven, until something brings me back to reality. I wandered through the woodsy haven until sunrise. At that point, I decided to turn for my artificial home.

The walk back seemed to take longer than my aimless walking. I knew exactly where I was, but something seemed off about the time. I put that aside as the school building came into view.

Telling by the sun, I could safely say it was near six o'clock in the morning. The students should be waking and starting to get ready for the day ahead. If it were a normal day for me, I'd still be asleep and most likely being yelled at by the assistant that had been assigned to me earlier in the month. Were it not for her, I'd never be on time for my first class.

I entered the chamber tower quietly, listening for any signs of life around me. Nothing. It was too peaceful in the main room. I made my way upstairs and was, yet again, greeted with silence. Maybe I was wrong about the time. When I had finally reached my room, I found a note on my door.

Students:
Regular scheduled classes will be canceled this day and the following. Please do not visit the school building for any purposes during these two days.

"Everyone went back to bed," I thought out loud.

"Or they had gone to get breakfast. The Hall is still open."

"Might as well do that, too, I guess. Seems smart, doesn't it, Akier?" I said without turning around.

"What were you doing out so late?" he asked me, his voice hard with authority.

"I was walking. Thinking, to be more specific." I turned to face him and show the annoyance on my face.

"Students are not allowed out of their rooms after midnight."

"I was never in my own room yesterday. I left the infirmary."

I never had much respect for Akier. He always came off as the "perfect" one. He walked as if he owned the world. He never seemed to like me, either. In any case, we were complete opposites.

"Hm. Is that where you touched my youngest brother?"

"I did not touch him the way you think. I simply grabbed his hand to comfort him. He was crying."

"A demon trying to comfort an angel? That seems unlikely."

"You expect me to let Castiel sit and cry?" My anger was already seeping through every word I spoke. It felt as if Akier was trying to antagonize me.

"Well, most demons would. They're expected to be cold-hearted creatures, are they not?"

"Demons don't do as expected. Especially a demon prince."

"I had almost forgotten you were royalty. You look like the rest on the scum demons." His face was smug. His voice was dripping in sarcasm. I was prepared to destroy him. I had to use every ounce of strength I had not to attack him.

"What is it you want, Akier?"

"I want you to stay away from Castiel. Don't touch him. Don't speak to him. Don't even look at him."

"You think I'm the one that approaches him?" I let out a laugh. Akier's face darkened.

"I do not care who approaches who. Just stay away from him. Do I make myself clear, Xantis?"

"Crystal."

I turned on him and walked into my room. Let him think he can control me. I'd much rather play that game in a secretive manner, anyway. He will soon learn that no one can control me.